I keep thinking about posting an update, but I feel I have too much to say about my fears, doubts, moments of euphoria and of pain to even know where to start, so I'll just write a little update again and see what comes out.
I wore a cute purple/black babydoll top to electro last week and to the grocery store after. I like the way the flared bottom creates that shape, that appearance of curves.
I liked the top so much that I bought another one, blue with flowers, which I wore today. I don't enjoy having to wear a face mask to cover both the post-electro redness and the remaining whiskers, but I suppose I do feel a lot safer that way. If I'm honest, I look most female from the nose up. My lips are thin and my face is long, so my jaw can get me clocked. I can't wait for FFS round 2 to plump up my lips.
I'm not good at all at putting outfits together and I don't really feel inspired to work on that skill. At the very least, I need some women's footwear.
I'm working my way through the at-home portion of my electrology training - I'm probably about 2/3 finished. This has me wondering how to proceed. I want to use my chosen name at the school and in my practice but I'm not feeling inspired to do this. I'm hoping the FFS people get me in soon and I'm looking better and all healed up. I want to be inspired to attend the training as a woman. I have more than a little apprehension about the cis women around here, as it's very likely I'll end up hearing from some transphobes who get upset about me being trans. I've heard from others who got trolled with negative reviews and worse, as they're very interested in punishing us for who we are (in the name of their God).
With the above in mind, I'm starting to stress about voice training. As a musician, it shouldn't be difficult for me. But I need to get started very very soon. The problem is, I don't want to start with my wife around, as I don't want to create discord.
I have a bit of irritation on my cheeks, so I think the trentinoin is starting to do its job. I'm taking some breaks, skipping application every couple of days in order to give my skin a chance to adjust. Of course, I don't want to do this; I want to fast-track the results. But I have to be patient for now.
I'm fighting with my local breast health center and my insurance company over a mammogram from early this year that they didn't cover because the breast center made my GP change the mammo order from a wellness screening to a diagnostic one, due to the "M" gender marker (and possibly some bias against me). I've explained my gender to them and they've still refused. State law doesn't allow this sort of gender-based discrimination. I'm fighting this. In the age of trump, everyone feels empowered to express their hatred of people who aren't like them. I won't be giving up on this fight.
