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Lauren's Lair: Here be dragons...

Started by Sephirah, May 27, 2025, 04:16:37 PM

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KathyLauren

2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate

big kim


Pema

Lauren! Happy birthday! Wishing you a wonderful day.

Love,
Pema
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

tgirlamg

❤️🎂🎁🎊🎉🎉🎉💕HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER!!!💕🎉🎉🎉🎊🎁🎂❤️
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻

Sephirah

Thank you very much. I love you all. <3

It was quiet today. Which... I am not a big birthday person. So I will take that. Went out and got some fresh air since it wasn't raining. There's something about the countryside which is mildly intoxicating. Especially this time of year when it's cool, the leaves are all falling from the trees, and the world just feels like it's about to hold its breath. It's... really nice.

I got myself a wagyu steak because... reasons. Had it with some salad and it was lovely.

*massive hugs to everyone* Y'all are the family I always wanted. Thank you for being you. <3
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Sarah B

Hi Lauren

Why are you not rousing upon me in regards to what is happening to you, you will have to come down here and give me a swift kick up the backside, not that it will make any difference because as you know, Aussies are tough Shelia's.

I hope your trip to the hospital was not as crappy as you mentioned and if it was here is a delayed hug for you.  I hope your visit to the hospital went well.  I rarely give hugs out, but in this case I will make an exception.  Us Aussie sometimes show a softer side of our nature.


Then when I turn around you are having a birthday celebration without me, "Not Happy Jan"  So here is a belated (might not be, time difference) birthday greeting from an Aussie Shelia that keeps an eye open for you.


❤️🎂🎁🎊🎉🎉🎉💕💕🎉🎉🎉🎊🎁🎂❤️

Congratulations on Another
Birthday

❤️🎂🎁🎊🎉🎉🎉💕💕🎉🎉🎉🎊🎁🎂❤️

May all your dreams and wishes come true.


You do realize that when you said, "I am tougher than a piece of alligator jerky " that a "Drop Bear" is tougher than "alligator jerky" and I'm tougher than a Drop Bear".  I do however have a real soft side for you!  A Drop Bear is a large, carnivorous, koala-like predator that drops from trees onto tourists and then proceed to eat them.  Australians commonly tell Drop Bear stories to tourists to scare the living daylights out of them.

As for the"bud light" issue, we don't do those American beers down under here either, as they are as weak as Nats (read mosquitoes) Wee.  Don't let those Americans catch on that we drink much stronger stuff.

As you go out into the wild blue yonder, I know you will grow stronger by the day and when the time comes.  I will certainly take you by the hand and we will go "Walkabout" into the Australian bush and you will most certainly broaden your horizons.

Well my pommy friend from up over, take care, I hope you had a wonderful birthday and I hope you had a smile on your face.

Lots of Love and Hugs always.
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.

Emma1017


Lauren, I am so sorry to be late to your birthday party!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAUREN!!!


With warmest and biggest hugs,

Emma


Sephirah

Haha, Sarah, I am really not a birthday person. I don't tend to make a fuss, honestly. Especially the older I get.

One day I hope to come down there and give you a giant hug, to say thank you for being my friend. You are someone who is extremely loyal, and warm, and kind. I think you are only a tough Aussie Sheila on the outside. Inside you're very gentle and loving and tender. You just don't often show it, other than to people who have earned your trust. :)

The time difference IS weird. You are like in the future from almost everyone else. Do you have hover boards down in Oz? ;)

Better late than never, Emma. Thank you sweetie. I am terrible at being here for birthdays of people I care about so don't even worry about it, honey.

I love you both. <3
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Sephirah

I've had an... interesting few weeks.

I died. Technically. For two minutes. I had a pretty serious heart attack. Because apparently life wasn't content with all the other stuff I have to deal with. Spent more time in hospital.

Yay.

I kind of hate those places. Not the people... they are all legends. But just... ugh. I will say... when they say you can live a lifetime in a second, that's kind of true. It was weird. Took me a little while to adjust to being... uh.. back? I can't describe it. I am not religious, I put it down to an overload of sensory information in the brain when it thinks it's going to stop working. But it was... weird. Very weird.

I am alive. Not really okay, but I'm still here. Very weak at the moment. But nothing I can't deal with. :)
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Jessica_Rose

I think I can speak for many people at Susan's, we missed you.

We're glad you're still with us, and we hope you can get your strength back. Rest, and enjoy being taken care of for a while.

Love always -- Jess
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

Sephirah

Thanks, Jess.

