(I can hear a bald eagle chirping outside my window while I type this - I live in a beautiful place)
Seems like a month since I've posted here. If I'm honest, I've been ruminating on deeper stuff, like "Am I really trans or is this just a fetish that I've taken to an extreme?" You know, impostor syndrome stuff.
But I went to electrolysis yesterday and my tech cleared a lot of dark hairs on my chin and it made me euphoric. Sometimes, I go there in girl mode, then stop at the grocery store on the way home with a pink face mask to cover the redness and remaining stubble. In yesterday's case, I wore one of my new Victoria's Secret push-up bras and a cute top, along with tight jeans and a some jewelry. I feel a little less awkward and nervous every time I do this.
Yesterday's top was black, so I wore a black scrunchie and watchband but today's is white, so I color-matched those bits again. I shaved my chin this morning and put some primer, foundation, mascara and lipstick on and when I wasn't in bad lighting, I thought I looked pretty cute, which was nice.
But I still hide in the neighborhood. I had a baggy shirt with me so I could get out of my car and retrieve my mail without tipping my hand. If I'm dressed in a revealing top (anything other than a hoodie) I keep a baggie shirt nearby at all times, in case someone knocks at the door. But I do get a tiny bit braver by the day.
I'm continuing to look at a career as an electrologist. I have been working hard to bolster sales for my business but I'd like to significantly increase my income. I discussed it a bit further with my electro tech while she worked on me yesterday. She thinks I'll be good at it and says it's not hard to get clients. It's an AI-proof career during a time when so many are in danger of losing their jobs due to AI. I was listening to a Bernie Sanders interview this morning in which he expressed his concerns about the lack of oversight and regulations on AI. "If a 50 year old truck driver loses his job to self-driving trucks, what is he going to do for work when so many others are losing their jobs at the same time?" This is really something to think about when considering a career these days.
There are very few electrologists near me and there always seems to be more clients than practitioners. It will require about a $30k investment and about 6 months of training and preparation. Since I live in a pretty conservative area, I'd probably put "trans-owned" on my website and Google local listing in order to weed out people who don't think I should exist. Of course, this could easily out me to someone in my own neighborhood if any neighbors should happen to look for this service, but it's a step I'd be willing to take.