Getting surgery done while alone

[TaraJo]

I have surgery scheduled this November and it's getting close to when I can start planning my travel arrangments.

When I had originally started planning surgery, my plan was to drive to Scottsdale with my (then) boyfriend, he'd be there with me and we'd go back home together.  Unfortunately, a lot has changed since then.  Lee went two months with no work and I spent my surgery savings covering his portion of the bills.  I had to reschedule my surgery for about six months later and broke up with Lee. 

So, now it looks like I'm going for surgery but I don't really have anyone to go with me.  There are a few people I could bring with me, but I don't know if I can really trust them enough to take care of me while I'm recovering.  Others are trustworthy, but they can't be expected to be able to take two weeks off work to take care of me. 

I've had a lot of people tell me that everything is a lot easier if I have someone come with me and I believe it.  But I don't think I'll be able to do it.  I know I can do it on my own.... but I'm not entirely certain what to expect.  It seems to me that if I'm going it alone, a big part of the plan is going to involve planning ahead.  I guess that's what I'm asking: Who else has had experience going for surgery on their own?  what do I need to plan for?  What should I expect?  What can I do to make my trip and surgery easier while I'm in Scottsdale, on my own.

[Linde]

I have not have surgery (beside the easy peasy orchi), and will have the same dilemma you have.  How can one do this alone, without a partner or freiend who is along for the critical part of the recovery time.  This is on of the main reasons why I am not super pushy to get my SRS aranged.
It would be great if you would share your solution with us.

[me.ashvi]

I can relate with you, girl.

<Removed by moderator - Susan's Terms of Service>

Ok now.. Let me come to the point. Even I'm looking forward to undergo surgery very soon. Once I get my loan approved. And even I don't have any one.. Who can stay with me during recovery process.. I have one friend who stays near by hospital.. But I don't think she can stay with me for long.. She might just come for a visit... So even I need to go alone for surgery..

I guess it won't be much problem.. As when you are in hospital you will have hospital staff, nurses etc to take care of you.. after surgery.. The only problem is when you go back to home and you are still under recovery.. When you definitely require someone's help.

I'm planning to go alone for surgery.. Later once I get discharge from hospital..I might stay with my friend.

All the best for your surgery, hope everything goes well.. keep me updated.. And let me know your views on this.. And btw which surgery are you planning? SIGMOID COLON ? OR PENILE INVERSION?

Sent from my SM-A605G using Tapatalk

[TaraJo]

btw which surgery are you planning? SIGMOID COLON ? OR PENILE INVERSION?

Penile inversion.  Although, since I've been on hormones for over a decade by now, I've had significant shrinkage and I expect the doctor is going to have to use a skin graft.  Meh.  I can live with that.

From what you've said, I'll be ok while I'm in the hospital and the nurses can help take care of me.  That's good.  And when I get home, I have enough friends and family here who can help me out. 

I get a little nervous going from the hospital, in Scottsdale Arizona, to my home in Tulsa Oklahoma.  I mean, that's going to be a 2 hr flight, who knows how much time manuvering my way through an airport and then getting from the airport to my home and did I mention I'm going to have tgo carry a bunch of luggage with me while I'm at it?  Once I get home, I should be good, though.

[Dena]

If you need something while you're in scottsdale, I am available. I live about 20 miles from the hospital and I have been down there often enough that the staff knows me. Working your way through the airport isn't difficult as you can drop your luggage off at the curb then collect it at your destination. I would recommend you carry a minimum of luggage, possibly one piece with wheels. The other option is to ship by ground freight what you don't need for your return trip. You will receive a pile of goodies so you could ship unneeded clothes to make room for the goodies you will return with.

I was able to have my surgery by myself and made the flight from Colorado to Santa Anna including a long bus trip to Denver. Yes it was a bit uncomfortable but you can do it by yourself.

[Linde]

I get a little nervous going from the hospital, in Scottsdale Arizona, to my home in Tulsa Oklahoma.  I mean, that's going to be a 2 hr flight, who knows how much time manuvering my way through an airport and then getting from the airport to my home and did I mention I'm going to have tgo carry a bunch of luggage with me while I'm at it?  Once I get home, I should be good, though.

This i relatively easy.  You inform the airline prior to your flight that you need a wheelchair and that you also need help with your luggage.  You can tell them that the wheelchair needs to bring you to the airplane seat (they have special ones for this).  To and from the airport you can have a taxi service helping you.

