Had a consultation with a gender therapist today

[Alana1990]

I had a phone consultation with a gender therapist today. I felt such relief talking to somebody about being transgender. I'm hoping to have an appointment next week. I'm a bit unsure how all of it will go, but I'm thrilled to talk to a professional about it.
What should I expect to be asked?

[LoriDee]

Every therapist will have their own approach. Some will ask you questions, some will have you ask them questions you have. I wouldn't worry about it. It will start as a bunch of small talk so you two can get to know each other. That helps you trust them with whatever you want to tell them, and it helps them understand you. It is an important process that helps remove barriers and misunderstandings. You may not even get into any deep discussions right away, not until you are comfortable talking with them.

I am truly happy that you have someone to talk to, someone who can understand and help you on your journey.

[Jenn104]

Not all patients approach therapy the same either. You can be as active in determining the direction of things as your therapist, if not more. I always have a list when I go. Even at my earliest sessions I brought my own questions. That's my thing-- you'll find what works for you.

Best of luck at it --

~Jenn

[imallie]

That's great Alana! Glad you took the leap.

Remember though... patient/therapist is very much a relationship. So even if someone has a wonderful reputation as a therapist, if after a few sessions (or several) you really don't feel you're connecting with them, you need to advocate for yourself and find someone else.

But if you feel comfortable with this person, and you feel the sessions are productive? Then you're on your way!

Good luck!!!!!

Love,
Allie

[Moonflower]

So even if someone has a wonderful reputation as a therapist, if after a few sessions (or several) you really don't feel you're connecting with them, you need to advocate for yourself and find someone else.

Also, be aware that some therapists have a short shelf life: some will only expect to meet with you a few times. I have found gems in their toolboxes and then moved on. On the other hand, some stick with their clients for decades.

[Sarah B]

Hi Alana

Yes, 'psychiatrist's' will have their own approach.  Long story short, I never told them very much about me and they hardly asked me any questions about me as well.  I was a very private, quite and shy person at the time and I heard or read that 'therapists' could and would play games with you or in other words they would 'gate keep you'.

So in a sense I never formed a relationship with them and I was only there for one thing and that was to get my surgery letters.  You might ask why was there not much interaction between them and me and you will not be the first or last to do so.

I guess it boils down to what they saw.  All they saw was a women, she had a job, was working full time, had realistic expectations and had her head screwed on properly.  So I assume from that, that was why I got my surgery letters.

Did I need the 'psychiatrist's' no, I would have had the surgery the next day when I arrived in Sydney and I still would not have regretted what I had done.  In fact I don't think I have really mentioned in my posts that I had my surgery letters within 13 months, although one could work that out.

In one of those surgery letters it basically says I would have to wait about another 9 months before I could have my surgery.  I did ask my first psychiatrist could I have it now, but no I had to wait and I was annoyed to say the least.

So to answer your questions, as others have said the first appointment will be a meet and greet, in other words both of you will get to know one and another.  Mine as far as I know was basically the same.

What should I expect to be asked?  Well I guess the answer to this would be "why are you here?" and of course only you know that answer to that questions and what do you want from talking to the gender therapist.

I hope things go well with your appointment.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

[Alana1990]

Hi Sarah B,

I'm excited, and apprehensive to finally talk to a professional about being transgender. My dysphoria is a minor inconvenience to me at this point. I'm just slightly uncomfortable being male. Gender envy is a bigger issue for me. As appealing as transiting is to me, it would cause far more problems for me than it would solve. I have a very comfortable life, and don't want to go messing around with it. I hope that makes sense.

Hi Alana

Yes, 'therapist's' will have their own approach.  Long story short, I never told them very much about me and they hardly asked me any questions about me as well.  I was a very private, quite and shy person at the time and I heard or read that 'therapists' could and would play games with you or in other words they would 'gate keep you'.

So in a sense I never formed a relationship with them and I was only there for one thing and that was to get my surgery letters.  You might ask why was there not much interaction between them and me and you will not be the first or last to do so.

I guess it boils down to what they saw.  All they saw was a women, she had a job, was working full time, had realistic expectations and had her head screwed on properly.  So I assume from that, that was why I got my surgery letters.

Did I need the 'psychiatrist's' no, I would have had the surgery the next day when I arrived in Sydney and I still would not have regretted what I had done.  In fact I don't think I have really mentioned in my posts that I had my surgery letters within 13 months, although one could work that out.

In one of those surgery letters it basically says I would have to wait about another 9 months before I could have my surgery.  I did ask my first psychiatrist could I have it now, but no I had to wait and I was annoyed to say the least.

So to answer your questions, as others have said the first appointment will be a meet and greet, in other words both of you will get to know one and another.  Mine as far as I know was basically the same.

