How to handle the feelings of shame?

[tammy753]

Hi, I wasn't sure if this was inappropriate or not. I grew up in an area where people actively made fun of anyone not like them. I also had parents that did not approve of people like me. I struggle with feelings of shame for existing and when I make a step toward anything that makes me happy my mind goes into assault mode telling me I will never be accepted and I look ridiculous. Yes I am in therapy but have others worked through those thoughts and did they ever stop?

Sorry is this not appropriate.

 

[CosmicJoke]

Hi, I wasn't sure if this was inappropriate or not. I grew up in an area where people actively made fun of anyone not like them. I also had parents that did not approve of people like me. I struggle with feelings of shame for existing and when I make a step toward anything that makes me happy my mind goes into assault mode telling me I will never be accepted and I look ridiculous. Yes I am in therapy but have others worked through those thoughts and did they ever stop?

Sorry is this not appropriate.

 

Yes, I have definitely worked through those thoughts. I don't think they really completely go away. You just get mentally stronger and you learn how to handle them.

I think that's actually a very common response when you take a step toward happiness. We live in a society where it takes alot of courage to do just that.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think everyone experiences this.

Human beings naturally resist change. So, a change of any kind, whether relationships, jobs, locations, or lifestyles, can lead to second thoughts and doubt. Think of all the people who got cold feet right before getting married. It is perfectly normal.

As a member here used to say, everything you have ever wanted exists just on the other side of fear.

The key is to finally decide what you want, then set aside those doubts and go for it. It isn't easy. The hard part is making that decision.

[KathyLauren]

I can't point to a single event or learning that got me past the shame.  But one simple meditation definitely helped:  "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."