Charlotte's scratch post

[Petunia]

Hey Charlotte, your voice is getting pretty good.

Listening to you is very motivating

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I don't know how much longer i can do this. I need to detransition for my own mental health

[davina61]

I doubt that will help my dear, you know it will backfire when you become unhappy doing that.

[ChrissyRyan]

Charlotte,


Take some deep breaths, try to relax, and let your mind clear out of troubling or confusing thoughts for a while.

That might not help but it could.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Thanks and sorry...boofing progesterone means its hitting me strong. Hopefully I'll get used to it.

[Courtney G]

I often spiral over one thing or another. The two main subjects are usually my relationship with my partner and the fears and difficulties of my transition. Most of the time when I feel I can't go on, I realize that there's some hormonal component to my reaction - like I'm at trough levels or something. Sometimes I don't realize it. I wish there was an app on my phone that knew how I was feeling and could tell me to chill out and take a step back from the feelings.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Thanks Davina, Chrissy & Courtney. I think the hormones generally are playing on a lot of unresolved self esteem and confidence issues. These were packed away for a long time, but now I'm wanting better they are coming to haunt me. Add my therapist cancelled this week's session so that didn't help!

Also progesterone seems to be putting me on heat again. Thats a complex issue I really need to talk with my therapist about. I have a really strong urge to be used and abused that won't leave my head. Certainly an emotional rollercoaster trabsitioning for me.

On Saturday I'm getting my trans colour heart tattoo with  "I'm enough" caption. Hopefully to remind me, especially as i feel so inferior and bargain basement 90% of the time.

Love Charlotte ❤️

[Petunia]

On Saturday I'm getting my trans colour heart tattoo with  "I'm enough" caption. Hopefully to remind me, especially as i feel so inferior and bargain basement 90% of the time.

Love Charlotte ❤️

Charlotte, that doesn't sound like someone who really wants to detransition.

You sound like someone who is frustrated with slow progress.

Go back to the post that shows photos of your progression.  Do you really want to go back to the first one?  Remember how dead your eyes looked?

Go back and listen to your dead voice. Compare it to now.

Which one do you like better?

You had doubts and frustation at the start.  You still have them now but for different reasons.

You are halfway down a path that you wanted.

There are milestone markers ahead of you that you already set in place. Keep focus on getting to those spots. They are set in time and each time you pass one it will feel better.

All of us have doubts and I've never met a woman who is completely happy with themselves. 

I admire your courage for being able to act on what you need.  I wish I had your courage.

A big hug for you.🩷

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Thanks Petunia. Looking back I really dont want to be him agsin. I also deliberately tried my old voice and sounded so weird! Even though occasionally I drop down accidentally, its still not that masc anymore.

I guess I'm just a normal woman, one of the insecure ones!

Love and Hugs
Charlotte 😻

[Petunia]

I'll say it again Charlotte. I don't know any women who are completly satisfied with themselves.

Don't forget you are going through puberty, the most unsettling time of anybodies life

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I went into Birmingham today to get my second tattoo and also get my hormones tested. Despite being cooler the humidity is still in the 70% region so I was sweating from my face for most of the day.

I did put a little makeup on with BB cream, powder, a little eyeshadow and mascara. Although I like the outcome, the process was gruelling. I had about 2 minute bursts to do bits of makeup before going out of the room and under my ceiling fan for 15 minutes. So it took about 1 hour total to do this little bit with most of that under the fan. Basically within 2 minutes I started sweating from my brow, chin and around my nose. Applying makeup onto sweat...difficult. I think I just can't wear makeup for 6 months of the year unless I get AC. This problem is at 22 degC temperature! I'm sure I've got hyperhydrosis as this isn't normal.

Despite being a real rough and rush job the makeup helped and I got a couple of nice pictures.

[Petunia]

Charlotte,
How hot is it over there?

I keep hearing about the heatwave.

I feel so sorry for you with the sweating. It really sucks.
I am hoping that hrt will help me with that but perhaps not.

I'm not really into tattoos but I do appreciate one that has deep personal meaning.

You look like you have a spark in your eyes.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Charlotte,
How hot is it over there?

I keep hearing about the heatwave.

I feel so sorry for you with the sweating. It really sucks.
I am hoping that hrt will help me with that but perhaps not.

I'm not really into tattoos but I do appreciate one that has deep personal meaning.

You look like you have a spark in your eyes.

I mean, it's only been up to maybe 24 degC today, but thats well over what i can cope with without sweating unless I keep completely still. I think the biggest issue is the humidity which sits between 60-85% at the moment. The heat literally feels like its clinging to you.

But I've managed through the day. I'll just be getting AC in the winter so I'm ready for next year!

I hope everything is going OK and well for you Petunia

Charlotte 😻

[ChrissyRyan]

That is hot weather.

[davina61]

Working in anything over 20C is enough for me as I will have sweat running in my eyes, not sure how I will cope this week @30C.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Working in anything over 20C is enough for me as I will have sweat running in my eyes, not sure how I will cope this week @30C.

Lots of ice cream!
You can burn off the calories when it cools down.

😁

[Sephirah]

Set for 30+ Celsius from the middle of next week... again. Petunia, it's not so much how hot it is, it's how the UK is designed to cope with it. By which I mean... we aren't. At all. The majority of British homes are designed to keep the heat in, not to expedite it. So when you get even moderately warm spells, comparatively, a lot of homes become literal ovens. You are a tea bag in a Thermos flask.

Many homes here have layer upon layer of insulation. In the attic (loft) and even injected into the walls. And double, or triple glazed windows. All designed to keep them as warm as possible during cold spells. So people don't have to turn the heating on... because that can be ruinously expensive. Which is good when it's cold... which it hasn't really been for a long time... but when it's hot, it's like gently stroking Beelzebub's bits.

I got an AC unit for my room during the last furnace blast. But... like with the heating, you just daren't use it more than necessary to preserve life. Because energy prices are absurd.

I think we just have to face facts that Summer is evil and get used to being on fire. Which I've been saying all along, haha.

[davina61]

But sods law its turning wet according to the long range just in time for the Blues festival, hope they are wrong.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist on my birthday.

[Petunia]

When it's humid it really sucks.
About 10 years ago we installed 2 split system air conditioners in our house.

One in the main living area and one in the bedroom.

Best thing we ever did.

We also have a ceiling sweep fan in the bedroom to keep the air moving.

Before the a/c we used to wet towels and put them on top of us when we slept the the fan running, like an evaporative cooler. 

It kinda worked.

Everybody here complains about the price of electricity but it really isn't that bad. A lot of houses have solar panels installed which feed back into the grid.

Some people are lucky enough to have their own batteries.

There is only the 2 of us at home and our electricity is about $400 for 3 month.

Divide by 2 for GBP and muliply by 0.7 for USD.

I'm going ok Charlotte. Just waiting.  My wife is a bit depressed though.