[Gertrude]

There are a few of us in AZ. If you need anything give a shout. I visited Kendra when she was here.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[KathyLauren]

I am pre-op, but I have already talked to my local doctor about this.  Though I am married, my wife does not want to travel to a strange city with me where she'd be on her own most of the time and doesn't speak the primary language.

According to my doctor, who has sent many trans women off for surgery, about the only thing you really need a companion for is handling luggage on the way home.  There are alternatives.  I will ensure that my luggage, including my carry-on has wheels.  I will get the cab driver and/or a porter to lift my bags out of the taxi.  I will ask airline personnel or a porter to lift my checked bag onto the scale or conveyor when I check in.  I will ask the airline staff for boarding assistance, possibly with a wheelchair and certainly to do any bag lifting.

Arriving home, again I will ask for help with my bags.  I don't think my wife will be comfortable driving to the airport, so I'll probably take a bus.  The bus driver normally does all the lifting. 

If necessary, I can play up being the poor weak woman who has just had surgery for "woman problems".  It shouldn't be hard to do, since it's true.  There are enough macho men around who will fall for that.

When I asked my doctor about the practicality of all this, she agreed that I had figured out how to negotiate most of the obstacles.  She had recently sent a trans woman for surgery who had no travelling companion.  In spite of having some mental health challenges, and the obvious limitations of having just had surgery, she had no difficulties.

[Mendi]

I flew all alone and back to another continent, to another country, to a country from which language I didn´t understant a thing and I also don´t understand a single alphabet from the language.

And I did it and it wasn´t really difficult.

[JanePlain]

It sucks to be alone in a hospital but I've been there.  Nurses (bless em all) are a great comfort.  If you tell them your doing this solo they (in my experience) make added effort to check on you and make things easier.  Leaving by cab is ok (I think) because its not like your getting out of surgery and leaving still sedated to the gills.  That would probably be vetoed by your doctor.  How long do you have in the hospital after surgery?  And pack light.  Like really light.  While in the hospital your not going to need anything to wear.  Its really just what you wear there and if you put the same thing on when you leave.  Then traveling cloths if your trip is more then a day.

[Linde]

Where ever I would have surgery, I would need to travel.  The way I understand the entire deal is that one needs to stay close by the surgical facility for several days after being released from the hospital.  That is where my problem is, I would be all alone in a motel/hotel with nobody available should there be a problem, or to help me to get food, etc. for me.

How would one arrange for this?
The closest facility near me, which is doing SRS would be in Miami.  This would mean a 2.5 to 3.5 hour car drive.
Would I be able to drive my car (a medium sized SUV) for that time to get home, after I am released from the Hospital (I want a minimum depth procedure done, which might heal faster).

I would appreciate any opinion about this?

[Dena]

The closest facility near me, which is doing SRS would be in Miami.  This would mean a 2.5 to 3.5 hour car drive.
Would I be able to drive my car (a medium sized SUV) for that time to get home, after I am released from the Hospital (I want a minimum depth procedure done, which might heal faster).

I would appreciate any opinion about this?

Sitting for about 4 hours without being able to move is rather uncomfortable. I would alternate between sitting on a cushion and sitting without one whenever I became uncomfortable. It would be better if you considered some other form of transportation where somebody else does the driving.

[Linde]

Sitting for about 4 hours without being able to move is rather uncomfortable. I would alternate between sitting on a cushion and sitting without one whenever I became uncomfortable. It would be better if you considered some other form of transportation where somebody else does the driving.

And that is my problem, which ultimately might keep m from getting SRS.  I cannot be away from home or a long time (like going to Bangkok, etc.) because I have a big dog at home, and cannot afford to kennel her for $65/24 hours in addition to all the the other cost!

When i did set out to become a woman, I had no idea that it is so complicated to get a relative simple surgery done.  One has to face it, the limited depth vagina is not a major surgery, because normal sterile body cavities will not be opened for it.  It is mostly moving skin flabs around!

[JanePlain]

And that is my problem, which ultimately might keep m from getting SRS.  I cannot be away from home or a long time (like going to Bangkok, etc.) because I have a big dog at home, and cannot afford to kennel her for $65/24 hours in addition to all the the other cost!

