Charlotte's scratch post

[Devlyn ✅]

Meow! 🙂

[Stottie Girl]

The red bits are white! Just very sore at moment.

My plan...to just cover myself over the next few years once I've finished saving for GRS this year

As a cat lover I love that!

Cover yourself all over? Like head to toe tattoos?

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

As a cat lover I love that!

Cover yourself all over? Like head to toe tattoos?

Avoiding my face, neck and lower arms.  Everywhere else deffo would consider. All my upper chest and legs I'd love to get done. Just something i can then actually appreciate about my body!

[Stottie Girl]

Brave! I hate needles!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Brave! I hate needles!

Not really as nothing like needles. I feint with needles so would definitely avoid if they were involved! Its just something i can look forward to really.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Rachel has said she is in the process of getting a Japanese female bodysuit. Is that what you are aiming for?

https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=246859.msg2332022#msg2332022

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Well here is my first attempt at recording my vocals properly, bringing them into my project and adding some femcore style pitch up and distortion.

This is certainly taking some learning.

Styles my weapon 🔗 [Link: drive.google.com/file/d/15eLxAx76ElJGxCJ4gwg19dbgfouxc-​UG/view/]

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Rachel has said she is in the process of getting a Japanese female bodysuit. Is that what you are aiming for?

https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=246859.msg2332022#msg2332022

Not sure as I don't really fully understand the concept being described. For me just covering a lot of my body so its at least intersting and something that I want to see! And then I'll be happier in low cut stuff and shorts too.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Well here is my first attempt at recording my vocals properly, bringing them into my project and adding some femcore style pitch up and distortion.

This is certainly taking some learning.

Styles my weapon 🔗 [Link: drive.google.com/file/d/15eLxAx76ElJGxCJ4gwg19dbgfouxc-​UG/view/]

That sounds good! I think you are dangerously close to your goal.
Just my opinion, as I have no expertise here, but the lyrics sound like you are rattling off a list of words rather than speaking a sentence. I think it is because you are ending the line with what sounds like a definite stop. Maybe that's intended.

I would try varying the inflection of the last word of each line. Think of a question mark instead of a period. Not every line, you want to vary the inflection with the meaning of the sentence, obviously. Women modulate their voices quite a bit while speaking. You have the pitch and resonance sounding good. Maintain that, but work on modulation. Think of the difference between how these sentences would sound:

I went to the shop.

I went to the shop?

I went to the shop!

I went to the shop, ...


I think if you just add a touch of variation to it, you will nail it. Good work! You have come a long way in a short time.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

That sounds good! I think you are dangerously close to your goal.
Just my opinion, as I have no expertise here, but the lyrics sound like you are rattling off a list of words rather than speaking a sentence. I think it is because you are ending the line with what sounds like a definite stop. Maybe that's intended.

I would try varying the inflection of the last word of each line. Think of a question mark instead of a period. Not every line, you want to vary the inflection with the meaning of the sentence, obviously. Women modulate their voices quite a bit while speaking. You have the pitch and resonance sounding good. Maintain that, but work on modulation. Think of the difference between how these sentences would sound:

I went to the shop.

I went to the shop?

I went to the shop!

I went to the shop, ...


I think if you just add a touch of variation to it, you will nail it. Good work! You have come a long way in a short time.

Thanks Lori, much appreciated. I think you're right on adding inflection and modulation. On one hand I'm trying to rap in my femme voice here, but this limits me as those skills I haven't perfected yet. I'm thinking so much about maintaining my voice that i can't vary it much...yet. i could sing in my male voice and pitch up, in which case i can play massively with the sound. But thie is part of my voice training. I enjoy rapping so its a good waytp practice without getting bored. I think next stop is working on those skills.

As a side I'm going to try and learn to sing. I think i can pushmy range further and maybe actually achieve something along the way.

This is definitely a tough cookie to crack...voice training and rapping, but great to tackle together.

As a side these do generally read as singular sentences just really to emphasise the rhyme and rhythm.  However that doesn't mean i cant play with it and improve the flow simultaneously so will see what i can do.

Charlotte 😻

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think you are on the right track. I think that combining rapping, singing, and maintaining your pitch and resonance all help train the muscles you need to achieve the goal.

Keep having fun with it. It isn't work if you are having fun!

[Courtney G]

Waiting to set off for my tattoo finishing. Honestly seeing all the anti trans news everyday is really getting me down even more now. The situation feels hopeless. The worst is it then just triggers all my insecurities about not passing. I feel in limbo and now just scared to be part of this world as a woman. Like today witn a loose t-shirt on I'll avoid the ladies and hold it in if necessary as i just won't read as a woman, so not worth the risk. This isn't freedom it's punishment. I don't want to be a man but at least I felt free as one

I hope that by quoting this post, I'm not upsetting you with bringing it back around, but I must tell you that I can relate to your feelings. My insecurities about not passing/being harassed are very strong and I certainly can't imagine going out as myself in my neighborhood. This means that I walk around inside wearing a cami, feeling quite good about my body, then I have to put a loose overshirt on for simple tasks like taking out the garbage. I feel as though I'm imprisoned. I feel great about my body but fear that my face will ruin it every time. I certainly feel better since FFS, but I'm not there yet. Electrolysis is producing a noticeable reduction in dark facial hairs (they're almost gone) and perhaps the upcoming second round of FFS will push me to a place of having higher confidence.

