Welcome Significant Others

[Moonflower]

May the surgical team have a fantastic day.

Thank you! The surgery took a few hours longer than expected. They had to keep pausing to address concerns about her blood pressure, blood sugar, and hemoglobin dropping. The surgery results are incredibly impressive! Every day, the healing was conspicuous. She is really real! She is thoroughly pleased. No regrets. No indications that she might want any additional surgery. Just perfect!

[Moonflower]

Best Wishes Always

Thank you. We appreciate your support.

I am especially proud of her today. We were running errands, and she was clearly presenting as female. She considered waiting in the car while I quickly ran into Walmart to see if they had a cookie that she was hungering for. She considered the recent stories of cis women being treated hatefully as if they were trans. I'm proud of her because she saw her femininity more clearly than I've ever noticed her doing so before. She went into the store with more confidence than I've seen in maybe a year. Although I want her to feel safe in this world, I'm so glad that she came in with me instead of hiding in the car. Suddenly, I got the idea that I want something like a trans flag lapel pin to show my support and help more trans people to feel safer and more confident. If anyone needs help, I want them to see that an ally is available. I welcome any suggestions.

[Moonflower]

....and prayers for a quick recovery.  ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you. We got it. Her recovery had a brief glitch when the Vaseline wasn't working peefectly any more for supporting healing, but switching to baby Aquaphor has been a great solution.

I miss her needing my daily care for her surgical dressing. Those were great moments when I always burst out with relief and surprise about how marvelous the results were, and how quickly she healed!

She is totally independent now as she takes care of all of her own hygiene again. She is thoroughly satisfied with the results.

[Pugs4life]

Hi @Moonflower

I am not sure if you are still on this forum or not but I wanted to reply to your post to see if you are still here and still available for advice. I am just beginning this journey and am hoping to connect with people who have gone through this before or are going through this.

My husband of 9 years recently came out to me as transgender. I am still in shock and not even sure how to begin to process this new reality. Any advice you might have would be greatly appreciated.

[Moonflower]

Hi @Moonflower

I am not sure if you are still on this forum or not but I wanted to reply to your post to see if you are still here and still available for advice. I am just beginning this journey and am hoping to connect with people who have gone through this before or are going through this.

I'm here! I'm back! When I was living in the U.S. and Trump's team threatened to round up trans people and their allies and incarcerate us in ICE detention centers, my wife and I went into hiding. From September 2025 to March 2026, we raced to find a place where my wife could continue her health care, and our marriage would be legally recognized. Then we narrowed the few choices down to places that welcomed us to be permanent residents.

In one of the bluest states, we lived in a horribly red county. As we prepared to flee, we were overwhelmed by the need for help. We reached out to a new acquaintance whom we had met at our nearby weekly protests, and she rallied amazing people who made our move possible. By pure luck, we wound up connecting with a realtor who has been, and continues to, put her heart and soul into selling our house and supporting our move. My kids also helped out as much as they could.

We're delighted to be here. Me more than my wife. She continues to grieve what we left behind: a large house on a large lot, full of everything that we needed for our hobbies, and full of cherished treasures. We only brought a few suitcases.

Today, she apologized again for her transness causing me pain, causing me to uproot... I cut her off. I'm delighted to be out of that country and its craziness. I'm glad to be here, eager to support the democracy and perspectives on global well-being and tranquility. Eager to share stories about what we're finding here. I miss nothing that we left behind; I savor my best memories of it and cherish having had it to remember so vividly.

I'm back online, eager to cheer you on and reassure you that your story can be as beautiful as you can imagine. Your experience is amazing as you confront every doubt and every question and every challenge with open-eyed and open-hearted courage and honesty.

I'm glad that you're here sharing your challenges that are revealing the power of your heart. I am glad to connect with you.

[Pugs4life]

@Moonflower

Hi Moonflower,

I am so glad that you are here and that you are able to be back on the forum! 

I am so sorry for all that you and your wife have had to go through.  Having to go into hiding had to be so difficult for you both.  I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must have been by the need for help.  That is such a big change for both of you.  I am so glad that you found help and had some amazing people rally around you to make your move possible. 

