Life Of Michelle K

[Lori Dee ✅]

My black cat earrings are from the black cats that were on the bottles of black cat wine. Weekends in the barracks in Germany consisted of a pizza and black cat wine from the food truck.

I remember those cats! I had several of them in a junk drawer for many years. Glad you found a use for them.

[Michelle_K]

Watching a video that suggested my throat pain may be psychological. From something that was taught by narcissist parents when I was a child. A reminder that I was taught not to say anything bad about people.
Directly, don't tell anyone you have abusive parents. It makes therapy difficult if my throat acts up when trying to tell about the trauma that was done to me. I know I dissociate in my writings.

Just had a weird thought, I don't recall ever hearing about my dad getting his fingers smashed until after my wash machine wringer incident. He didn't know it was me and made a joke about me forcing someone else's fingers into the wringer.

I missed the pride event in the neighboring town on Friday. Somehow I just feel like I don't belong. I may be sabotaging myself, as my car needed a new battery and I didn't get one until Saturday. That was besides checking my clock and realizing the dinner was over.

20-30 years ago, I put a monarch butterfly patch on my shirt. The patch represents my transformation to my true self, it is on a woman's shirt. I bought yin-yang earring to represent the duality of my being. And a unicorn necklace to represent the rarity of my condition. Last year I bought a intersex flag pin for my lapel. One of these days I might find the courage to put the intersex pin on my jacket lapel while shopping.
Only one of my three shirts got the patch put on. Two of the three shirts now have purple buttons.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I finally got out again to walk to the post office. Two hours prior, I had used my nebulizer for lung medication. That is a mile walk total, and I didn't feel out of breath. No other pains either.

I have a few Lego trains, with some small pieces missing. I've been looking for boxes that might have what I'm looking for. I did find a box of Lego models from the Lego Space police and aqua that will need to be put back together. It looks like I will have to order replacement parts, but the instructions don't give the part numbers.
Michelle

[Lori Dee ✅]

I finally got out again to walk to the post office. Two hours prior, I had used my nebulizer for lung medication. That is a mile walk total, and I didn't feel out of breath. No other pains either.

Hi Michelle!

Glad to hear you are healthy and doing well. That is always a wonderful thing!

[Pema]

That's great that you were able to walk to the post office and back without breathing difficulty or pain. Those are always good signs.

[Michelle_K]

I had meant to post days ago, but felt it was not that important. Some of my symptoms I have had since childhood. My parents treated them as not important. Sometimes I wonder if there might have been some secret that might have been exposed if I had gone to the doctor. Had I not been in the military when I got my appendicitis, I'm sure I would have died. I was told my appendix had ruptured while I was on the operating table. Had I been home, my parents would have ignored my pain.
I was assigned male at birth, the male parts are obvious. I was sure that I read in my army medical records, that the doctor that performed the appendectomy observed a healthy ovary. I've tried to get my medical records to confirm that I'm remembering it right. It was years later telling a therapist that I felt like I had been sexually changed at birth, and was told that it never happens, there was no discussion. Even a medical doctor told me it never happens. I've probably written most of this before.

I have an appointment with the urologist in a couple days. Wondering if she is going to insist on a digital prostate exam. I declined the last time she asked, that was prior to the MRI that revealed the bladder stone. If I remember right, the last time I got a digital prostate exam, the doctor remarked that something was getting in the way, making it difficult to find my prostate.
Michelle

[Lori Dee ✅]

I have an appointment with the urologist in a couple days. Wondering if she is going to insist on a digital prostate exam. I declined the last time she asked, that was prior to the MRI that revealed the bladder stone. If I remember right, the last time I got a digital prostate exam, the doctor remarked that something was getting in the way, making it difficult to find my prostate.

I haven't had a digital exam since 1990. Unless there are symptoms and/or a sharp increase in PSA levels, there is no reason to do one. And most doctors would prefer not to. It is just as embarrassing for them as for you, but they try to remain professional about it if it is necessary.

If there was some type of alteration to your sex at or after birth, your urologist would be able to tell that something is different. That would be the right person to talk to about it.

