Alana's Journey

[ChrissyRyan]

I got home from work last night and was reading a book, and something about me just felt different. Maybe it's my energy, Maybe I finally feel like my true self. I just can't find the correct words to express it. 

You will have many times of elation during your transition journey.  Savor them.

[Alana Ashleigh]

You will have many times of elation during your transition journey.  Savor them.

Chrissy,
I'm very much enjoying this. It feels surreal to see the changes in mirror happening. I'm riding a very nice euphoria highs

[Lori Dee ✅]

Chrissy,
I'm very much enjoying this. It feels surreal to see the changes in mirror happening. I'm riding a very nice euphoria highs

It helps when you get a good night's sleep, eh? 

[Alana Ashleigh]

This week so far has been one of more enjoyable weeks in my transition. I'm really starting to see changes. My lower body is really starting to become shapely. It feels surreal to see it happening. One thing that keeps popping into my head is the desire to have my femininity noticed, and admired. It's a thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. I tried to placate that feeling today when I did my
makeup. I went pretty heavy with my mascara. I put on four coats of mascara instead of the one thin coat I normally do.

[ChrissyRyan]

This week so far has been one of more enjoyable weeks in my transition. I'm really starting to see changes. My lower body is really starting to become shapely. It feels surreal to see it happening. One thing that keeps popping into my head is the desire to have my femininity noticed, and admired. It's a thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. I tried to placate that feeling today when I did my
makeup. I went pretty heavy with my mascara. I put on four coats of mascara instead of the one thin coat I normally do.

That is a lot of mascara.  Do enjoy your expressions of femininity.

For me I go minimalist with makeup as less is more.  But that is just me.  It works for me.

For others, well, they have their desired looks and we all have different skin and undertones.
We each have our ways to express ourselves.


It is nice to be feminine, that is for sure.


Chrissy

[Sephirah]

This week so far has been one of more enjoyable weeks in my transition. I'm really starting to see changes. My lower body is really starting to become shapely. It feels surreal to see it happening. One thing that keeps popping into my head is the desire to have my femininity noticed, and admired. It's a thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. I tried to placate that feeling today when I did my
makeup. I went pretty heavy with my mascara. I put on four coats of mascara instead of the one thin coat I normally do.

Trust me, Alana, your femininity is noticed. And it has nothing to do with how you look. <3

[Alana Ashleigh]

I went into the weekend riding a euphoria high, only to have dysphoria, and envy come back. I'm dealing with some bottom dysphoria too. It's been a disappointing weekend. I haven't had any dysphoria since I started hrt in May.

[ChrissyRyan]

Some days are tougher than others.  Envy is best when it is not present.

I have it some days. 


Chrissy

[Dances With Trees]

Like yours, Alana, my body is shapeshifting and I experience similar mood swings as those you describe. As these changes occur, my circle keeps getting smaller and smaller. I comfort myself by telling the image in the mirror, 'I'm really the only one who cares what you look like.' That seems to help me keep perspective.

[Alana Ashleigh]

I went swimming yesterday and had a hard time getting my swim trunks on. I've had more fat redistribution than I thought. I went for my morning workout and noticed I've lost a bit of my strength. My upper body seems to be the most affected. My lower body has lost some strength as well. It takes a bit more effort to lift weight I used to do with ease. I ran a mile for part of my training, and I definitely need a sports bra when I run now.

[ChrissyRyan]

I went swimming yesterday and had a hard time getting my swim trunks on. I've had more fat redistribution than I thought. I went for my morning workout and noticed I've lost a bit of my strength. My upper body seems to be the most affected. My lower body has lost some strength as well. It takes a bit more effort to lift weight I used to do with ease. I ran a mile for part of my training, and I definitely need a sports bra when I run now.

This sounds as if there will be more nice changes to come!

Chrissy

[Alana Ashleigh]

I had a one month follow up appointment with my new hrt doctor this morning. She just asked me a few general questions, and ordered labs for me to get my levels checked. I haven't had my levels checked yet. I would've gotten them done after the appointment, but had to get home and get ready for work.

[Sephirah]

Alana, just be... and enjoy just being. I know you have a lot inside you because you see people and wish you could be like them. Girl... from talking to you... you are everything you want to be. Take each day at a time and enjoy the changes you're seeing. But more than that.. you are more than anything or anyone you think you are, okay? What's on the outside is only a slow-moving reflection of what's inside. And you can't lose that. You will get there, sweetie. Don't envy other women, because you are one of the most beautiful, awesome women I've ever had the pleasure to speak to. If you spoke to these people, they would probably envy you being you. Because that's how people work.

Live your life, and love your life. Enjoy being your woman. Instead of a woman. You are unique. Take pride in that, sweetie. The world might be a better place if more people did.

[Alana Ashleigh]

I've been kinda quiet on here lately. Nothing major has happened recently. The only thing that's changed is my chest has become sore. My boobs have been feeling sore, and heavy. I see a bit of growth in the mirror, but nothing major. I've found that wearing a bra helps with alleviating some of the discomfort. Interestingly, I feel better mentally when I wear a bra.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I've found that wearing a bra helps with alleviating some of the discomfort.

It helps with support, so that will ease some of the discomfort. A bra also provides some insulation when going between a warm outside and a cool inside. I notice I will get an ache if they get chilled. It won't be long, and you'll be joining us in our complaints about boob sweat... until winter sets in. 

[Alana Ashleigh]

The last two days have been interesting. I was feeling very moody yesterday at work. I haven't experienced much moodiness since the beginning of August. Something woke up my boobs and I've been feeling all of sensations going on in them. Today, I had a huge rush different feelings all in a short time. I felt like a hormonal teenager with all the ups and downs I was feeling. It felt euphoric to be experiencing all of this. This may sound silly, but I just tried to enjoy this experience. Next Friday, I'll be on hormones for four months.

[Alana Ashleigh]

Today was a weird day for me. I was very heavy with emotions today. I've never experienced anything like this. I had to take several breaks at work tonight just because of how I was feeling. It was like feeling emotions in 3D. There's been a few times this week I could've easily cried for no reason.

[ChrissyRyan]

I hope you find some inner peace Alana.

I remember getting moody at times.  It is not as I do not anymore it is just not that prevalent.
I do not seem to cry for no reason.  I do cry though. 

[Jessica_Rose ✅]

Getting 'in touch' with your emotions after decades of repressing them is quite a roller coaster. They will calm down eventually. I've found that if I'm telling someone an emotional story, closing my eyes helps me control my emotions.

Be prepared for sudden, unexpected rounds of euphoria. The first time I experienced one, it was a bit frightening.

I loved wearing bras initially. They are so affirming! After a few years, I realized how hot they were in the summer. I've stopped wearing them now, except for special occasions.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Alana Ashleigh]

I never posted this last Friday since I was busy at work all night... last Friday was my 120 day of being on hormones. I can't believe how fast time has gone. Being on hormones has gone better than I was expecting. There's been a few ups and down, some moodiness, and a bit of crying, but I'm feeling the happiest I've felt in ages. I'm definitely seeing changes. They're subtle, but there.