I'm just trying to say that I get it, sweetie. This is hard.

Oh, and I apologize for what America has done. There was a significant spike in aggression against trans people starting in 2016 (I wonder why?) and a huge spike in anti-trans legislation in 2020, led by certain groups and states. We set the pace on that for the rest of the world, and we're all paying the price now.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I hope that by quoting this post, I'm not upsetting you with bringing it back around, but I must tell you that I can relate to your feelings. My insecurities about not passing/being harassed are very strong and I certainly can't imagine going out as myself in my neighborhood. This means that I walk around inside wearing a cami, feeling quite good about my body, then put a loose overshirt on for simple tasks like taking out the garbage. I feel as though I'm imprisoned. I feel great about my body but fear that my face will ruin it every time. I certainly feel "better" since FFS, but I'm not there yet. Electrolysis is producing a noticeable reduction in dark facial hairs (they're almost gone) and perhaps the upcoming second round of FFS will push me to a place of having higher confidence.

I'm just trying to say that I get it, sweetie. This is hard.

Oh, and I apologize for what America has done. There was a significant spike in aggression against trans people starting in 2016 (I wonder why?) and a huge spike in anti-trans legislation in 2020, led by "certain" groups and states. We set the pace on that for the rest of the world, and we're all paying the price now.

Thank you Courtney. Sorry to hear that you're feeling similar, if not worse struggles. In a way at least I get to fully live my gender, even if that is with a big dose of insecurities. But I do have a kinda dont give a f*** attitude which has carried me through much of my later life. But it takes energy to maintsin that, and I don't want to always go out fronting alpha type energy all the time. Like you though FFS has helped as my brow bone just made me look imposing and masculine. Hopefully round two will help you like you mention. For me there is no round two,  but will look at hair transplantation as that's a major give away for me now.

Now thats some real hope there I think...we both have at least some things we can do to make our future passing much more likely.

Honestly the US influence on the UK is really stressful, but at the same time it's not your fault to apologise for. But I appreciate the thought nonetheless. We are all indeed paying the price for what I see as endemic stupidity and lies. If there is a devil, I think all of this is his big deception. Deceiving the masses into hate and ignorance. None of this is in light of goodness.

Love and hugs
Charlotte 😻

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Really struggling right now and as such my replies, posting and likes are a bit erratic. I'm switching at a very fast pace between feeling great about myself and feeling completely checked out of life. Its actually pretty exhausting now as I'm all over and don't know how I really feel.

I'm hoping that this is just a symptom of me gradually getting to feel better about myself, but as yet its still not complete so the dips keep coming. Session 2 with my therapist should help tomorrow.

I'm so sorry that I'm not always with it and don't post just happy stuff all the time. Honestly though even here you probably see 1% of what's really going on as I try to avoid posting so I don't seem just constantly negative as no one wants that. This journey is really hard for me - I wish it wasn't and could be all happy.

Charlotte

[Maid Marion]

Hi Charlotte,

Good luck with your therapy session tomorrow.

Marion

[Stottie Girl]

You don't have to apologise for anything petal. Writing your thoughts down here can help you work though things in your own mind. It's a safe place where you can unburden your thoughts. Some people take a walk into the woods and scream out, others keep a personal journal in a book at home (I do), if it helps you to write it here then that is great also, you need that release valve to keep you sane. Use your blog for your own needs first and foremost.

[Courtney G]

Charlotte, that's what we're here for, truly. Who better to vent to than us? We can't possibly understand what you feel inside but we have this shared experience, which makes it easier for us to understand your feeling perhaps better than most.

The only bit of advice I can offer is that it's important to remember that HRT (constantly changing hormone levels) makes some of us more vulnerable to our fears and feelings, sometimes amplifying the peaks and the lows. To me, this means that when I'm feeling absolutely hopeless and desperate, I have to remind myself "oh, I almost forgot: I'm loaded with estradiol, and this existential dread and despair I'm feeling might not be as bad tomorrow. I have to try to step outside of my head a little on this one because I'm still coming to terms with a brain that works differently than before."

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Charlotte Kitty
Dear Charlotte:
YES indeed, I think that most of you readers will agree with you . . . The transition journey is hard and the road is full of potholes and detours. 

As @Courtney G stated in her reply comment:  There is no better place for you to vent:  You are surrounded and among like-minded friends that understand the ups, downs, and trials and tribulations that you are experiencing.

We are all wishing you well with your therapy appointment tomorrow. Be sure that you fully express to your therapist what you are feeling about yourself and your journey.

Charlotte, you are loved here and we are are rooting for your happiness and success.

Hugs and more Hugs from me and all of your followers.
        🩷
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Forum Administrator
    Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

[davina61]

Hormone highs and lows will send you all over the place, hope you get to vent tomorrow!