Secret handshake?

[Stepheewt]

I love this post. The secret handshake. The, I know what you feel, and You know what I feel so now we can just be besties. I am Sure if you figured me out and approached me , I would have lost my entire mind and melted. Like my greatest fear in life.  I do understand the thought though. We need our own secret language. Lol. Sometimes I think when you see someone else your sure is just like you, it would just be nice to have a friend who gets it. 

[Colleen_definitely]

Secret handshakes, gang signs, or avian mating dance esque behavior complete with flashy plumage?  Why that would fly in the face of generations of "pretend you didn't notice each other" cat like behavior which defines this community.

[TonyaW]

Only way anything would work is if you can some how signal "hey I'm trans" without also signaling "I think you are too". 

The pin might do it, but allies might also wear such a pin. If you were going to approach someone wearing such a pin, you'd would want to do it in a "thanks for your support" manner rather than assuming they are trans themselves. You can out yourself in the process if you choose.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Linde]

I ordered a few of these pins.  I currently have a feeling that i am the only trans in this county of almost 1 million people!
Statistics speak against it, but how would I know?

[Bea1968]

I received the pins.  Will start wearing one tomorrow. 

[ChrissyRyan]

I received the pins.  Will start wearing one tomorrow.

That is nice.        Let us know if it opens up some doors for conversation for you.

I am hoping for you positive results!

Chrissy

[Rhonda Lynn]

Secret handshakes, gang signs, or avian mating dance esque behavior complete with flashy plumage?  Why that would fly in the face of generations of "pretend you didn't notice each other" cat like behavior which defines this community.

That's it exactly! I so often hear the word "community" referring to trans people. In the last decade I have had face to face conversations with maybe three trans-women? Other than that, it's an occasional discussion on-line here or a couple of long distance friendships through email. Am I the exception or are a lot of us kind out there on our own for the most part?

[Bea1968]

I think we are mostly on our own.  Maybe it's out of fear.  Maybe we just don't know how to connect with others.  Some here seem to feel that they don't want to really associate with other transgender because that just reinforces that self image.  They would rather be accepted as their gender by others of that gender.  Living genuine as their self.   I think we as a demographic make it a lot more lonely than it really needs the be. Thank God for this forum. 

[Linde]

That's it exactly! I so often hear the word "community" referring to trans people. In the last decade I have had face to face conversations with maybe three trans-women? Other than that, it's an occasional discussion on-line here or a couple of long distance friendships through email. Am I the exception or are a lot of us kind out there on our own for the most part?

I also wonder always about that community thing.  My support group meets once a month, but after the meeting e all go our own way.  I know nobody who is trans or intersex outside of that group (except a few friends her from Susan's), but I definitely have no community feeling, because I would not know where and how to find the other memembrs of this community!

[Colleen_definitely]

That's it exactly! I so often hear the word "community" referring to trans people. In the last decade I have had face to face conversations with maybe three trans-women? Other than that, it's an occasional discussion on-line here or a couple of long distance friendships through email. Am I the exception or are a lot of us kind out there on our own for the most part?

I think it's mostly because we are so used to hiding in public, or at least not waving a giant "ask me how it feels to be transgender!" banner around.

[Stepheewt]

I think it's mostly because we are so used to hiding in public, or at least not waving a giant "ask me how it feels to be transgender!" banner around.

That's it exactly, most avoid being seen as anything other than a cis female. So we're not gonna advertise. Crazy part is we should feel like we can just admit it, own it so to speak. Unfortunately we're made to feel so bad or ashamed of being who you are, it's terrifying to admit it to someone. One wrong step everyone knows and you feel like your walking around with a neon sign of embarrassment. Sucks to feel that way. We all try to be strong and say the world can do what they want and I need to be me. But no matter how brave you are, we all want some level of acceptance. Even just the stranger who looks at you and says "ma'am "

[Ricki Wright]

I think I will get a button or patch that says "I survived Testosterone poisoning! Let me know if you did too!" with the trans 3 point somewhere on it. If I am not supposed to out people, I will out myself and invite my peeps to come introduce themselves if they choose.

Ricki

[Maddie]

Hope its not a high five or fistbump thing, or I will start wearing a helmet.