No, I am back on my lonesome now haha. NHS and all that. I was taking up a bed. ;D Medication and asta la vista, baby. But that's okay. I missed some of my school stuff but the folks were understanding and I will be able to make it up. Well, in the new year.

I kind of figured it would happen eventually, though. My mum died of a heart attack and I've had so many surgeries just to stay here that my heart had more and more strain through repeated anaesthetic and... well... duct tape, lol. It was kind of inevitable. Not fun, though.

But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you hallucinate some very weird stuff. Or something like that. ;D It's all good. :)
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Lori Dee

So glad to hear from you!

Know that this place, its energy, its love, its members and staff, your friends and family are sending you healing thoughts and good vibes. Soak it in, rest up, and be with us when you can.

We love you.

Hugs!

My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

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Sephirah

Thank you, Lori. I love you all, too. <3

It'll be okay. Life is like a rollercoaster. You think it's going to be exciting... then it's a mix of absolute joy, absolute terror, and wanting to throw up. Then you get off. ;D

If I ever eat another hospital boiled potato ever again, though, you have my permission to shoot me.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

tgirlamg

Sephirah!

Glad you are back in this reality beautiful sister!... NHS doesn't sound like a very humane organization... 😐 Take your time, rest and get strong... If you every want to share what you experienced a bit more after you have time to reflect, I would love to hear more but, if you just want to let it all go... that is fine too!... Know that you are Loved and a whole lotta folks you have never even met in person want all the best for you... many of them you have helped in huge ways with your wisdom and compassion... 🌻

Blessings, Healing and Lotsa Love Girl!!!

Ashley 💕

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻

Sephirah

Love you, Ash.

When I can organise it all, I will try. But it's hard to put into words. It's like trying to hold onto smoke.

The NHS does what it can. And I can't fault the people who work there. They are massively overworked and underpaid. That I'm still here is probably testament to folks going above and beyond. Socialised medicine is good in theory, and mostly okay in practice. If someone needed the bed because they hit their head on a toilet after 10 pints, I'm okay with that, lol.

I will say... I got to say some stuff to people I thought I never would. People I lost in my life. That I never got the chance to. And it was extremely emotional. I am about 80% convinced it was all in my head, but if it wasn't... I don't even know. It was all... surreal. Like one of those made-for-TV movies.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Pema

Lauren, that all sounds terrifying. I'm very glad you're still with us.

I know it's not over, so I hope you have some support to help you get the rest of the way there.

Please know that we're here thinking of you and sending healing vibes your way.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sephirah

Thank you, Pema.

Honestly, I've been through worse... I think. Possibly. I don't know about terrifying. There was a little tiny part of me that was like "finally".

I can't transition, like most of you girls. Mostly because I'm so messed up. I have to fight for the right to be me basically every day and often end up feeling really bad trying to assert who I am onto other people because I am so broken I can't do anything about it. Trust me I've tried.

Before I say anything else... Danielle, or any of the mods... is there an SMF tag for trigger warnings? Like spoiler tags so that people don't have to see it if they don't expand the tags?

Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

tgirlamg

I Love You Too Lauren!... You Are A Blessing To The World... 🌻

A💕
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻

Sarah B

My Dearest Lauren

I wondered where you had gone. You know I suffer when I do not hear from you for a while. Seeing your name pop up again is such a relief. I am so relieved and happy that you are still here.

Jess, Lori and Ash have already put it so beautifully. There is a whole lot of love wrapped around you here. Please soak it in while you rest and get your strength back. Hospital roller coasters and boiled potatoes are quite enough excitement for one year I think.

I used to eat hospital food and airplane food with no problem but when I was looking after my mum I noticed the degradation in the quality of hospital food so I really commiserate with you on that one. You are right the food would have killed you off if you had not got out sooner.

You know we have a couple of dates planned for the future. I am keeping those firmly on the calendar so you are not allowed to check out on us just yet.

As Ash said it would be lovely to hear a little more about what you experienced if it ever feels alright for you to share. If it is one of those things that slips away like smoke that is okay too. The important part is that you are still here with us.

For now I am just very glad that your stubborn heart decided to stick around. You are precious, you are loved, take care of yourself please, you are needed here and especially in my heart.

Best Wishes Always
Lots of Love Sarah B
@Sephirah
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.

Sephirah

Quote from: tgirlamg on December 06, 2025, 09:09:33 PMI Love You Too Lauren!... You Are A Blessing To The World... 🌻

A💕


You are. Many of you here are. You are inspirational to me. Ash, you are gorgeous. You can always tell by someone's smile.

And... I retract what I may have said in the past. Ash... you and Sarah B... you make bangs look so beautiful. They are not for me but you girls rock them! <3

Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3