[Michelle_K]

My previous post went way off. Thinking about EDS symptoms that I have had since childhood, dismissed as growing pains.
It has been 50 years since I tried to ice skate, each time ending up with severe arch pain. I found my ice skates in the storage trailer and brought them to the house to check out. My ice skates are missing the insole. Knowing my dad, he would have gotten them from the salvation army. I'm thinking the arch supports were missing when he bought them. Since they have not been used in 50 years, the leather may need to be reconditioned, and they would have shrunk over that time. The leather in the roller skates will also need to be reconditioned and stretched.
With the boots properly fitted, they should give proper arch support and ankle support. Bad arches and ankles are symptoms of EDS.
I was at a point a couple day ago, not knowing if my hip was out of place or if the pain was from the hernia surgery. Walking hurt a bit until I felt a pop, and then the pain eased up. I figured my hip popped back into place.

This ADHD had some of my thoughts disappear before I had a chance to write them down. Now I'm finding autism symptoms are shared with EDS, or maybe I understood wrong, that EDS increases the likelihood of autism.

I think I was trying to say that due to the way I was treated as a child, I am very hesitant about bringing some of this up to discuss with a doctor.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

Just got back from my walk. I cut it short due to an occasional rain drop. I had planned on a 2 mile walk, but shortened it to a trip to the post office. I picked up replacement bobbins that I had ordered for my sewing machine. I discovered that I had wrong bobbins after changing thread in my sewing machine, and it started jamming up. Contrary to what was said on the you-tube video, my machine can use plastic or metal bobbins as long as both are class 66. The wrong bobbins for my machine are class 15.
So now I have a project of transferring the thread from the wrong bobbins to the proper bobbins.

Thinking about cookies, I got to thinking about the cookie press that I had when I was younger. My dad decided I should let him loan it to the wife of his brother-in-law. When she tried to return it, my dad told her to keep it as a gift.
I found some pre-made Christmas cookies in the store. They do need to be baked first, although the package says safe to eat raw. Add to my projects, bake Christmas cookies.
Sometimes some of this stuff doesn't make sense. For instance, even though my birth certificate states male, my mother decided I should learn to bake for 4-H. So I have ribbons for my cookies exhibited at the county fair while I was in 4-H. Back then I did a lot of helping in the kitchen. Boxed cake mixes were not used, so I have experience making cookies and cakes from scratch.
Just a thought that I might be able to use a cake mix in my mini donut maker.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

Getting my paperwork ready for tomorrow. `There is a photo of the bladder stone after removal. the results from the bladder scan prior to removal of the catheter, with a couple of concerns. And a few concerns about kidney lesion showed on the abdominal CT. The urologist might want to check my bladder scar.

I read someplace about the difficulty of doing a digital prostate exam to a transgender woman after bottom surgery. It gave me something to think about
I'll probably now go watch some funny cat videos, to get this stuff off my mind so I get to sleep faster.
Michelle 

[Lori Dee ✅]

I'll probably now go watch some funny cat videos, to get this stuff off my mind so I get to sleep faster.

I love this!

🤣

[Michelle_K]

Growing up, my cousin I was with most was a girl, and she was left handed. When she stayed for meals, she would sit on my right side. With her eating with her left and me eating with my right, we banged elbows. There is a way to hold eating utensils that does keep the elbow to the side. My mother was strict about proper table manners including about which hand the eating utensils were in. Except my cousin was allowed to eat with her left hand. To me that meant girls are allowed to be left handed. I was forced by my mother to be right handed, with the threat of violence.

Wondering how much my dad did in respect to being right handed. Something in the back of my mind about holding the toy car the proper way, and of course the proper way to hold a hammer. When he wasn't around, likely I pushed the toy car around with my left hand.

Part of becoming my true self was to eat with my left hand. For once I could eat without stabbing my cheek with the fork. As for writing with my left hand, I don't know how much I would have to relearn, although occasionally I might try. I do pick up my pen with my left hand and then need to transfer it to my right hand. As it is now, I can hold my fork in my left and my pen in my right, and write at the same time as I am eating.

I saw some complaints about problems the right-handers had about the left handed women's shirts. About the same complaints I had about the right handed men's shirts.