What should I expect to be asked?  Well I guess the answer to this would be "why are you here?" and of course only you know that answer to that question and what do you want from talking to the gender therapist.

I hope things go well with your appointment.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

Hi Alana

Yes, 'therapist's' will have their own approach.  Long story short, I never told them very much about me and they hardly asked me any questions about me as well.  I was a very private, quite and shy person at the time and I heard or read that 'therapists' could and would play games with you or in other words they would 'gate keep you'.

So in a sense I never formed a relationship with them and I was only there for one thing and that was to get my surgery letters.  You might ask why was there not much interaction between them and me and you will not be the first or last to do so.

I guess it boils down to what they saw.  All they saw was a women, she had a job, was working full time, had realistic expectations and had her head screwed on properly.  So I assume from that, that was why I got my surgery letters.

Did I need the 'psychiatrist's' no, I would have had the surgery the next day when I arrived in Sydney and I still would not have regretted what I had done.  In fact I don't think I have really mentioned in my posts that I had my surgery letters within 13 months, although one could work that out.

In one of those surgery letters it basically says I would have to wait about another 9 months before I could have my surgery.  I did ask my first psychiatrist could I have it now, but no I had to wait and I was annoyed to say the least.

So to answer your questions, as others have said the first appointment will be a meet and greet, in other words both of you will get to know one and another.  Mine as far as I know was basically the same.

What should I expect to be asked?  Well I guess the answer to this would be "why are you here?" and of course only you know that answer to that question and what do you want from talking to the gender therapist.

I hope things go well with your appointment.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

[LoriDee]

That makes perfect sense, Alana. The therapist can help answer your questions about that and even offer support as you encounter various obstacles. Remember that everyone transitions at their own pace. For some, that means no transition at all. Only you know what is best for you.

[tgirlamg]

Hi Alana!

Yes, full transition is far from the only answer when it comes to making your life one that is more livable and gives voice to your feelings... there are many avenues that can bring you there. Keep talking with therapists and engaging in self honesty and exploration... In the end, your answers will be more based around the question of "what do I need to make my life the one I want?" Rather than what label to apply to yourself!

All good things to you as you find your way to your answers sister!

Onward!

Ashley 😀💕🌻

[ChrissyRyan]

Be honest, ask questions, have a good mindset when having a session.  Seeking clarity is important as is seeking knowledge.  In fact, getting clarity for yourself is most helpful.
We are all different too.

Chrissy

[Sarah B]

Hi Alana

You wrote in a reply to me:

Hi Sarah B,

I'm excited, and apprehensive to finally talk to a professional about being transgender. My dysphoria is a minor inconvenience to me at this point. I'm just slightly uncomfortable being male. Gender envy is a bigger issue for me. As appealing as transiting is to me, it would cause far more problems for me than it would solve. I have a very comfortable life, and don't want to go messing around with it. I hope that makes sense.

Thank you sharing your story it was really appreciated.  I understand where you are coming from and there is nothing wrong with that.  I was never uncomfortable with my body before I changed my life around, the only thing was that I wanted or longed to be a female.

As for gender envy, I'm just another female and there are always going to be other females that I will admire and desire that I have some of their features, long hair, facial features, color of the eyes and of course the body features.  This is just normal attribute of being a human!

Hormones and surgery can only achieve so much and there is nothing wrong going down this path to achieve those characteristics as long as it makes you happy.  Just one thing, to note, don't allow 'gender envy to become an obsession'.  It could become very unhealthy to do so.

I understand that you don't want to go messing around with ones life.  I have been there, I had a good job, I had wonderful friends and of course family life as well.   I was widely known around town for my swimming exploits and my mum was also widely known.  However, several things were coming to a head, that were going to change my life completely forever.

Although at the time that I changed my life around, I did not realise that I was sacrificing my way of life, regardless of what problems it would cause around me.  My happiness, not that I knew at the time was more important to me and that I wanted and longed to be a female, well I certainly took care of that problem by having surgery.

So I packed up my bags and left everything behind and nobody knew what I was going to do.  In the end I achieved far more in the next 35 years than I did in the previous 30 years before and to top it off my family accepted me for who I am, unconditionally.  You could say I gambled every and I was prepared to lose everything, however I was extremely lucky and I have been very successful in everything I did since I changed my life around.

Take care and whatever you decide to do with your life as long as it makes you happy then go for it and we here at Susan's will support you no matter what you do.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@Alana1990
PS  I have deleted the double post, how that happened I do not know, it must be the gremlins in my computer system.

