Greetings every

[FierceGina]

Hello girls,

I'm Gina. I am new here, this is my first post.

I am a 49 year old closeted trans woman. I knew I wanted to be a girl at 10 years old. I've repressed my true self for 39 years and I feel as though that is no longer an option. I am super lucky to have a wife that supports my dressing. However, she is against any medical gender affirming care such as hormones.

I feel a bit trapped right now and decided to reach out to try and find a community of like minded women that are like me for supportive and thoughtful conversation.

I am hoping to find meaningful connection here, and hopefully some tender and kind communication.

[ChrissyRyan]

Welcome Gina!


The official welcoming crew will be by soon.  In the meantime, please continue to explore Susan's Web site.


Chrissy

[Maid Marion]

Hi Gina,
Welcome
Great to hear you have a supportive wife.
There is a lot you can do without hormones.  I was able to grow out my hair and reduce my waistline with exercise!
It may be helpful to talk with her frequentlly and set ground rules about dressing.
Marion

[Susan ✅]

Hi Gina, welcome!

I'm really glad you found your way here and chose to speak up.

What you shared took courage. Knowing who you are at ten years old, carrying that truth quietly for nearly four decades, and finally reaching the point where repression no longer works is not a small thing. Many people here will recognize that moment—the one where survival strategies that once kept you safe start to feel like they're costing you too much.

It also matters that you named both parts of your situation honestly. Having a spouse who supports your expression is meaningful, and at the same time, being blocked from medical gender-affirming care can leave you feeling suspended between lives. That sense of being trapped isn't a failure or a lack of gratitude on your part; it's what happens when your inner reality and your external limits are out of alignment.

You are not late. You are not broken. You are not asking for too much by wanting to be seen, known, and allowed to exist as yourself. Wanting tenderness and kindness is not weakness—it's a very clear signal of what you've gone without for a long time.

You will find people here who understand repression, compromise, fear, love, marriage, patience, and the quiet grief of years spent waiting. You don't have to rush, justify yourself, or decide everything right now. Connection can start exactly where you are.

You belong in this community, and you don't have to carry all of this by yourself anymore.

With love and support,
— Susan💜

[Lori Dee ✅]

Hello Gina,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for that wonderful introduction.

We strive to make this a safe space for you to find information and share your thoughts and comments. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

You will certainly find this a safe and supportive space with loving members. This website has been around a long time, collecting the real-life experiences of people from around the world. Our stories are not just here to track our journeys; they record our collective history and help others like you know that you are not alone.

As you read the experiences of others in their blogs and various replies, feel free to add your comments and experiences, too. We all learn from each other.

Now for the Guided Tour:

When you click on the HOME button, you will see a page listing all of the various sub-forums by category and topic. Each sub-forum has a description of what that forum is about, as well as any guidelines for posting.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC  Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add links below that are important for new and returning members.
Pay special attention to the links in RED.

If you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at LoriDee605@outlook.com.

Once again, welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

Things that you should read

• New Members... Please Read this First
• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By
• Site Policies and stuff to remember
• Membership Agreement
• Cautionary Note
• How to Contact Forum Staff Members
• Standard Terms & Definitions
• News posting & quoting guidelines
• Photos, avatars, & signature images

@FierceGina
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

[Pema]

Hi, Gina. Welcome to Susan's Place.

Thank you for telling us a bit about your circumstances. I think many of us here can relate in various ways to what you've described.

We are definitely here for you and for exactly the conversation you seek. I look forward to what comes next.

With love,
Pema

[Charlotte_Ringwood]

Hey Gina
Welcome and I'm sure you'll find exactly what you need here. I hope given time you can figure things out a bit more here.

Charlotte X

[Dances With Trees]

Welcome, Gina! A supportive wife is a great start!

[Alana Ashleigh]

Hi Gina

Alana

[tgirlamg]

Welcome Aboard Sister!

You have indeed landed in a wonderful place here where you will be heard and understood! You'll find many stories here of folks that have been in much the same place as you and found ways to make their life much more livable than it was before... There is no "one size fits all" approach but, you sound like you are ready to seek out your own unique answers to all of this... 🌻

May your path ahead be blessed!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

[Sarah B ✅]

Hi Gina

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

It's always wonderful to see a new member sign up with Susan's and I it's great that you spoke up and said what you are living with right now.  Knowing who you are from such a young age, carrying that quietly for decades and reaching the point where repression no longer works is something many of us here recognise.  It takes courage to name that out loud, especially when you are feeling trapped between love, loyalty and your own unmet needs.

It matters that you shared both sides of your situation.  Having a wife who supports your dressing is not nothing and it is okay to appreciate that while still feeling the ache of being unable to take medical steps you may want or need.  Those feelings can exist together.  Feeling suspended or limited does not mean you are ungrateful or unreasonable.  It means your inner truth is pressing up against real boundaries.

You will find women here who have lived with compromise, long marriages, patience, fear, hope, the quiet grief of waiting and separation.  There is no single right path and there is no deadline you have missed.  Many of us have found ways to grow, connect and feel more ourselves even when hormones were not possible or not immediate.  Small changes, honest conversations and clear ground rules can matter more than they first appear.

Susan's is a peacful place.  You do not need to justify yourself, rush decisions, know exactly where things will lead or even vent.  Connection can begin exactly where you are, with thoughtful conversation and kindness, just as you asked for.  In addition all you have to do is ask if you need help or guidance.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

You are not alone here and you are very welcome here.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@FierceGina