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Started by Dawn Kellie, February 07, 2026, 12:54:57 PM

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Lori Dee

Kellie,

What you are experiencing is absolutely normal, and something many transgender people can relate to.

And what you describe is textbook Gender Dysphoria, according to the DSM:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK532313/#:~:text=Gender%20dysphoria%20(GD)%2C%20according,termed%20%22gender%20identity%20disorder.%22 🔗

Gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults

A. A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender of at least six months duration, as manifested by at least two of the following:

A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or, in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).

A strong desire to be rid of one's primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one's experienced/expressed gender (or, in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).

A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender.

A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender).

A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender).

A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender).


Everything you just described fits the above criteria.
 
There's no backing out now. We got you, dear! You are one of us. One of us. One of us.
🤣
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

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Dawn Kellie

Thank you. Im actually tearing up.

I've had several health issues in my life with delayed diagnosis. Each time I've felt crazy. I've had nagging pains and just ignored them.
I didn't want to feel crazy again
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Lori Dee

No, you are not crazy.

Well, no more than the rest of us.

😁
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

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Dawn Kellie

Crazy can be a sliding scale. 🤣🤣🤣

It's like if you are a large person and you want to feel skinny. Surround yourself with larger people.  Than you look smaller

Ok maybe not the best example, it still makes me smile.

No one here is crazier than me. Or, we are all in the same assulum and we love each other so much we take the crazy away from each other
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Lori Dee

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on April 15, 2026, 07:59:35 PMwe are all in the same assulum and we love each other so much we take the crazy away from each other

I think you may have stumbled onto something there.

🙃
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
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Pema

Kellie, if you're asking whether you're transgender, I'm going to say you are if you say you are. From the things you've mentioned in this post and many others here, you have a lot more of the "classic signs" going for you than I do, and I got The Letter with my gender dysphoria diagnosis.

So there's the whole DSM definition of gender dysphoria, which is easily look-up-able. But then there's the more practical side of it: What are you looking for in the "transgender" label? If it's transitioning (HRT and whatever else you desire), you can do that without a GD diagnosis, but having the diagnosis makes it easier in many ways (e.g. insurance coverage).

If you're just wondering about whether you fit in a category, I guess I'd encourage you not to. That part doesn't matter (in my opinion).

But honestly, if you feel you're transgender, that combined with everything you've shared here persuade me that you are. But I'm not a licensed mental health care professional.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
 - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you evade suffering you also evade the chance of joy. Pleasure you may get, or pleasures, but you will not be fulfilled. You will not know what it is to come home."
 - Ursula K. Le Guin

Stottie Girl

From your posts it does seem like you are battling the same issues as many of us are which would put you firmly in the "probably transgender" bracket if such a thing exists. It is a spectrum though and there is no real clear definition in truth.

I think for many people, taking HRT can be a magic truth serum in some respects. When you start loosing your libido, having emotions burst from you, start breast budding and all the other little changes that happen early on, you should know whether it is for you or not.

It is possible to go on HRT without telling your wife and see if the initial changes match what you want from life. At that stage you can still choose. It may seem underhand but it is a way of getting a true feel for it without jepardising your relationship. I am assuming you aren't wanting any kids of course, If you do then there are other factors to consider. The initial changes are often reversible to a degree.

It can be dificult not to get caught up in the the excitement of it all but there is no reason to rush this. Take the time with your therapist, I would think that she will be able to give a verdict over time. Is she conversant with transgender issues or just a general therapist?
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley

Emma1017


And I'll add to the great things said already, you can be transgender and keep your private bits, too.

Gender is what's between your ears not you legs.


Dawn Kellie

Thank you all.
I was just having moments of questioning myself.
I'm transgender the thoughts of a more feminine form bring me joy. Seeing what I have done so far has made me more relaxed in my skin.
I hope what I'm feeling is just normal personal doubt, based on years of being told you have these bits you are this
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Gina P

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on April 16, 2026, 06:28:03 AMThank you all.
I was just having moments of questioning myself.
I'm transgender the thoughts of a more feminine form bring me joy. Seeing what I have done so far has made me more relaxed in my skin.
I hope what I'm feeling is just normal personal doubt, based on years of being told you have these bits you are this
I remember asking my therapist if this, wanting to be a woman was just a coping mechanism? His answer was do you have these feelings when you are under a lot of stress? 'Yes'! How about when everything is going well and there is low stress? Of course the answer was 'Yes'! It never truly went away and was always there. His response was, then you have your answer. To doubt, is to be human. We all experience it. Now if you didn't have doubts, I would worry.
🔗 [Link: wackypackagesforum.com]

Charlotte Kitty

I always like to reiterate too that high levels of dysphoria or any dysphoria at all are not requirements for you to be transgender. Of course this can affect you if you're seeking treatment from say insurance that may be strict, but you can certainly be trans with just gender euphoria. Also the feelings are so confusing at times. Dysphoria can present in subtle ways like just how you structure your life. You may be successfully diverting some dysphoria without thinking about it. I think I did this by wearing women's clothes and just being into the things I am whilst in boy mode without worrying. We all have such beautifully unique stories and feelings.