[Robbyv213]

I had my first session a few months ago and I guess the biggest piece of advice is just go into it with an open mind and it might be a bit embarrassing but the more you can share and be open and honest about yourself including embarrassing things that you would never tell anybody ever it will only help the process it'll only help them understand you better as an individual person for them to make the best diagnosis possible.

Luckily for me my therapist is very well versed in the community and has seen and dealt with a lot of different topics and individuals. And I guess the biggest thing is don't lie or make it seem like things are better than their actually are cuz that will only prolong the process take more time and depending on your insurance or if you're paying out of pocket cost you more money in the long run.

A good therapist will kind of push your limits to see what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with to make forward movement and progress even if it's small things or even if it's trying to get you to have uncomfortable conversations with your family or friends for me it's forcing me to have conversations with my wife whereas we would both like to just ignore the elephant in the room and not deal with it but we all know how that would work out in the long run.

But yes definitely just go into it with an open mind and share as much as you can as comfortable as you can the more you share the more you'll probably become comfortable and develop a relationship with your therapist but again don't be afraid to move on and find someone else if you feel that you guys are not vibing

[Alana1990]

@Robbyv213, I have two appointments with two different therapists. One of them is transgender, so I'm hoping she might understand a bit more what I'm feeling. My mind has been a bit clearer now that I've made the appointments, and had a brief chat with one of them. I'm very excited to finally talk to someone about this.

I had my first session a few months ago and I guess the biggest piece of advice is just go into it with an open mind and it might be a bit embarrassing but the more you can share and be open and honest about yourself including embarrassing things that you would never tell anybody ever it will only help the process it'll only help them understand you better as an individual person for them to make the best diagnosis possible.

Luckily for me my therapist is very well versed in the community and has seen and dealt with a lot of different topics and individuals. And I guess the biggest thing is don't lie or make it seem like things are better than their actually are cuz that will only prolong the process take more time and depending on your insurance or if you're paying out of pocket cost you more money in the long run.

A good therapist will kind of push your limits to see what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with to make forward movement and progress even if it's small things or even if it's trying to get you to have uncomfortable conversations with your family or friends for me it's forcing me to have conversations with my wife whereas we would both like to just ignore the elephant in the room and not deal with it but we all know how that would work out in the long run.

But yes definitely just go into it with an open mind and share as much as you can as comfortable as you can the more you share the more you'll probably become comfortable and develop a relationship with your therapist but again don't be afraid to move on and find someone else if you feel that you guys are not vibing

[Alana1990]

@tgirlamg,
I have to be honest, I've been thinking so much since I had the consultation. I don't want to transition, but I wouldn't be against taking hormones if I was able to be prescribed them.

Hi Alana!

Yes, full transition is far from the only answer when it comes to making your life one that is more livable and gives voice to your feelings... there are many avenues that can bring you there. Keep talking with therapists and engaging in self honesty and exploration... In the end, your answers will be more based around the question of "what do I need to make my life the one I want?" Rather than what label to apply to yourself!

All good things to you as you find your way to your answers sister!

Onward!

Ashley 😀💕🌻

[tgirlamg]

@tgirlamg,
I have to be honest, I've been thinking so much since I had the consultation. I don't want to transition, but I wouldn't be against taking hormones if I was able to be prescribed them.

Hey Alana!

Many find peace with that step alone... it can be easy in the beginning to view the  affects of HRT mostly in terms of the physical changes they bring but, the mental changes, including the way we process emotions can be even more profound... for me it was as if my mind was finally burning the right fuel and that most of my life had been spent seeing the world in black and white... and then finally, experiencing the full range of colors... or perhaps living somewhere without much change in the seasons and then moving somewhere where each season displays its full glory... keep asking questions of yourself and others... you will find your way!!!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 😀💕🌻

[Robbyv213]

Yes. A good therapist will be able to discover if you really have a gender diaphoretic issue or something else. There are a lot of non binary treatment options as well. Also even if ultimately your therapist says they believe you to be trans doesn't mean you have to transition either. There are so many different options and levels of transition. Some are just happy to change pronouns and socially transition. Some just take hrt, others go for everything under the sun. It's what best suits your needs. Basically the very min that they can do to relieve your symptoms, and what you can tolerate. That's different for everyone.

So it's very possible that you can be prescribed HRT and not transition. But being on HRT (from what I've read, as well as anything else that promotes female hormones) over the long period of time does seem to be wire your brain. And you might eventually feel you need to do more in transition than. Before when you started.

[ChrissyRyan]

I went to see my gender therapist this week.  It was helpful.  A lot is on my mind.

My sweetie and I talked about our relationship a number of times this month. 
Commitment as a couple was a topic that continued in our discussions. Plus my transitioning.

Did I say that a lot is on my mind?

Chrissy