Charlotte's scratch post

[Laura Squirrel]

The problem is though i don't have the self esteem. Everything these people say to me is true. I do look ridiculous and I'm a man i can never truely be a woman and i know that. So i lie to myself and feel ok, but then people remind me of the truth.  I should just  be normal like most other people and not try to be something i can never be.

I totally understand how you feel. But may I throw my two cents in here? I came to terms with being trans back in 2020. I will discuss this on my vlog thread since I just got the idea and to keep this short. But no matter what I do, even if I were a billionaire, I am always going to be trans. But, ya know what? I don't let that bother me 75% of the time. That percentage only decreased due to what is going on here in the former United States. But I will stop there.

Charlotte, I've thought this at times in my life. And then I've realized that the thing I can never be is "normal." I'm just... not. And the truth is that I don't want to be "normal." I just want to be me, whatever that may be.

And that's OK for you, too. In fact, it's what's best for you and everyone else. But it's hard to accept that when the world demands conformity. You are amazing exactly as you are.

SPOT-ON!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Im honestly just tearing up. I really just want to cry and not stop. I dont want  to fight. I never  wanted any of this. I dont do anything to deliberately hurt othets. I try to do tje right tbing. The good tbing. Yet life is cruel and just punishes. Honestly im done with it all. I just wanna stay at home and never go out again.  Why should i work tomorrow to jusy pay taxes for a load of people i wish would hust die. Ive gad enough now. Totally had enough. I dont wanr to be here anymore. I wish i was dead along witn half fhe rest of tnis  countries population.  Humans ate just complete jerks who should die akready

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I was really happy this morning...had a moment where i felt id found myself. Went out confident and happy. Noe thats over. Why cant these people keep their  mouthes shut. Need to start locking thesse people up and throwing away they key.  I thibk im changing my vote to Reform...im done

[Devlyn ✅]

The problem is though i don't have the self esteem. Everything these people say to me is true. I do look ridiculous and I'm a man i can never truely be a woman and i know that. So i lie to myself and feel ok, but then people remind me of the truth.  I should just  be normal like most other people and not try to be something i can never be.

I'm mostly (always feels wrong using that word) female but I still have male days; meaning that's how I feel and identify on some days. I know my situation isn't yours, and I'm not insinuating you should do things my way. But I would love to see you just accept yourself as you are. Self acceptance is so much more important than what others think about you.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I'm mostly (always feels wrong using that word) female but I still have male days; meaning that's how I feel and identify on some days. I know my situation isn't yours, and I'm not insinuating you should do things my way. But I would love to see you just accept yourself as you are. Self acceptance is so much more important than what others think about you.

Hugs, Devlyn

I think I'm a demigirl. I feel mostly female and want to bias towards being a woman. So that's my identity. But I'm not fully on board. The only way i can explain it is i feel feminine most of the time, but when i don't i want to be a woman who is androgynous. Not a man who is androgynous. I would love to go as feminine as i possibly can, then dial back so I'm seen as a woman with an edgy androgynous style.  But i think i need to go fully female to learn my relationship with this identity, then carefully step back. I don't want to accidentally be masc androgynous.

Problem is when i get really down i feel male. My depressed side is highly masculine.

[Stottie Girl]

I just feel like i want to cry. I wss having a nice day off and its ruined. Get two a week now this one is lost. I'm losing all my faith in humanity now.  I just feel like giving up

I think I would have pushed them in the canal!

Don't let their tiny minds get you down Charlotte. Think about the rest of the day that you were enjoying instead. Screw them.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I think I would have pushed them in the canal!

Don't let their tiny minds get you down Charlotte. Think about the rest of the day that you were enjoying instead. Screw them.

Honestly the thing i find hardest is i really want to hurt them. Like intrusive thoughts of going back with a piece of wood and finishing them off. I don't want to feel that way, but my tether is getting short. I'm scared one day I'll flip, and I'm telling you at that point it'll either be me or them standing at the end. The other won't be getting back up. Thats how i feel now with this world. I'm thinking of wearing a bodycam and just getting the police involved from now on.

