well here is a little more behind the name, its more her family than it is her, she has gotten better to use the name i prefer. but her dad's side of the family pretty much refuses to call me by it, i don't see them to often, but when we get mail from them and stuff, it just makes me cringe. i can understand her wanting to hold on to her husband. for her family's sake, i go by Mickey also, pretty much the masculine spelling of it, or they call me Mouse, which is fine too. it took her dad probably four years to realize that was what i preferred to be referred as. i can understand he wanted to make sure i stuck around, especially after getting his daughter prego so young. i didn't abandon her then and that was rough. being 15-16 and in high school and prego isn't fun for any girl, but i stood by her side and i made sure she finished high school and she even graduated early. i know it's not an overnight thing, nothing ever is. she is quite good to me. i am being patient, i think finally one day she will come to realize who i am. i wish i could find a therapist around here. quite afraid that most of them don't deal with gender issues, the last two my mother forced me to go see, did nothing but try to cure me basically by telling me that i was a man and that is what i should be. as you can see that worked out real well. i want to talk to a professional about it, but i want to talk to a close girlfriend to, and unfortunately i have no idea where they have disappeared to. i'd like to talk to my sis(in-law), but i don't think i can, cause i don't think she is ready to hear all of everything i need to explain, especially without crying the whole time or yelling at my son for getting in to stuff. it's something i know i need to do at least to start with by myself and i just don't want my wife getting the wrong ideas, etc etc. etc. other reasons i can't really talk to my sis right now is that i don't want to burden her with my problems as she is finally getting to plan her wedding and i sure as hell don't want to ruin that for her and she is also fighting to get a house, so yeah, but i really want to talk to her and tell her the stuff i need to. she seems to understand and not to mention she seems to love my kids as if their her own. i appreciate all the advice and support you all give me.
thanks,
Mickie