Charlotte X
Furry kitty gurl 😻
Genderqueer MTF
Lover of fashion and cute stuff!
Kawaii, Hello Kitty, Care bears 🐻

Lori Dee

My initial diagnosis came from a social worker in 2017. I questioned it, not believing that it was possible. She referred me to a psychologist who came to the same conclusion. Then I saw a psychologist through the VA (PhD level). He came to the same conclusion. My question to him was, Is there some kind of test that can prove this?

He said there was. Start on HRT for 30 days. If you feel like anything is wrong, stop immediately, and we will look for a different answer. After 30 days, I felt great and agreed to continue. He warned that after six months, changes become permanent, so pay close attention to how I feel about the changes that have started happening.

As Sarah mentioned, how you feel about the physical changes is a key indicator. Dysphoria can work in both directions. If you are not comfortable with the changes, or do not like what is happening to your body, those are dysphoria too and signal that this may not be the right path for you. Of course, I felt great and was happy with all that was happening, and never looked back. For me, it confirmed that I was on the right path and that the previous diagnoses were correct.
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
Donations accepted at: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SusanElizabethLarson 🔗

Dawn Kellie

First off I wish to thank everyone who made such wonderful and helpful comments.  I feel truly part of something and I get recharged every time I feel down or in doubt.

After reading the article Lori posted and just reviewing some of my life I really believe I have gender dysphoria. I had never stopped and sat down and thought about it. I could go into all the things as a kid and growing up I did and thought but that's not the important thing. My body just doesn't feel right. It's missing parts. I want to start HRT. I want to wear frilly clothes and have breasts. I want to be something different than I am. I've never been happy trying to be the rough and tumble kind.
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Stottie Girl

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on April 16, 2026, 11:39:59 AMFirst off I wish to thank everyone who made such wonderful and helpful comments.  I feel truly part of something and I get recharged every time I feel down or in doubt.

After reading the article Lori posted and just reviewing some of my life I really believe I have gender dysphoria. I had never stopped and sat down and thought about it. I could go into all the things as a kid and growing up I did and thought but that's not the important thing. My body just doesn't feel right. It's missing parts. I want to start HRT. I want to wear frilly clothes and have breasts. I want to be something different than I am. I've never been happy trying to be the rough and tumble kind.

Well, maybe speak to your therapist about how to take the next step. I'm not sure how it works in the US but in the UK you generally need to get a diagnosis before you can get HRT prescribed, unless you go DIY but I wouldn't advocate for that. Ask your therapist on your next visit if she can provide a diagnosis and if not can she refer you to someone who can.

It's normally psychiatrists or a clinical psychologist who do that in the UK but it might be different where you are.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Dawn Kellie

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 16, 2026, 11:58:06 AMWell, maybe speak to your therapist about how to take the next step. I'm not sure how it works in the US but in the UK you generally need to get a diagnosis before you can get HRT prescribed, unless you go DIY but I wouldn't advocate for that. Ask your therapist on your next visit if she can provide a diagnosis and if not can she refer you to someone who can.

It's normally psychiatrists or a clinical psychologist who do that in the UK but it might be different where you are.

Im not 100% sure on how it works. I will talk with her and start taking my next steps.
Thanks for being a friend
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Dawn Kellie

I'm looking into an online HRT. They do blood sampling with a local testing company. I can possibly use my insurance for the prescriptions.  They also offer a prescription by mail program.
I'm going to set up an appointment on Monday. I'll keep you informed
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

Dawn Kellie

Another work day. I've been here about 3 hours. I'm sweating and covered in dust.
I had always hoped I was retired or atleast in a comfortable job at my age. I got to go where the money is.
I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Much love to everyone
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

ChrissyRyan

Nice avatar of yours!  (April 18.2026)


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Dawn Kellie

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 03:27:36 PMNice avatar of yours!  (April 18.2026)


Chrissy

AI but I hope I'm getting closer to life
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Stottie Girl

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on Today at 03:33:19 PMAI but I hope I'm getting closer to life
Nice pic. Are you using your own pic as a reference image Kellie? I mean is that based on you?

Quite like the grey streaks actually.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee