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Bad jokes and puns

Started by davina61, January 10, 2024, 04:21:02 AM

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ChrissyRyan

#340
September 16, 2026, 07:06:57 AM
What do you do in preparation of a "space themed" party?

You planet.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#341
September 16, 2026, 09:31:37 PM
A dung beetle walks into a diner.  Before it sits down, he asks about if a stool is taken.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#342
September 16, 2026, 09:33:39 PM
She went to a silent auction and won a dog whistle and two mimes.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#343
September 16, 2026, 09:34:48 PM
Can a frog jump higher than a house?


Of course!   A house can't jump.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#344
September 16, 2026, 09:36:36 PM
The handyman was given a to-do list, but he only completed jobs 1, 3, and 5. It turns out he only does odd jobs.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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big kim

#345
September 18, 2026, 04:07:25 AM
The trophy room at Blackpool football club was broken into. The carpet was stolen
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ChrissyRyan

#346
September 22, 2026, 08:30:45 PM
What often happens after a frog's car breaks down?


It gets toad.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#347
September 26, 2026, 02:58:13 PM
Desoldering sucks.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Sarah B ✅

#348
September 26, 2026, 03:56:51 PM
Hi Everyone

Why did the Borg join the internet?
Answer
They wanted a better connection to the Collective.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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Sarah B ✅

#349
September 26, 2026, 04:09:16 PM
Hi Everyone

Why did the Borg cross the road?
Answer
Resistance was futile.

Why did the Borg Cube fail its driving test?
Answer
It could not negotiate the roundabout.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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Sarah B ✅

#350
September 26, 2026, 04:10:39 PM
Hi Everyone

Okay one for the road:

A Borg walks into a bar.

The bartender says: "We don't serve your kind here."
The Borg replies: "You will."

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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davina61

#351
September 27, 2026, 02:40:56 AM
I gave up on this I was borged to death.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
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Sarah B ✅

#352
September 28, 2026, 10:10:11 PM
Hi Everyone

Question: Why did the pirate use a torrent site?

Answer
So he could share his booty peer to pier.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Sarah B ✅

#353
September 28, 2026, 10:20:31 PM
Hi Everyone

Question:  Why did the pirate love file sharing?

Answer:
Because every good download needs a matey to share with.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Sarah B ✅

#354
September 28, 2026, 10:21:15 PM
Hi Everyone

Okay, I will quit while I'm ahead with one more for the road:

Question:  Why did the pirate download an ebook?

Answer:
He was looking for a good tale to read on his iPatch.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#355
Today at 08:22:36 AM
Why when you open up a new can of evaporated milk is it not simply air?

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Lori Dee ✅

#356
Today at 10:09:55 AM
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 08:22:36 AMWhy when you open up a new can of evaporated milk is it not simply air?

Or dust? Shouldn't it be dry inside?

It is like what people call a Hot Water Heater. It doesn't heat hot water; it heats cold water.

Why do people drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

People are just weird.

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