[Lady Sarah]

If trans people made up at least 10% of the population, perhaps not being an extreme minority would make it easier on us. However, that is very highly unlikely. Three trans women killed in Dallas, TX, and no arrests... reinforces the concept of keeping ones mouth shut about it and minding our Ps and Qs.  We live in a world where being trans could get us killed. America is going backwards on trans rights, where we do not have the same rights as everyone else.

Why open one's  mouth and screw everything up when remaining silent about it is safer?

[Stepheewt]

God that is a sobering thought. So sad how people are hurt or even killed just for being "not normal". Society has its normal and because we choose to do this it's on us. Just sad that they still don't understand about it not really being a choice. It's that fear that kills so many due to suicide. The ones who come out and stand proud then fear repercussions Living life without consequences is hard to do. All I know is I feel Ike I've been acting the part my entire life. Only when Im Stephee do I feel like I'm actually just reacting and being me. It's when I'm actually at peace. "Live free or Die trying" Should just be "live free  !"

[Ricki Wright]

God that is a sobering thought. So sad how people are hurt or even killed just for being "not normal". Society has its normal and because we choose to do this it's on us. Just sad that they still don't understand about it not really being a choice. It's that fear that kills so many due to suicide. The ones who come out and stand proud then fear repercussions Living life without consequences is hard to do. All I know is I feel Ike I've been acting the part my entire life. Only when Im Stephee do I feel like I'm actually just reacting and being me. It's when I'm actually at peace. "Live free or Die trying" Should just be "live free  !"

Humans by nature kill that which they fear, and fear anything they do not understand. With Replikkans in the US dying as a political party, they played the "Race" card behind Trump in a last gasp effort to bolster numbers. This card also included anything "LGBTQ+" and "Roe vs Wade" as a result. We live in dangerous times where the Senate is giving tacit approval by not saying anything against the human rights atrocities happening in the US right now. ICE agents arrested for being serial killers (including one trans women), child deaths in detention at the boarder, and religious shootings everywhere, who is even going to notice (except us) a trans person missing or assaulted here and there?

I learned quickly to not startle fellow members by clocking them. I hate that is the state of society right now. It's like trans people are 15 years behind the L's and the G's as far as being able to be public.

ok. /rant off.

Ricki

[Linde]

I learned quickly to not startle fellow members by clocking them. I hate that is the state of society right now. It's like trans people are 15 years behind the L's and the G's as far as being able to be public.

ok. /rant off.

Ricki

I live as a woman among women.  I know only cis women, and hang only out with cis women.  I am not interested in being some trans worrier, I am not interested in trans pride, I don't know what is being trans to be proud about, I was born that way, nothing to be proud about anything one had no chance to influence.
I am still active in female stuff, to help fellow women to better their life, but not as a trans woman, but just as an average woman. 
I really don't get it what some of the trans activists want to achieve?  As I said, I live like a woman, and would not know what would improve  my life by telling the world that I am trans?  Most of my friends know, but they don't care. my family knows, and they have accepted me the way I am, my doctors know, because they treat me, and nobody else needs to know anyway!  And I also don't feel being part of some obscur trans community!

What do those trans activist want to achieve?

[Colleen_definitely]

God that is a sobering thought. So sad how people are hurt or even killed just for being "not normal".

Perhaps I'm a bit jaded on this after seeing the aftermath of this sort of thing on a large scale during my time in the military.  But people routinely kill each other for no reason other than identity.  Sometimes it's simply a beating, other times it's genocide.

Humans are not nice creatures when viewed as a whole.

[Devlyn]

I live as a woman among women.  I know only cis women, and hang only out with cis women.  I am not interested in being some trans worrier, I am not interested in trans pride, I don't know what is being trans to be proud about, I was born that way, nothing to be proud about anything one had no chance to influence.
I am still active in female stuff, to help fellow women to better their life, but not as a trans woman, but just as an average woman. 
I really don't get it what some of the trans activists want to achieve?  As I said, I live like a woman, and would not know what would improve  my life by telling the world that I am trans?  Most of my friends know, but they don't care. my family knows, and they have accepted me the way I am, my doctors know, because they treat me, and nobody else needs to know anyway!  And I also don't feel being part of some obscur trans community!

What do those trans activist want to achieve?

They've already achieved one of their goals..... allowing you to seek treatment and live the way you want.

[Emma1017]

We should develop an non-dating/non-merchandising trans app that just lets you send out an anonymous signal.  We would suddenly see all us on the map and not feel alone...