[davina61]

There are a fair few who need locking up, certainly a writer and hate funder. Trouble is it gives the morons something to believe. I have a dont give a fig attitude, maybe thats why I have never had any trouble but the area I live in is okay.

[Stottie Girl]

Honestly the thing i find hardest is i really want to hurt them. Like intrusive thoughts of going back with a piece of wood and finishing them off. I don't want to feel that way, but my tether is getting short. I'm scared one day I'll flip, and I'm telling you at that point it'll either be me or them standing at the end. The other won't be getting back up. Thats how i feel now with this world. I'm thinking of wearing a bodycam and just getting the police involved from now on.

Doubt they'd do anything though Charlotte sadly. Lot's of laws to protect us but not enough police to enforce them. You could always do what a lot of CIS women do as protection from catcalling and put headphones on. They can be as abusive as they like but if you can't hear them who cares, they just look stupid.

You shouldn't have to of course but whatever gets you though.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

There are a fair few who need locking up, certainly a writer and hate funder. Trouble is it gives the morons something to believe. I have a dont give a fig attitude, maybe thats why I have never had any trouble but the area I live in is okay.

Tbh I don't thibk they knew I was trans as didn't use those slurs. Just throwing venom about me and my partner wearing bright clothes and saying we looked ridiculous. I thought fishing was meant to be relaxing, but not for these two.  His face was vicious when he said it. Looked at me with complete hate and disgust. This wasn't a slur while laughing...it was bitter and really nasty. I honestly was ready to fight. I dont imagine they are right wing as they are what the right wing are trying to get rid of. This world is messed up...really nessed up. Before long everyone will be fighting.

[Stottie Girl]

Tbh I don't thibk they knew I was trans as didn't use those slurs. Just throwing venom about me and my partner wearing bright clothes and saying we looked ridiculous. I thought fishing was meant to be relaxing, but not for these two.  His face was vicious when he said it. Looked at me with complete hate and disgust. This wasn't a slur while laughing...it was bitter and really nasty. I honestly was ready to fight. I dont imagine they are right wing as they are what the right wing are trying to get rid of. This world is messed up...really nessed up. Before long everyone will be fighting.

I'm not out obviously but I do have eyes and ears, I don't see this sort of abuse anywhere. Maybe it's the area you are in? Have you considered moving somewhere else? Somewhere rural maybe?

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I'm not out obviously but I do have eyes and ears, I don't see this sort of abuse anywhere. Maybe it's the area you are in? Have you considered moving somewhere else? Somewhere rural maybe?

Unfortunately rural would be too expensive. This house is only worth about £200k and I'm tied paying this until I'm 66 as didn't get on property ladder until 2019. I've got to think down the line in 10 years my earning power will reduce, particularly with AI risking everything. My partner doesn't work so everything is on me so although im paid well, thats looking after two people yet im taxed as one.

[Stottie Girl]

Unfortunately rural would be too expensive. This house is only worth about £200k and I'm tied paying this until I'm 66 as didn't get on property ladder until 2019. I've got to think down the line in 10 years my earning power will reduce, particularly with AI risking everything. My partner doesn't work so everything is on me so although im paid well, thats looking after two people yet im taxed as one.

Well doesn't have to be rural, just away from people who are abusive.

Not everywhere is like that you know.

[Devlyn ✅]

👮🏻 Language, please, folks. This is an all ages forum. 👮🏻

[Laura Squirrel]

Honestly the thing i find hardest is i really want to hurt them. Like intrusive thoughts of going back with a piece of wood and finishing them off. I don't want to feel that way, but my tether is getting short. I'm scared one day I'll flip, and I'm telling you at that point it'll either be me or them standing at the end. The other won't be getting back up. Thats how i feel now with this world. I'm thinking of wearing a bodycam and just getting the police involved from now on.

You're speaking my language. All I will say is this: I have no criminal record. I have not been in a physical altercation since high school. I want to keep it that way. Thank Portia for GTA.

