Charlotte's scratch post

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Now setting off for Birmingham trans pride and our 2 year anniversary together. Just had my estrogen injection before leaving too.

[Petunia]

Just built it for fun really. It taught me a lot about power electronics.

My job was as an electrical repair/ analysist/ automation improvement specialist.
When I wasn't at work I'd do anything not to think about work.
The only time I played with power invertors or converters was when they had failed and then the pressure was on to get them working again as downtime meant production loss.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

A few pics from this weekend whilst I'm actually liking and appreciating my femininity. I hope one day that feeling is permanent.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Now my GRS is getting close I'm seriously considering if I might change to Signoid colon technique. In theory the scrotal skin technique will probably give me enough depth, but I won't know until I arrive. Everything down there has shrunken a lot so is a concern. The temptation is the self lubrication and closer approximation to cis female vaginal properties. There are some things I wish to experience where these would be an advantage whilst also hyper affirming. I'm very much intending to use down there a lot for other reasons than peeing.

On the flip side this procedure adds two extra hospital days and a more tricky recovery. My eating both before and after will be highly limited and stressful to a degree. There is also more risk with having abdominal surgery. I've seen reports regarding smells and excessive discharge, but I think these often disappear after some time adjusting.

I intend to try and get this right now. Flying to Thailand is not cheap, so getting revision later is something I don't want to do.

This stuff is just so tough to be sure of!

[Stottie Girl]

Now my GRS is getting close I'm seriously considering if I might change to Signoid colon technique. In theory the scrotal skin technique will probably give me enough depth, but I won't know until I arrive. Everything down there has shrunken a lot so is a concern. The temptation is the self lubrication and closer approximation to cis female vaginal properties. There are some things I wish to experience where these would be an advantage whilst also hyper affirming. I'm very much intending to use down there a lot for other reasons than peeing.

On the flip side this procedure adds two extra hospital days and a more tricky recovery. My eating both before and after will be highly limited and stressful to a degree. There is also more risk with having abdominal surgery. I've seen reports regarding smells and excessive discharge, but I think these often disappear after some time adjusting.

I intend to try and get this right now. Flying to Thailand is not cheap, so getting revision later is something I don't want to do.

This stuff is just so tough to be sure of!

Can you just change at this late a date? You want to be certain you are getting the right procedure for you Charlotte. For me the colon route is something I would only consider as a last resort due to the many downsides.

Personally I am interested in the Hybrid PPT route. Costs more but it seems to me to be the best of both worlds and offers excellent depth even with minimum tissue, no smells, far safer proceedure. The aesthetics seem to look amazing too. Have you ruled this out?

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Can you just change at this late a date? You want to be certain you are getting the right procedure for you Charlotte. For me the colon route is something I would only consider as a last resort due to the many downsides.

Personally I am interested in the Hybrid PPT route. Costs more but it seems to me to be the best of both worlds and offers excellent depth even with minimum tissue, no smells, far safer proceedure. The aesthetics seem to look amazing too. Have you ruled this out?

PPT is £15,700 vs £10,115. Not happening, as with £5k difference can get hair transplant done! Aesthetics shouldn't be much different between any of the procedures as thats all internal - more down to the surgeon I think. I understand the smell does go eventually at least, just needs time. I can pretty much change upto the day if i have the cash.

It is a big decision though as know it's messing with something critical. I will however hold medical travel insurance which covers emergency costs related to complications or lifesaving care.

Charlotte ❤️

[Stottie Girl]

PPT is £15,700 vs £10,115. Not happening, as with £5k difference can get hair transplant done! Aesthetics shouldn't be much different between any of the procedures as thats all internal - more down to the surgeon I think. I understand the smell does go eventually at least, just needs time. I can pretty much change upto the day if i have the cash.

It is a big decision though as know it's messing with something critical. I will however hold medical travel insurance which covers emergency costs related to complications or lifesaving care.

Charlotte ❤️

Well like I say, you need to pick what is right for you. Just read through the options and make an informed choice.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Definitely discuss the options with the surgeon. Some specialize in a particular technique for various reasons. Some are more skilled with one than the other. Some feel they can deliver better outcomes for what their patients want to achieve. Scrotal skin stretches, so talking to the surgeon could be the difference between "yes, no problem" and "maybe let's try this instead."

The best-informed decision is one that includes the surgeon.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Today has been absolute living hell.  I was in tears at lunch time and drafting an "Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment" for all lifesaving procedures this afternoon. I spoke to my boyfriend and hearing his voice I couldn't go through with finalising it. I just felt so guilty even thinking about how he would feel if i needed treatment, but was refused and I died.

Some part of me still wants to send it. But then the other part sees myself as Charlotte dying without any assistance. But I'm full of hurt. Today i don't see a woman in the mirror. I see dark beard shadow returning in clusters after 13+ laser sessions. It takes so much energy to like myself that I can't sustain it.  It's exhausting forcing myself to like who I am, what I look like and convince myself that I'm anything close to a womam.

But then is this the effects of puberty? My moods have never been so volatile. Add to existing mental issues, I can't help think I'm living the equivalent of a teenager having a rough time growing up. However, I really don't look anything like any other women I see. Not even close, so that's set in truth; i dont really pass at all. But I dont look typically male either. I'm like no other men. I'm just some weird middling freak who looks like they belong in an institution, and are a sandwich short of a picnic.

I guess I feel like nothing...just this invisible thing that wanders around life. Invisible until someone wants to pile problems onto me, or wants money for something. Then I'm the first on peoples minds.

I so struggling to understand these ups and downs. I'm actually struggling to know who the real me actually is? I really don't know.  My life is just surreal like a weird nightmare I'm observing as a 3rd person.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Come back to us, Charlotte.

You are drifting into your weekly darkness. You know how to fight it. You know that these are just ANTs, and you know how to stomp them out. Go for a jog and get your adrenaline up. You will get that dopamine rush, and you will feel better. You know what is real and what is just the Little Devil whispering in your ear. Don't let him win.

Did you get a chance to look at the Little Ouchies website?

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Come back to us, Charlotte.

You are drifting into your weekly darkness. You know how to fight it. You know that these are just ANTs, and you know how to stomp them out. Go for a jog and get your adrenaline up. You will get that dopamine rush, and you will feel better. You know what is real and what is just the Little Devil whispering in your ear. Don't let him win.

Did you get a chance to look at the Little Ouchies website?

I think I'm ok now thank you Lori. I did have running club which helped, but I think I had a really bad BPD flip today. Basically means everything == negative! Thankfully a shower and feeling the endorphins from running worked for me. I really do think hormones are making me emotional. This week I'm back to normal excercise schedule so hoping that'll help. I'm seriously hoping the women at class on Saturday remember me and have a drink with me again. I've not felt that good in forever. Thats all I've wanted for so long!

Charlotte ❤️

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think I'm ok now thank you Lori. I did have running club which helped, but I think I had a really bad BPD flip today. Basically means everything == negative! Thankfully a shower and feeling the endorphins from running worked for me. I really do think hormones are making me emotional. This week I'm back to normal excercise schedule so hoping that'll help. I'm seriously hoping the women at class on Saturday remember me and have a drink with me again. I've not felt that good in forever. Thats all I've wanted for so long!

Charlotte ❤️

There she is!

That's our Charlotte Kitty. I'm glad you feel better.

I think they will remember you. You have a great personality. Just relax and be yourself. I hope you can stick with the clubs and events you are getting involved in. I think it will do you good.

Hugs!