Charlotte's scratch post

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think you should consider attending. Your biggest obstacle is your fear of rejection. At every LGBTQ event I have attended, everyone has been very accepting, no matter how weird people looked or acted. Furry events are the same way. Many outsiders don't get it. But the people who attend do, and you are one of them.

As you know, from people here, our community is the most accepting place on Earth. I think if you dip your toes in the water there and see how fun it can be, you might be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Over time, definitely not right away, but over time, you can use that positive experience to expand your horizons a bit.

Give it some thought. I think it will be good for you.

[Stottie Girl]

Why feel guilt Charlotte? We like to see your journey and how your style and appearance is evolving. There is nothing to feel guilty about.

Instead of comparing yourself to other trans women at this event and feeling you don't measure up I think it will be far more likely that the opposite will be true. You have come a very long way since I first met you on Susans. You can be proud of your journey so far.

[Petunia]

Charlotte, I agree with Courtney.

The first one sounds more feminine and listening to it that voice is coming from a woman.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I definitely would like to attend Lori as it's a particular space that I can be myself and move into another side of me that I want to explore. If it works out I can literally escape my reality for a while. But I do have to make sure I'm ready for it emotionally. Just happens that 70% of the people into this kinda thing are trans, and in their 20s/30s so lots of risk of me comparing to others or feeling inadequate. But I deliberately started the discussion with my therapist who knows exactly where I'm going so is ready to help me prepare (I cant really disclose the content on here as its NSFW and pretty taboo to some). Luckily I know one person going who I met at the furry con and will have my bf with me.

Sarah, I feel guilt as my whole schema is set that its vulgar to share stuff about yourself, particularly positive stuff as that is like showing off or bigging yourself up. Every time I share I go through this fight in my mind to as if I should, because it makes me vulgar as a person if I show people stuff about me that I'm proud of. This is in part why I'm hopeless at music. I make stuff but too scared to share it as don't want to seem too proud or big headed. And don't want to bother people as they'll think I'm pushy. I'm getting better but those feelings and ones of inadequacy still persist. I see posts by people online where they say things like "I think I look pretty today" with a photo. I find that absolutely impossible to do myself due to self doubt and those feelings as above. Being out there was met with mockery or disapproval for much of my life. That persists.

Thanks Petunia for the feedback. With Courtney's thumbs up that gives me a good basis to work on. Thank you.

Charlotte X

@Lori Dee @Stottie Girl @Petunia

[davina61]

Well its time you "bigged" your self up then!!

[Petunia]

Charlotte, sweety, no judgement from me.

I thought I had a fetish for years but it was simply just me being happy.

Stop comparing yourself to kids half your age. Be happy for them and imerse yourself in their joy.

I know you will psych yourself up to go and then panic and want to stay home.

Get your gear ready and when you start to doubt yourself we are all here to push you forward.

I'd love to go somewhere that 70 % of people are trans.

Hot girlie, you're trans, you know it, you look like you're 30. Just smile that smile of yours and you are a winner.

What better place to try out that girl voice you have.

I wish I could walk in with you.

Stop overthinking it and go and do what you want and deserve.

💞

Sweetheart, nothing I say will make things better but if you stay home and do nothing then nothing will happen, until the day after. And you are just going to hate on yourself.

Or you go, nervous as hell as every single transwoman does when they go out, and give it your best shot.

You can't honestly believe you are the only one of us with doubts.

I talk a good talk, but I crap myself everytime I go out, but I calm the nerves and realise anyone who doesn't like me doesn't matter to me.

I focus on the occasional compliment

[Stottie Girl]

I can't say I've ever noticed someone saying "I think I look pretty today" Charlotte. More often I see people who are posting images of themselves who want feedback. They want to know they are doing things right (or wrong).

If I post an image of myself then I am usually either implicitly or explicitly asking for an opinion rather than saying "here I am, I think I'm pretty". I'm sure that is all other posters are doing. A lot of us are in the closet so have no-one to source opinions or critique from. You are out in the world and you have a partner to ask but if you want to post images for opinion or just because you are proud then do it. Nobody here will judge you for it and we quite like to see this stuff. It can help us learn.