As you are all probably aware I'm experiencing very intense emotional shifts very frequently, and which I'm struggling to manage. I can totally appreciate how this affects my interactions both here and elsewhere, leading to some pretty negative rants and content. This is really putting me off continuing here and on other social media such that on many occasions I have wanted to cut and run. But every time I think of all the love and care I receive from the people here and on my other socials. Some of which have helped me make real steps forward like to the most part believing in my femininity. And also think about the times I can help others feeling in a similar way.
So this leaves me in a tricky place as to how I can experience the positive sides of online participation and mitigate the negatives so I can stay as healthy as possible and not just annoy everyone. I just want to apologise to anyone that follows my progress and that has offered their hand to help me. My responses I understand can be distressing and seem insincere, and for that I'm sorry. I am trying to get better but it wont happen overnight, and in that case everything is down to how well I can defend myself from the darkness. On a plus I have spoken to AI which has offered some things I can try and hopefully improve with moving forwards.
I'm just broken...pretty badly! Transition is amazing, but its also highly triggering for the psychological issues I have.
I do really love you all!
Charlotte X
To bridge the gap over the next few months, you can use core DBT-style concepts right now to create "buffer zones" between your reflection, your triggers, and your online presence.
Managing Mirror and Comparison Triggers
Cover the mirrors: Place a cloth or sticky note over mirrors you use often, leaving only a small space for necessary grooming to limit accidental triggers.
Mute and unfollow: Aggressively curate your social media feeds by unfollowing or muting accounts that trigger comparison, even if they are other trans creators.
Practice radical acceptance: Remind yourself with a short phrase like, "This is where my body is today, and I am actively moving forward.
"DBT "TIPP" Skills for Sudden Crisis
When the mirror or a post triggers an immediate breakdown, use physical sensations to change your body chemistry before you touch your phone:
Temperature: Splash ice-cold water on your face or hold an ice pack to your chest to trigger the mammalian dive reflex and slow your heart rate.
Intense exercise: Do 60 seconds of jumping jacks, wall sits, or high knees to burn off the sudden surge of adrenaline and emotional pain.
Paced breathing: Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 2, and exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds to calm your nervous system.
Safe Digital Substitutes
Lock your phone down: Give a trusted friend or family member the password to your screen-time settings so they can lock you out of social apps when you feel a breakdown starting.
Create a private venting space: Set up a locked, private digital journal app (like Day One or Penzu) where you can type out your feelings securely without anyone else seeing them.
