We laid in the sofa, close together, watching tv, lightly caressing each other and my wife asked if I'm feeling ok wrt my journey.
Me: I feel ok (exact translation is difficult but my answer meant that I am ok/good but the words chosen also indicate that I perhaps was not feeling great).
She: You know I want you to feel good. I don't want you to avoid things just to be considerate.
Me: I don't think I'm avoiding things just to be considerate.
Me: And how about you, how do you feel about it?
She: I'm ok. I see that you do some hidden and half-hidden things. Are you using femme undies every day?
Me: Almost every day. Is that a problem for you?
She: <Thinking for 1-2 secs> No, it is not a problem. The underwear used is not very important.
Me: You know I have said that the feeling in my mind is what is important.
She sees my hair that now has a definite androgynous touch unless I style it more strictly male, long-ish nails with polish, constant underdressing, my trousers and shorts that are androgynous and perhaps a little bit femme-ish and my femme sneakers, my sweatpants that I use anywhere and my wide-leg light pants used at home. She sees and smells my femme-ish perfumes and shower gel. She knows about my skin care routine. My lash/brow serum, lip gloss, brow pen and mascaras (clear and brown) are on the shelf in the bathroom and are visible unless she actively chooses not to look (for several months). I have a shirt and a blouse and a maxi skirt in my wardrobe, which she can see if she looks in there. She knows I have considered laser on my beard.
And she asks if I am holding back out of consideration for her. I choose to interpret that as loving, caring, supporting and to some extent perhaps also understanding (that this is for real and also a slippery slope).
