Well, I had a lovely dream last night. I dreamt I was a RAF fast jet pilot. It felt so real. I remember having breakfast in the officers mess with my best friend Katie (I was her wingman) before going to a briefing and taking off on a training flight flying very low following Katie through the valleys and hills of the lake district. I remember my call sign was "little minx", Katie's was "bombshell" Which is daft as RAF pilots do not have callsigns like the US pilots do. I was sweeping over a town in the lake district where I often holiday before being woken up by my cat lucy jumping on me and purring in my ear! Thanks a bunch!
It is a poignient dream for me as I was Sarah in it the whole time, something that has been happening more frequently since I joined Susans Place. I hope I don't sound mad saying this but I feel like Sarah is becoming a real person inside my head rather than just a "what if" concept. I really feel like she is developing a personality of her own and she is starting to take over my dreams. I hope this doesn't mean I'm developing schizophrenia lol! I'm not sure if I am explaining that right.
It is also poignient as becoming an RAF pilot was my career path growing up. I was an air cadet when I was young and was in regular contact with the RAF careers office I even went down to RAF Leeming air base on a careers day where I got to meet frontline pilots, sit in an operational tornado jet, ate with the pilots in the officers mess, got a full base tour etc. Still the best day of my life so far.
On their advice I took recommended A levels and started a degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering (You needed either a science, engineering or mathematics degree). During my first year of uni I decided I wanted to get a head start and started learning to fly privately. Before I did my first solo I had to undergo an aviation medical exam and it suddenly dawned on me. If I joined the RAF I would have to have regular medical exams, I wouldn't be able to transition as I wouldn't be able to hide it and at the time female pilots weren't allowed to become fast jet pilots let alone transgender ones. Faced with a choice of having to bury my real self or continue on that path I decided I couldn't deny who I was and so I left University (I had no desire to be an Electrical Engineer) and tried to find a new career. It is the single biggest regret of my life as the RAF started allowing pilots to transition in 2011. I could have been a trailblazing pioneer!
I guess the point of all this is that despite all the negative media and anti trans rhetoric, young trans people have so many opportunities available to them these days. We cannot allow our rights and freedoms to be erroded back to where they were.
As for learning to fly, when I left University I had amassed 45 hours training, done at least 6 solo flights (3 crosscountry to visit other airfields) but hadn't taken the exams. After leaving my course I struggled to get a well paid job, moved out of home and could no longer afford it. So there I sit. The nearly girl.
It may have been a dream last night but it was nice to experience what could have been, if only for a moment.
Sorry for the lengthy ramble!
