Charlotte's scratch post

[Lori Dee ✅]

What I did was, while reading the lines, I imagined I was telling a story to a child. That helped me slow down and speak more clearly so the listener could understand me better.

[Courtney G]

Upon hearing the speed at which you read the practice bit, my first thought was "this is a smart gal with a big brain who is 10 steps ahead of everything, intellectually-speaking." I think the speedy speaking thing is a sign of great intelligence. It certainly seems that way in your case from what I can ascertain.

I have a thought - do with it what you will - go ahead and record those "weird" tries and perhaps share one with us. I'm thinking that you think you sound weird because it sounds foreign to you but we might think differently.

[Sephirah]

I just listened to both of those links, Charlotte.

The first one is better. The second one feels... unnatural. I know a lady who sounds exactly how you sound in the first link you posted. Granted it isn't the same dialect and accent, but... it feels more natural, you know? The second link feels more... forced.

Don't be so worried about the pitch of how you sound. That's my advice. You don't have to sound like you just huffed Helium.

[davina61]

Lots of ladies around here with deeper voices, farming stock!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

At the moment I'm struggling to target the optimal pitch accurately. The difference in feel and sound to me internally is very small between 170 and 230Hz. So I'm currently easily landing between those and its hard to control. I'm trying to aim 220Hz which is the sweet spot, but often hit 240Hz when trying and 175Hz when relaxed and not thinking. Consistency is the current struggle!

[Petunia]

Upon hearing the speed at which you read the practice bit, my first thought was "this is a smart gal with a big brain who is 10 steps ahead of everything, intellectually-speaking." I think the speedy speaking thing is a sign of great intelligence. It certainly seems that way in your case from what I can ascertain.

I agree with everybody else. You are doing so well.

As per Countney above, the ability to speak si quickly whilst being fluent and completely coherent does show a lot of intelligence.

At the same time you are trying to change the way you speak.

As everyone has said just slow it down a bit.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Well this morning going to my vocal lesson i was walking over a village green. These two guys in a van couldn't keep their eyes off me. On two bits of road their heads were turned fully! So either they clocked me or want a bit of this! I hope the latter as would mean I'm doing something right.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Also I tried slowing down a litte as suggested with my voice. The result is below if you're interested and kind enough to listen.

Friday 🔗 [Link: drive.google.com/file/d/1LCK9U1KqqhDww8aFGZD3y8zQzX9Vk_​pu/view/]

For my vocal lessons today learning to rap, i used a vocal zone lozenge. After that i could hit 260hz whilst sounding clear and natural. It felt effortless. The problems in my nose and throat that these clear are evidently making this a lot harder.

[Lori Dee ✅]

So either they clocked me or want a bit of this!

Or both.

The first time I met my next-door neighbor, he told me he was attracted to trans women.

[Lori Dee ✅]

The voice recording is much better. At the beginning, it sounded like you were straining a bit, but then you relaxed into it. I also noticed that you modulated your voice on certain words to make it sound more natural. Well done!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Had electrolysis down there again today. Should be on track for GRS after about 8 more 2 hour sessions. Didn't hurt at all without any numbing cream today.

Not feeling so good right now. I honestly don't feel like i've progressed that much from being a man 14 months ago. Its only the fact i have no facial hair, have grown my hair longer and a slight change with my brow bone. Other than that I'm just the same. Im still not convinced HRT is going to make all these dramatic changes in the next few years. Breast growth minimal, body hair still all over unless i keep shaving my entire body, body fat unchanged, face shape unchanged.  For me HRT is not the magical thing people make it out to be.  Feels a waste of effort.

[Lori Dee ✅]

For me HRT is not the magical thing people make it out to be.  Feels a waste of effort.

I definitely understand the frustration. But keep in mind that hormones are very slow to make any changes.

For example, a cisgirl who begins puberty at ten years old will continue to develop into her twenties and even thirties. So, on a puberty timeline, you are about 11 years old. And that assumes your hormone levels were within the female range when you started out. Usually, that does not happen even with prescription hormones.