When i did set out to become a woman, I had no idea that it is so complicated to get a relative simple surgery done.  One has to face it, the limited depth vagina is not a major surgery, because normal sterile body cavities will not be opened for it.  It is mostly moving skin flabs around!

I wish I could think of something.  I'm a huge dog (& cat) fan so I wish I could help on that.  Is there some neighbor that would be willing to take care of your dog?  Which I hate suggesting because I had my dog escape my sister's care every time I went on a work trip.

I'm no doctor but I don't know that a minimal depth GRS SRS (Whatever is the proper term) will be much different from one that uses all the available tissue.  Maybe I'm not understanding that correctly?  I'm sure someone with more background or has personal experience would know better.

From work trips that I've taken where I was either in the hotel or at a different job site (And didn't want to drive around looking for places to eat) it seemed like there was always some local places that were slipping food delivery menus under the door.  We used to joke about one that was "Bucket of ______" and renamed it garbage can of pasta place.  *Not the quality of the food just the huge amount they delivered.  Maybe some research on the area near the hotel would bring up some of these types of places?

[Linde]

I wish I could think of something.  I'm a huge dog (& cat) fan so I wish I could help on that.  Is there some neighbor that would be willing to take care of your dog?  Which I hate suggesting because I had my dog escape my sister's care every time I went on a work trip.

I'm no doctor but I don't know that a minimal depth GRS SRS (Whatever is the proper term) will be much different from one that uses all the available tissue.  Maybe I'm not understanding that correctly?  I'm sure someone with more background or has personal experience would know better.

From work trips that I've taken where I was either in the hotel or at a different job site (And didn't want to drive around looking for places to eat) it seemed like there was always some local places that were slipping food delivery menus under the door.  We used to joke about one that was "Bucket of ______" and renamed it garbage can of pasta place.  *Not the quality of the food just the huge amount they delivered.  Maybe some research on the area near the hotel would bring up some of these types of places?

My problem is that I live in a very sparsely occupied are (actually, I am surrounded by real jungle), and the one neighbor, who is my normal go to with dog needs, will be moving away.  And the dog is big, it is a Rottweiler/Great Dane mix, and not to many people feel comfortable around my cute baby.

I can judge the involvement of the surgery pretty well, because I made my living with that kind of stuff.  It is definitely easier, and less wound infection risk is involved, if the abdominal cavity has not to be opened (and that I required to put the vagina in).  The limited depth is just some creative surface cutting and stitching, as well as some removal (for me it would be only the sorry little bit of a penis that is left.  The biggest challenge here is, in my opinion, the creation of a functional clitoris and an appropriate hood over it.  But again, that is mostly surface stuff.
I think I would have to learn to live a few days on junky food, and I am pretty sure, I will survive that.

My two biggest problems would be my dog and finding a surgeon who takes my insurance!

I have to do some more homework!
Thanks for all the good advises here!
Linde

[Dorit]

There are surgeons in the US that offer recovery apartments after surgery.    I used one for that reason, was in his apartment for three weeks after surgery.  He saw to the transfer from the hospital to the apartment.  He saw me every day, he had a staff that also helped, but I did have my SO with me too.   Only after the three weeks recovery was I ready for the very long trip home to Israel.

[TonyaW]

I'm no doctor but I don't know that a minimal depth GRS SRS (Whatever is the proper term) will be much different from one that uses all the available tissue.  Maybe I'm not understanding that correctly?  I'm sure someone with more background or has personal experience would know better.

At my consult my doctor said the zero depth or shallow (not sure if there is a universal term) would mean only 2 days in hospital rather than a week needed with full depth, but still two weeks of mostly not sitting.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[AnneK]

My problem is that I live in a very sparsely occupied are (actually, I am surrounded by real jungle), and the one neighbor, who is my normal go to with dog needs, will be moving away.  And the dog is big, it is a Rottweiler/Great Dane mix, and not to many people feel comfortable around my cute baby.

There is a GCS clinic in or planned for Toronto.  That would be a long cab ride home, though I could take subway & bus.  Like you, I also have a dog and cat to worry about.

One thing about that Toronto clinic.  It's located in a hospital that does outpatient surgery only.  However, it's located in "hospital row", with other nearby hospitals connected via tunnel.  I expect patients would be staying in one of those, rather than being kicked out onto the street at the end of the day.