Thinking about 100 years ago left handed people were punished for being left handed, just wondering if the government might go so far as banning left handed people.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I've been meaning to write, but got busy with doing some projects. Mostly Lego stuff, gathering it up into one location. Finding Lego Mindstorm that slipped my mind in the back of a closet. Inventorying my Lego trains, I am missing a few train cars and some track, and a few other pieces.
Trying to find the building instructions it seems a lot of the older ones I need to have the set number. Then I can download the instructions in PDF format.
Watching Lego train videos, someone mentioned the Bricklink studio, where I can assemble virtual Lego items. So, I followed along with a video building custom novelty train cars, by building it in the Bricklink studio. Of course I need to stop the video while building, and then loose track of time.
One creator showed how to replace the wires on the connectors for the Lego electrical connections, and explained how the insulation deteriorates over time. Checking my own wire cables, I found that a few are to the point of shorting out. Lego no longer makes those cords, so owners want half a fortune for what they have, even if the wire is bad.

I've got to go, I need to deliver a payment for my storage unit, and check my unit for Lego stuff.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I found a Sterilite container that I thought were Lego. Turns out the Minions and Monster High are Mega Bloks. According to instructions that were in the container, I have three sets of Lego Friends.
I do have Lego Bionicles in a box on the porch.
I stopped at a store on my way back, and checked the Legos, The only train was Hogwarts Express. It looked very cheep. The Diagon alley Wizarding shops weren't bad, but seemed high priced.
I bought my Hogwarts Express years ago and converted it to run on the train rails.
I'm thinking about setting up some track upstairs and just running a few trains around.
Michelle

[Lori Dee ✅]

I'm thinking about setting up some track upstairs and just running a few trains around.

My grandfather did that (mother's father). He had a huge HO scale set. The tracks ran on a shelf that went all the way around the room. In one corner, he had a city with a railyard, a lumber mill, a river with a park, and a downtown area with lights. It was quite impressive.

He also built a train powered by a lawnmower engine that we kids could ride on. He used the flat car and an empty coal car to haul firewood from the back of his property. When he passed away, the train, trestle, and tracks were all sold. But the caboose he had made was placed in the local museum. I hope to someday visit the town of Northeast, PA (near Erie), and see if the caboose is still there. I would love to get pictures of it.

[Michelle_K]

I've been working on this idea for awhile.


I'm still trying to figure out how to my driver.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I've had Lego on my mind a lot lately. I've been redoing a few of my Lego train coaches, to make the taller, to match the height of the western coaches.



I've done the two end coaches, need to do the center coach yet. The center coach was built to the instructions that came with the train set. It may be that I couldn't enjoy the trains before, was due to them not looking realistic, plus the pain of gender dysphoria.
Michelle

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

    @Michelle_K

Dear Michelle:
Very nice work on the Lego coaches.  Did you build them on a
Flatcar that had the trucks and couplers built-in or did you add them later???
   
            "HO" gauge? or "O" gauge?

Again, very nice work... thank you for sharing the photos of your creative work.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

[Michelle_K]

Lego has their own tracks, Called L-gauge (for Lego), slightly wider than O gauge. My coaches are made from Lego bricks and plates. Those cars use the Lego drop center train plates. The trucks and magnetic couplers are Lego. Watching the Lego train conventions, I see they are using Kadee O scale couplers.

I had been wondering if I could get O scale cars and swap the trucks for the Lego track. I had the O27 as a child and I guess the Lego coaches were a different height and looked wrong.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

Going through the cupboards, I found a box of brownie mix that I had bought. At the time my stove didn't work and I was unable to bake the brownies. Today, I had almost everything needed, and decided to take some things to my storage unit and pick up what I needed on my way back. Before leaving I checked to be sure I had the key to the storage unit. I couldn't find the key, on the same ring as the truck keys. Finally found the keys in the bottom of another pocket in my purse. I dropped the keys into the proper pocket in my purse and headed to my storage unit in my car. At the storage unit, I couldn't find the key. Decided to return home, stopping at a store to get a cooling rack and a couple of spatulas.
Back home I searched for the keys, thinking maybe I dropped them outside the purse. Thinking about the time I lost my phone and found it shoveling snow behind my truck, decided to check outside. The keys were behind my car poking through my wheel track.
 Finally got my brownies made, in papers in a muffin pan. They look like chocolate cupcakes.

Thinking about some of this stuff, I lost one pearl earring once. When I realized it was missing I thought I would never find it. I found it in my shirt pocket.
Michelle