It takes the body time to adjust to the new levels before it begins development. Then, when development begins, it is still a painfully slow process. Just hang in there and be patient with yourself. You are not going to suddenly start changing, and many of the changes that happen, you may not notice for a year after they happen.

You will notice them eventually, and you will wonder when it happened. Remember the old saying: "A watched pot never boils." When you watch closely, your mind accepts the subtle changes without drawing attention to them. Then one day, you will look, and wow, the pot has been boiling for quite a while. Just relax. You'll get there.

[davina61]

Taken me 7 years for body hair to go, still have a few chest hairs but non around the nipples anymore. I takes time, just trust the universe

[Stottie Girl]

I have lost count of the number of times I have said this to you Charlotte. I feel like a stuck record but I am not making this stuff up. It does take a very long time to see results. You have to be patient. I am 4 years into HRT and my boobs still have growth pain. The changes will keep happening for some time yet. I think the fat changes started being noticable towards the end of last year but I am not sporting a female body yet. I hope over the next few years things will gradually get better. OR as I'm loosing weight I hope the weight loss will reveal a more feminine body.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Well I've taken my first steps to getting the body I'm after as have bought peanut butter to keep snacking on throughout each day. Hopefully this'll boost my fat levels and can gain a stone or so initially. I might try weight cycling too see if that does anything useful. I do wish my back hair and butt hair would give up though.

[Petunia]

I agree with Lori. At first I thought you were still speaking a bit too fast but as you went along you eased into it.

You definitely sound female to me, just keep practicing until that becomes your default voice.

As far as being clocked, from your photos I only see a woman with a very individual dress style.  Maybe they were checking out your dress.

Either way, if they weren't rude or making you uncofortable just enjoy the attention.

Guys who like girls can't help looking

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Woke up this morning with the most overwhelming feeling that I really don't want to be here anymore. I felt paralysed i couldn't get out of bed. Thankfully I've pushed myself and I'm trying to reload my mind witn calm and peace so I can make something of my day. These mornings are so distressing, why do I just wake like this? Why do I have severe depression that doesn't need any trigger or cause to be there? Its so debilitating and takes so much energy to fight. Then I still have the things come up in life that normally cause anxiety and depression. Then its compounded. Honestly I'm sure this is inherited from my father.

Struggling to get my voice today as my nose is all blocked and throat tight. Another permanent issue to add. I'll try a bit later to see if it clears.

I honestly dont think I do so bad considering my default feeling is tired, dizzy and down when I wake up. This idea of waking up refreshed- ive never experienced it in my whole life.

Charlotte 😻
 

[Maid Marion]

I've been eating more but with all the summer activities my weight is stuck at 104 lbs.
My size 4 pants are too big so I bought a pair of size 0 petite pink pants that are the tight fit many women look for when choosing bottoms.

I find that retail therapy helps.  I bought a striped mini-skirt for just $15!
Last night found two more mini-skirts on sale for $15 and $21!  One was red and the other was beige with  two thin horizontal stripes.

Marion.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I've been eating more but with all the summer activities my weight is stuck at 104 lbs.
My size 4 pants are too big so I bought a pair of size 0 petite pink pants that are the tight fit many women look for when choosing bottoms.

I find that retail therapy helps.  I bought a striped mini-skirt for just $15!
Last night found two more mini-skirts on sale for $15 and $21!  One was red and the other was beige with  two thin horizontal stripes.

Marion.

They sound very cute skirts and short are great for warm weather. I still need to spend my voucher I got from attending the hrt testing round table.  But i want to make sure I spend it on clothes that will work witb some bits I already have! Plus I'm drowning under clothes now so every room has them stored somewhere.

[Sephirah]

Charlotte, from what you've told me... I don't think it's inherited from your dad as much as it is caused by him. And the stuff you went through at a very vulnerable age. It... affected you, deeply. Things you think you would just grow out of... you don't.

Can I ask, Charlotte... did you ever talk to someone about your relationship with your dad? I know what you told me and I can only give you a luddite's take on it. Take that for what it is. But more to the point, did they let you explain what that meant to you? And how you can even start to deal with it?