Passing - such a wicked and complex issue

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Keep an open mind. There are many, many people who do not care about looks, are attracted to transgender women, and many who would love you for who you are, whether you pass or not. Do not think for a moment that you must look a certain way to be attractive.

I think you are adorable as you are, and we have never met!

I think there is someone out there for everyone that's for sure. Exactly this...you are perfect now or however you choose to be.

I guess it's more about you being ready and confident to take that step.

Charlotte 😻

[Stottie Girl]

Keep an open mind. There are many, many people who do not care about looks, are attracted to transgender women, and many who would love you for who you are, whether you pass or not. Do not think for a moment that you must look a certain way to be attractive.

I think you are adorable as you are, and we have never met!

Thanks Lori, you're too kind. But if I'm too afraid to go out because of what people will say behind my back, I'm not going to meet people in the first place. It's sort of a chicken and egg thing for me.

I truly wish I didn't feel this way but it is what it is. I should probably shut up now, I'm starting to depress myself never mind any of you!

[Stottie Girl]

I think there is someone out there for everyone that's for sure. Exactly this...you are perfect now or however you choose to be.

I guess it's more about you being ready and confident to take that step.

Charlotte 😻

Thanks Charlotte, I wish I felt it.

[Lori Dee ✅]

But if I'm too afraid to go out because of what people will say behind my back, I'm not going to meet people in the first place. It's sort of a chicken and egg thing for me.

If they talk behind your back, you will never know!
Not to make you paranoid, but they might be talking right now, and you didn't even notice.
My point is, so what? As the old saying goes:

"People are going to talk anyway, so give them something to talk about!"

OK, I'll leave you alone. I do understand what you feel, truly. I would never want to make it worse. You will build your confidence over time when you are ready. Just stay you.

[Karen_A]

 I just have one thing to say...

From what I have seen, acceptance as a person when people know is not uncommon (though that might depend on location), but true acceptance as a woman when people know is much rarer.

- Karen

[Courtney G]

I've spent countless hours performing music for tens of thousands of people (or more). Yes, I've been nervous at times but I've found my strength and the ability to control my nerves when I'm behind a drumset on a stage. But I feel a thousand times more vulnerable presenting as a woman. It's because I'm confident in my ability to perform music but not in my ability to perform femininity.

[Kristy7]

Charlotte,
The first time I went out as Kristy it was 1990 this was before I had a computer and the internet.
I thought I was the only person that was like me, a guy presenting as a female, I thought I passed which I didn't.
I went to a gay type bar figuring if I didn't pass I'd be excepted which I was I actually ran into and had a few drinks with 3 girls just like me.

I realized I wasn't the only one and I didn't pass. Now after all these years I except I don't pass and probably never will.

Now I simply do makeup and dress to blend in still pick and choose where I go as Kristy. I get it can be a cruel world no matter where you go someone may pick on you if it occurs I try not to let it bother me.

Consider this. If you present as a girl or a guy there may be some jerk that will say something to insult you. Again I pick and choose where I go as a girl or a guy.

[Stottie Girl]

Charlotte,
The first time I went out as Kristy it was 1990 this was before I had a computer and the internet.
I thought I was the only person that was like me, a guy presenting as a female, I thought I passed which I didn't.
I went to a gay type bar figuring if I didn't pass I'd be excepted which I was I actually ran into and had a few drinks with 3 girls just like me.

I realized I wasn't the only one and I didn't pass. Now after all these years I except I don't pass and probably never will.

Now I simply do makeup and dress to blend in still pick and choose where I go as Kristy. I get it can be a cruel world no matter where you go someone may pick on you if it occurs I try not to let it bother me.

Consider this. If you present as a girl or a guy there may be some jerk that will say something to insult you. Again I pick and choose where I go as a girl or a guy.

That is the right attitude in all honesty, I wish I could adopt it but I can't. I care far too much what other people think and my life has suffered as a result.

You are right, there will always be someone ready to cast insults at you whether you are a man or a woman or anything in between.

I just want to go about my day being unnoticed in the periphery and try to avoid any confrontations. Passing is my ticket to blending into the background which is why it is important to me.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Charlotte,
The first time I went out as Kristy it was 1990 this was before I had a computer and the internet.
I thought I was the only person that was like me, a guy presenting as a female, I thought I passed which I didn't.
I went to a gay type bar figuring if I didn't pass I'd be excepted which I was I actually ran into and had a few drinks with 3 girls just like me.

I realized I wasn't the only one and I didn't pass. Now after all these years I except I don't pass and probably never will.

Now I simply do makeup and dress to blend in still pick and choose where I go as Kristy. I get it can be a cruel world no matter where you go someone may pick on you if it occurs I try not to let it bother me.

Consider this. If you present as a girl or a guy there may be some jerk that will say something to insult you. Again I pick and choose where I go as a girl or a guy.

I just dont want to get into bother with anyone because I will stand up for myself and I will physically too if they take it that way. This never ends well and is not something i seek!

The big worry as always is confined places I cant avoid. Bathrooms!

Charlotte