A week as a woman

[Finally Anna]

Have a nice Cruise!
🙂

Edit: Yes, I'm a bit envious.

[Jillian-TG]

The trip has gotten off to a great start. Our seats were upgraded for free when flying to LA (I bought basic seats and we were automatically allocated to premium economy seats). Car hire - they gave an upgrade because the basic cars were unavailable.

Cruise has been good - no negative interactions and my wife has been amazing. She's reminding me regularly that it's hard for her, so I'm being sure to let her know how much gratitude I have for her trying. I finally can see a light at the end of the tunnel. No guarantees but there's hope.

Tonight is formal gala night on the cruise. I told her I will change into men's clothes this evening for that. I know how much she loves elegant night and I want her to have times where she can also just enjoy herself with me. It's early days in this journey so no rush.

Thank you to all of you for your words of encouragement. You are such an amazing group.

[Finally Anna]

Cruise has been good - no negative interactions and my wife has been amazing. She's reminding me regularly that it's hard for her, so I'm being sure to let her know how much gratitude I have for her trying. I finally can see a light at the end of the tunnel. No guarantees but there's hope.

Sounds great!

Tonight is formal gala night on the cruise. I told her I will change into men's clothes this evening for that. I know how much she loves elegant night and I want her to have times where she can also just enjoy herself with me. It's early days in this journey so no rush.

Jillian, that is what a considerate spouse does - understand, adjust and care for their SO. Doesn't matter if you are cis or trans, understanding, adjustment and care is universal.


Enjoy! 💕

[Petunia]

Jillian, I'm glad you are having a good time.

I'm happy that your wife is accepting you and it sounds like you are doing a good job trying to keep her happy

[Jillian-TG]

A quick update on how things are progressing.
- my wife has been very good about things so far. I'm not wanting to paint a picture of everything being perfect but overall her attitude and actions have exceeded my expectations. She's alway been more of a "tolerate" than an "accept" person on me being trans. This trip she's gone the extra mile for me. I'm very grateful.
- I've stopped wearing my human hair wig because after a few days of constant wearing, the long hair against my neck caused a huge rash in the sides of my neck. Weird I know and very unexpected. So I ditched the wig but have continued to present as a woman (nothing over the top). Some people have used female pronouns while others have used male. I'm just going with the flow.
- passengers have generally been good. I get some double takes and I've only had one small incident that could be considered negative. A drunk guy at the bar with a group of friends made a loud comment about me being a guy wearing a wig (this was before I stopped wearing the wig). I ignored him and moved to the opposite side of the bar. His wife or girlfriend appeared to "shush" him and she gave me an embarrassed shrug of apology. My wife actually never realized it happened because she was on the other side of bar ordering drinks at the time. I didn't even mention it to her because she's still trying to come to terms with me being trans and us out in public. I wasn't going to make her worry or stress more.
- staff and crew continue to be awesome and so kind.

We have 3 nights left and I am continuing to enjoy the trip even though I do find it rather tiring and emotionally draining. It's weird because I desperately want to do this but also find it stressful.

[Jillian-TG]

What warmed my heart today was our port stop at Catalina Island. We walked around the town and I am presenting as a woman - nothing over the top but it's short denim shorts, pink flower flip flops, bright finger nails, jewelry and light make up... and my wife wanted to hold hands while walking. That warmed my heart.

Another random positive was at breakfast on the ship. The guy at the next table was a complete redneck cowboy type. He overheard our chat with the waiter that we are from Toronto. He makes a comment that our hockey team sucks! I thankfully realized that he was literally just doing a sports jab and nothing about how I looked. I engaged him and we had a good friendly chat. Not once did he seem weird about how I was dressed. I was literally shocked. I kept expecting him and his dad to shift the conversation to me being trans. Nope. We chatted about sports, politics and the economy. Some discussions around US and Canadian trade tensions. That was it.
There is hope for the world!

[bellesparkles]

Thank you for these updates! I really enjoy reading along with your journey and am so glad it's bringing you joy.

