Charlotte's scratch post

[Lori Dee ✅]

However I question the WPATH levels when the reference ranges on my test docs show <500pmol/l E to be post menopausal. Surely for feminization wr should be aiming above menopause levels, at least later in the process. 

The reference ranges posted on lab tests are not from WPATH. They are standard references for typical biology. You are correct about post-menopausal levels being the wrong target. My Endos and I have had many arguments about this. They point to my age and think I should be in the post-menopause range. I am 68.

I asked them what they do when a post-menopausal woman has symptoms like hot flushes and night sweats. They put them on HRT to raise their levels.

I told them that I am not post-menopausal. Since I started hormones six years ago, I am barely through puberty. Those are where my ranges should be.

Some women post-op want to decrease their levels to age-appropriate ranges. I do not. I am no expert here, but I know that hormones control a lot of functions unrelated to "sex characteristics". So my logic is that if I keep my levels within a "young" range, maybe I can fool my body into believing I am young. I am not about to allow my body to wear out and deteriorate one minute before I am ready.

Of course, my body disagrees with me and will occasionally make me feel my age just for spite. But I won't give up.

[Devlyn ✅]

Thanks Sarah and Laura.

My levels have always been well within the WPATH recommendations though never near the top. In fairness in the early days I was mindful not to push too high due to risks of premature cessation of brest growth and in cis puberty the first year levels are lower. Now seems the right time to increase. However I question the WPATH levels when the reference ranges on my test docs show <500pmol/l E to be post menopausal. Surely for feminization wr should be aiming above menopause levels, at least later in the process. 

I think also certain bodies e.g. mine need much higher levels on average. Maybe some feminise lower but I feel this is all still very much understudied. Anecdotally the benefits people cite after going to injected support the theory that large peaks of E are beneficial.

Honestly i feel a lot more emotionally stable and awake since injected, although exercise undoubtedly is helping. 

I'm keeping this exactly as it is for now.

And non-anecdotally, those people have been exposed to estradiol for a longer period of time. Lennon said "give peace a chance". Dr Dev says "give puberty a chance". 🙂

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Good or bad doctors won't have any control of my HRT for a good 6 years yet! By that point it'll be maintenance. I agree in having no plans to go below menopausal levels. Menopause is something thats treated as a condition so why encourage it trans women.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Menopause is something thats treated as a condition so why encourage it trans women.

Remember that healthcare providers are more focused on risk management than the results you want. They will try to meet somewhere THEY are comfortable with. More than a few times I have had to tell them to put in my records that I am giving my "informed consent". I am aware of the risks, and this is what I want.

That helps them relax when they realize that you are assuming the risk and not them. A good doctor will discuss it with you, point out flaws in your logic, explain things you hadn't considered, then let you decide. As long as you are open to their suggestions, they seem to be open to yours. It is a negotiation at times.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

One of the first dresses I wore after my egg cracked. I really like it and wore with my black heels. Feels just too good wearing heels and a dress like this at work.  Its a very flattering fit, empire line I believe.

[Laura Squirrel]

Right on.

Got a tat, eh? I could never do that. I'm a wuss, and I don't like the permanence of it. My brother and sister-in-law have all kinds of tats. But they also know people who have the knowledge and the equipment to do things properly. So, that saves them a lot of dough.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I love the dress, and I really love the glasses. So chic.

Those are great pics, Charlotte.

[Stottie Girl]

You look genuinely happy there Charlotte. Hey, is that a new tat Charlotte? Thought you only had the kitty tat?

[Petunia]

For a moment there you had me convinced that was an old photo, but then I recognised the tattoo Charlotte.

You look fabulous in that photo. The dress looks perfect for you, the glasses really suit you, they make you look intelligent and draw attention to your smiling sparkly eyes.

You'd certainly attract my attention if I saw you out and about.

What do you wear on your feet with this?

[Finally Anna]

One of the first dresses I wore after my egg cracked. I really like it and wore with my black heels. Feels just too good wearing heels and a dress like this at work.  Its a very flattering fit, empire line I believe.

Charlotte, you look good! in that dress and the glasses are a nice fit.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Thanks all for the kind comments on my dress photos. Its a nice dress although covers up too much for my liking these days. Been a couple of days since being here as my evenings just been hectically busy! Also ended up in a very first for me, chatting with a cute woman in the US and getting flirty and very naughty. Up until not long ago I thought I was gay so I've never had these kind of encounters with a woman. Might sound lame to some, but to me was a big deal! My boyfriend knows too as I show him everything, he's really not fussed at all!

Unfortunately last night wasn't so fun I broke down badly, lost all my self esteem and realisation again that I have no IRL friends, despite trying so hard to sort this. Still feel I have no motivation or direction. Seems these feelings come in waves. I'm all good and then it hits and I don't want to be here anymore. Its very exhausting. I feel burnt out today after crying my eyes out last night.

Tomorrow is Walsall pride and I'm volunteering. Not really looking forward to it as its going to rain heavily all day. Basically I'm going to get soaked for 8 hours. Add to that I'm just not feeling good in myself and will need to pretend I'm happy. I seriously regret it now.

Hope that maybe I have some good news another day. Just now its not happening!

[Stottie Girl]

I can relate to that Charlotte. My self esteem is at an all time low right now. At least you are able to be yourself out there in the real world, and you aren't alone, you live with your best friend! If you keep going to things like bums and tums and other classes you will start making connections. I'm surprised you haven't got regular friends at the running club to be honest but maybe it's not that sort of group.

Hang in there petal. From where I sit you are in a far better position than I am at least.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Thanks Sarah. People do chat and make friends at running club, but I just can't do it. Having never had a single friend as an adult, I haven't a clue what to say or do. I'm not sure this is fixable to be honest. Its been over 25 years since any friendship.
 Hugs x

[tammy753]

I don't make friends easily although I know its me, I am so guarded that I push people away to protect my self. I think you just need to give your self time. This transition stuff is ruff I think everyone here would agree with that. It will take time for people to see the real you and when they do you will have to decide how many friends you can tolerate. I know my limit is likely way less than yours, yours is probably a positive number.

[Petunia]

Hi Charlotte. I hope you have a good time in Walsall.


I've never been to an event like that. If I was going I'd likely chicken out. To many people I don't know in one place.

Pretty dumb really, because it's the sort of crowd I'd like. I hate places where everybody seems the same.

Go, have as good a time as you can.
Just keep talking to people the way you do here.
Introduce yourself as Charlotte and ask the others where they are from and what they are in to.

There's got to be dozens with some of the same interests as you. 

[Stottie Girl]

I don't make friends easily although I know its me, I am so guarded that I push people away to protect my self. I think you just need to give your self time. This transition stuff is ruff I think everyone here would agree with that. It will take time for people to see the real you and when they do you will have to decide how many friends you can tolerate. I know my limit is likely way less than yours, yours is probably a positive number.

Same, I'm totally rubbish at making friends. Everytime I try I can see them angling for the door! I must be marmite to most people I guess.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

A few pictures from pride. Enjoyed it apart from feeling a huge amount of gender dysphoria.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Thanks for sharing!

And for showing up and representing the community.

Personally, I think you looked adorable. Nothing to dysphor about.

[Devlyn ✅]

Thanks for sharing!

And for showing up and representing the community.

Personally, I think you looked adorable. Nothing to dysphor about.

DING DING DING! We have a new verb!

[Petunia]

Charlotte, way to blend in to the background. 

In a sea of what looks like a lot of black you look like one of the rainbow beacons.

I love that you have the courage to go out and stand out.