Watching the narcissism videos, trying to understand what was going on when I was a child. Learning that to the narcissist parent, perfection was not good enough. When there were things to be done, there were two ways to do them, his way and the wrong way. His way yesterday is not his way today.
transphobic ideas can be subtle, My dads remark about me putting on a dress and going into the women's rest room to spy on the women. This after watching a peeping Tom movie, where a guy dresses as a woman to get into a nudest camp.
My dad even made remarks about shooting his own child if they turned out gay. This from a man wearing a badge, who shot his own dog in anger.
Any complaints about pain I had, were countered with being told to quit faking it to get out of doing work. Surprising that is a tactic of a person using a fake injury to get out of doing work. My sister on the other hand gets immediate medical attention.
When chopping holes in ice on the river to water the cows, I had slipped and nearly chopped my toe off. I got a lecture about self mutilation to get out of doing work. No trip to the doctor, just bandage it up so I can get back to work.
Growing up, Work was more important than me seeing a doctor about my back pain. I now have arthritis in my lower back. 40 years ago I was diagnosed with arthritis in my back, I put up with the pain at work. Now I find out it is part of a whole batch of symptoms. And still I hesitate about seeing a doctor.
Michelle
