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What does it feel like taking HRT for the first time?

Started by katiebee, Today at 12:57:39 PM

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katiebee

As someone who hasn't transitioned, but has always wished circumstance made it easier, I've always wondered what it feels like. Did you have an almost immediate reaction to your body's chemistry change, or was it pretty non-eventful and more of an imperceptibly gradual "look back in a year and realize how different I feel now" thing? Is starting more of an emotional/spiritualish experience than a physical one?

Pema

It's funny how I always feel unqualified to answer these questions, because I seem to fall outside the range of most common experiences. But since I'm only in the sixth week of HRT, I'll still give my personal response.

As with most things, I think everybody's experience is unique. That said, I suspect few will say that they felt an immediate reaction other than the euphoria of finally starting down the path where they belong. And that is a significant and powerful part of the journey.

Since I began at half of the low-dose protocol for estradiol and a quarter of the LDP for spironolactone, I can easily say that I've felt no chemical effects yet - which is exactly what we want. My body is absurdly sensitive to all kinds of things, including medications, so we wanted to be sure that I didn't experience any negative effects (too-low blood pressure, allergic reactions, etc.) If all goes well, I'll finally reach the low dosage next month.

So, I'm the wrong person to ask, but this has been my experience so far. Given my super-gradual approach, I suspect the onset to be nearly imperceptible.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lori Dee

I agree with Pema that the initial euphoria was more of "Finally, it begins!"

My Psychologist warned me to pay close attention to my mood. Any sign of depression, or even a feeling of "something's not right," would be a sign that this is the wrong path. I didn't notice anything right away, but somewhere around 3 - 5 days in, I noticed that I felt happy. Not really euphoric but just happier than I had been in a very long time.

It struck me at that time that I had not been a happy person my entire life. Sure, I had happy moments, but overall, I was not a happy person. (Details in The Story of Lori, linked below).

By the ned of my first 30-day trial period, I knew this was the right choice for me. My next follow-up was at 90 days, and I told my healthcare team that there was no turning back. I felt great! There were no physical signs until around 6 months in.
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Northern Star Girl

  @katiebee
Dear Katiebee:
Regarding your future progress and timeline when you finally start your MTF HRT...
...here are some of my thoughts as it might relate to what you may expect.

As has been stated over and over here on the Forum... and by me in many of my comments on
various posts here, HRT will work uniquely in your own unique body.

What you read about other transitioning members experiences with HRT most likely will not be
identical to your own experiences.
Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and then some will experience less
significant changes more slowly... it is all up to your genes and how your body reacts to
the HRT. 
Your doctor will  undoubtedly be looking at your frequent blood test results during your
journey to determine if any alterations in the HRT regimen are needed.

The adage that you have probably already heard regarding HRT and how it may work for various
individuals is "YMMV"  meaning that Your Mileage May Vary.
 
PATIENCE is definitely required, usually not much happens very quickly with HRT, but changes
will happen. 
Do some reading of some of our other transitioners posted HRT experiences...  they can give
you a rough idea of what you MIGHT expect.

In my own experience, breast changes started coming slowly at the 3 to 5 month time frame and
then after 6 to 9 months the changes started arriving more quickly and became more apparent...
... breast enlargement, nipple and areola size and most definitely breast tenderness, so try to not
accidentally bump them inadvertently when carrying boxes or on a door frame when walking into a room. 

At the 9 to 12 month time frame you may need to start thinking about some kind of a bra to help
minimize discomfort during activities such a running, jogging and other exercise routines.
At that point in your HRT journey, trying to hide them or to appear stealth can become a challenge,
however clothing choices may help with that, especially in the winter time when heavier fabrics,
coats and sweatshirts are worn.
will
Other changes that perhaps will come along in the first year might be loss of male libido, body and urine
odor changes, and a softening of your skin... and for some, a softer and more expressive mental
attitude which may include crying and weeping at things that may surprise you.  Likewise,
changes in the proportions of your waist, hips, butt, and thighs may make necessary changes in
the sizes, choices and fit of your clothing.

Because of my prior mention of YMMV, please notice the ample use of words like "might" "maybe" 
"may" and "perhaps."

Without a doubt this can be very "EXCITING and SCARY all at the same time." Continue
to hang on for an amazing ride. 
Some of my best and most appreciated body changes happened in year #2.