[Laura Squirrel]

Well doesn't have to be rural, just away from people who are abusive.

Not everywhere is like that you know.

My town has a church that is LGBT supportive. They have BLM, LGBT, and a Trans flag in their window. I would go check them out. But the services usually start at 7 pm, and the last bus runs at 7:30. So I would have to walk back, and I am not in my 20s anymore.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think I'm a demigirl. I feel mostly female and want to bias towards being a woman. So that's my identity.

That is similar to how I felt. After two years in therapy with my psychologist explaining things, I seemed to understand a lot more. But I was still confused about how any of that applied to me.

Eventually, I just asked him, if he were to describe my gender identity, what would he say?
He said that he would describe me as asexual transfeminine.

The light came on! 💡 The more I thought about it, the more accurate I realized it was.

Then the only question was: do I accept this and embrace it? Or reject it and remain miserable for the rest of my life? The whole reason I went to see the psychologist was to find out why I was so miserable. Now that I had an answer, how could I reject it? So I embraced it.

It took some work, but understanding who I am and why just lifted a huge burden off my shoulders.

I think that if you can get to that point of realizing you are a demi-girl or whatever and decide, so be it! that you will start to feel much better about yourself. Will you be supermodel gorgeous? Of course not, but demi-girls don't need to be. Asexual transfeminine doesn't need to be. All we need is to be ourselves.

Go easy on yourself. You are learning faster than you realize.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

That is similar to how I felt. After two years in therapy with my psychologist explaining things, I seemed to understand a lot more. But I was still confused about how any of that applied to me.

Eventually, I just asked him, if he were to describe my gender identity, what would he say?
He said that he would describe me as asexual transfeminine.

The light came on! 💡 The more I thought about it, the more accurate I realized it was.

Then the only question was: do I accept this and embrace it? Or reject it and remain miserable for the rest of my life? The whole reason I went to see the psychologist was to find out why I was so miserable. Now that I had an answer, how could I reject it? So I embraced it.

It took some work, but understanding who I am and why just lifted a huge burden off my shoulders.

I think that if you can get to that point of realizing you are a demi-girl or whatever and decide, so be it! that you will start to feel much better about yourself. Will you be supermodel gorgeous? Of course not, but demi-girls don't need to be. Asexual transfeminine doesn't need to be. All we need is to be ourselves.

Go easy on yourself. You are learning faster than you realize.

I've spoken a bit to someone on Threads who I'm pretty sure is cis, but when I first saw her I thought she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She is undoubtedly a woman but has a slightly androgynous edge. I fell in love with her hairstyle and will do the same when mine is longer.  She has it undercut to literally grade zero on one side but the rest is really long.  Beautiful orange hair. So has a really pretty soft look with that undercut making her look strong and edgy. Absolutely not traditional  in any way. I'd love to have her vibe but my own take. I want to be a woman teasing with masculinity, but still undoubtedly feminine. Its a 3 year plan but exciting!


Charlotte ❤️

[Lori Dee ✅]

I've spoken a bit to someone on Threads who I'm pretty sure is cis, but when I first saw her I thought she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She is undoubtedly a woman but has a slightly androgynous edge. I fell in love with her hairstyle and will do the same when mine is longer.  She has it undercut to literally grade zero on one side but the rest is really long.  Beautiful orange hair. So has a really pretty soft look with that undercut making her look strong and edgy. Absolutely not traditional  in any way. I'd love to have her vibe but my own take. I want to be a woman teasing with masculinity, but still undoubtedly feminine. Its a 3 year plan but exciting!


Charlotte ❤️

As you were describing this, the image in my head was of Natalie Dormer, as Cressida in The Hunger Games. Feminine, edgy, and beautiful.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

As you were describing this, the image in my head was of Natalie Dormer, as Cressida in The Hunger Games. Feminine, edgy, and beautiful.

Yeah exactly like that, just a little less perfect facial profile. I love that soooo much. I'd love to be like that!!