It is my sincere hope that you both are settling in well in your new home.  It must have been so difficult to have to uproot where you were and leave everything behind.

It is good to hear that you and your wife are in a much better, safer place now.  I can't wait for you to share your stories about what you are finding there.  I am glad that you have your beautiful memories of where you were. 

I am so thrilled that you are back online Moonflower!  I look forward to connecting with you more on here!  Thank you for your reassurance that this can be a beautiful story.  I am having so many doubts, questions, and challenges right now.  There are lots of changes taking place, and I am unsure of how to step into them. This is all fairly new to me still.  Thank you for any support/advice that you are able to offer.

With love,
Amy 

[Moonflower]

@Moonflower

Hi Moonflower,

I am so glad that you are here and that you are able to be back on the forum.

I'm glad to be back and glad to feel safe speaking out again.

I am so sorry for all that you and your wife have had to go through.  Having to go into hiding had to be so difficult for you both.  I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must have been by the need for help.  That is such a big change for both of you.  I am so glad that you found help and had some amazing people rally around you to make your move possible.

We're continuing to find that asking for help is putting us in touch with amazing people, as extraordinarily nice people put us in touch with other extraordinarily nice people. We're also finding people who offer help but have ulterior motives. They show their intentions quickly, of course, with their own impatience.

It is my sincere hope that you both are settling in well in your new home.  It must have been so difficult to have to uproot where you were and leave everything behind.

🥰🥰

It is good to hear that you and your wife are in a much better, safer place now.  I can't wait for you to share your stories about what you are finding there. 

We had coffee with someone who translated for a conference a few years ago when trans women wanted access to the local women's hospital. She said that she learned a lot there. The trans women won. The local women's rights initiative now advocates for trans women, and the country's people recognize the need to do more to support trans rights. Increasing access to hormone therapy for all women is now in progress.

I am glad that you have your beautiful memories of where you were.

We do. I enjoy putting my mind back at our home, hearing the wildlife, feeling the furniture and blankets and clothing, savoring the foods that we haven't found here, enjoying results of our craftsmanship, using the equipment and tools that we left behind. As much as I enjoyed all of that, I'd rather have the peace and adventure of being here. I'm sure that you and your spouse will experience something similar at some point during your transition journey. You are both clearly on your way together.

I noticed that your story here begins at the time when our escape began. Our local law enforcement was (and is) facilitating ICE raids. We had a taste of the luxury of believing that we were safe for one year as my wife changed her identity documents. Then, the fear of being trapped in the wrong identity was unbearable for both of us.

I am so thrilled that you are back online Moonflower!  I look forward to connecting with you more on here!  Thank you for your reassurance that this can be a beautiful story.  I am having so many doubts, questions, and challenges right now.  There are lots of changes taking place, and I am unsure of how to step into them. This is all fairly new to me still.  Thank you for any support/advice that you are able to offer.

With love,
Amy 

And much love to you ❤️ ❤️

[Mariah ✅]

It is wonderful to see you back here. Hugs
Mariah

[Susan ✅]

Make sure you drop in and check out Pugs4Life's thread in the "Our Journeys" forum, She can use more Significant other support.

[Pugs4life]

Hi Moonflower,

It is so important that you feel safe and I am really glad to hear that you feel safe to be able to speak out again.  So many others are able to glean wisdom from what you and your wife have experienced together. 

How wonderful that you are continuing to find people to come along side of you both and offer help to you.  I am sorry for the ones that offer help but have ulterior motives.  That can be difficult to deal with. 

Memories can be such a wonderful thing to have and to hold onto.  I hope those beautiful memories can carry you both through the harder days. 

My spouse and I are in the beginning stages of this transition journey.  So much is still so new to me and the changes are proving to be difficult for me. 

How scary that your local law enforcement was and is facilitating ICE raids.  I can't imagine what that must have been like for you and your spouse to  have to experience that and experience going into hiding.  I am really glad to know that you are both in a much safer, peaceful  place now. 

I look forward to interacting with you and connecting with you on here.  I am so glad to have met you.

With love,
Amy