We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.  The attitude of many people today is "I want it all
and I want it now"
... that will not apply to HRT.


Hugs and well wishes... I will eagerly be looking for your updates as you
feel free to share them.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: katiebee on Today at 12:57:39 PM
As someone who hasn't transitioned, but has always wished circumstance made it easier, I've always wondered what it feels like. Did you have an almost immediate reaction to your body's chemistry change, or was it pretty non-eventful and more of an imperceptibly gradual "look back in a year and realize how different I feel now" thing? Is starting more of an emotional/spiritualish experience than a physical one?
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KathyLauren

It is unlikely that your first experience of HRT will produce any physical sensation.  My main feeling was joy that I was finally setting out on this journey.

The physical sensations came later, when I had noticeable breast growth.  I remember walking the dog one day and thinking, "Hey, those girls jiggle!"  Next shopping trip into town, I got my first bra.  🙂
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

katiebee

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on Today at 02:14:48 PM  @katiebee
Dear Katiebee:
Regarding your future progress and timeline when you finally start your MTF HRT...
...here are some of my thoughts as it might relate to what you may expect.

As has been stated over and over here on the Forum... and by me in many of my comments on
various posts here, HRT will work uniquely in your own unique body.

What you read about other transitioning members experiences with HRT most likely will not be
identical to your own experiences.
Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and then some will experience less
significant changes more slowly... it is all up to your genes and how your body reacts to
the HRT. 
Your doctor will  undoubtedly be looking at your frequent blood test results during your
journey to determine if any alterations in the HRT regimen are needed.

The adage that you have probably already heard regarding HRT and how it may work for various
individuals is "YMMV"  meaning that Your Mileage May Vary.
 
PATIENCE is definitely required, usually not much happens very quickly with HRT, but changes
will happen. 
Do some reading of some of our other transitioners posted HRT experiences...  they can give
you a rough idea of what you MIGHT expect.

In my own experience, breast changes started coming slowly at the 3 to 5 month time frame and
then after 6 to 9 months the changes started arriving more quickly and became more apparent...
... breast enlargement, nipple and areola size and most definitely breast tenderness, so try to not
accidentally bump them inadvertently when carrying boxes or on a door frame when walking into a room. 

At the 9 to 12 month time frame you may need to start thinking about some kind of a bra to help
minimize discomfort during activities such a running, jogging and other exercise routines.
At that point in your HRT journey, trying to hide them or to appear stealth can become a challenge,
however clothing choices may help with that, especially in the winter time when heavier fabrics,
coats and sweatshirts are worn.
will
Other changes that perhaps will come along in the first year might be loss of male libido, body and urine
odor changes, and a softening of your skin... and for some, a softer and more expressive mental
attitude which may include crying and weeping at things that may surprise you.  Likewise,
changes in the proportions of your waist, hips, butt, and thighs may make necessary changes in
the sizes, choices and fit of your clothing.

Because of my prior mention of YMMV, please notice the ample use of words like "might" "maybe" 
"may" and "perhaps."

Without a doubt this can be very "EXCITING and SCARY all at the same time." Continue
to hang on for an amazing ride. 
Some of my best and most appreciated body changes happened in year #2.

We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.  The attitude of many people today is "I want it all
and I want it now"
... that will not apply to HRT.


Hugs and well wishes... I will eagerly be looking for your updates as you
feel free to share them.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]


Yeah, YMMV and HRT being a marathon instead of a race are part of what's made it so hard to make the leap. I guess what I was more asking is on the mental side of things, if there was some kind of fairly quick affirmation of your body/brain telling you that HRT was the right decision. Can you tell that you think/feel better than before (or at least differently)? I know lots of guys who take TRT and FTM men report a fairly immediate boost in mood, energy, etc. once they start taking T. Did anyone here get a similar boost in energy/mood/mental clarity that was like a puzzle piece clicking, some kind of "light bulb moment" that estrogen was what your body/mind/soul was missing? Or, like with the physical changes, is it a thing that's so gradual that you only realize how much it's changed you in hindsight?

All this understanding it can be different for everyone. I'm just curious if it's something where if I took HRT for a few weeks/months, I'd potentially know right from the start that it's the right (or even wrong) decision, or if that's just not something that's likely to happen.
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