We have 3 nights left and I am continuing to enjoy the trip even though I do find it rather tiring and emotionally draining. It's weird because I desperately want to do this but also find it stressful.

Of course it's draining! So many extra things to keep in mind when you're (finally) executing these changes. How do you look, how do you move, how is your wife feeling, how will people react, etc. etc. etc. I'm already getting tired just thinking about it haha! I really hope you have some time to recover when you're back home, because I wish you all the enjoyment you can get on this trip.

[Lori Dee ✅]

and my wife wanted to hold hands while walking. That warmed my heart.

That made me smile just reading that. You two are going to be okay.

Not once did he seem weird about how I was dressed. I was literally shocked. I kept expecting him and his dad to shift the conversation to me being trans. Nope. We chatted about sports, politics and the economy. Some discussions around US and Canadian trade tensions. That was it.
There is hope for the world!

And you did something here that you may not have realized. You showed them that it doesn't matter how you look. You can still relate to them on their level and have an enjoyable conversation. If that person had never met anyone transgender before, he could very well start thinking that maybe we really are just regular people, living our lives, enjoying cruises, and discussing sports and politics WITHOUT FIGHTING.

Good job. And I am so happy you had good experiences from this.

[Finally Anna]

and my wife wanted to hold hands while walking. That warmed my heart.

💕

[Jillian-TG]

Another very positive update that I would like to share. Two nights ago we had dinner in the formal main dining room. Seated at the next table was a husband and wife couple. I was wearing a denim skirt and a frilly white blouse. My makeup was done nicely for the evening. No wig but my hair was blow dried nicely.

I immediately notice the woman at the next table staring at me. So does my wife notice. My wife mentions it to me and says the woman is whispering to her husband and gesturing towards me. I tell my wife to ignore her and we can just enjoy our dinner. I tried to downplay things just to ensure my wife remains comfortable. I act like nothing is wrong and try to tune the lady out. But it felt like she stared  at me for over an hour at dinner. They finished up before us and my wife and I both debriefed after they left. We assumed the lady is likely a conservative Bible Belt State person and very anti trans. Case closed.

It gets interesting last night when we are at one of the bars and the same lady comes over to us. She opens with "hello, I was seated next to both of you last night at dinner and need to tell you something..." and I'm thinking this is going to get real awkward real quick. She proceeds to first compliment my wife on how pretty she is and how nicely dressed she is. (This by the way is nothing new - I don't want to sound like I'm bragging but my wife gets what literally feels like a couple hundred compliments each cruise we go on. She's extremely pretty - people call her a real life Barbie doll and she dresses to the nines. So I wasn't surprised by the compliment to her from the lady despite her staring me down the night before).

The shocker was when she turns to me and says, "but to you have to say something..."

She then proceeds to apologize for staring too much at me but said she couldn't help herself. She said the reason she was staring so much was because of how beautiful I was and the way I had done my hair and makeup so she couldn't take her eyes off me - but not in a sexual way. She mentioned some country music woman that she said I'm the image of and she's a fan of hers and she thought I look like her! So that's why she was staring so much.  She proceeded to gush more and more. She gave us a hug and walked off. Just shows you never to judge a person by how they look because she really did look like that conservative Southern State woman.

[tammy753]

That's amazing! I love hearing stories like that. I have a general distrust of strangers so this makes my think there might be good people left in the world, I am still highly skeptical but you moved the needle 1%.

[Finally Anna]

Now that is an emotional high! Just fantastic, for you and for your wife.
🥰

[Jillian-TG]

That's amazing! I love hearing stories like that. I have a general distrust of strangers so this makes my think there might be good people left in the world, I am still highly skeptical but you moved the needle 1%.

I feel the same way and when I read social media threads on the trans topic it can be very disturbing. It seems like there are so many bigots and transphobes out there. But my real life "in person" experiences (although being a small sample) has generally been positive. And I've had a couple of very surprising "curve ball" moments on this trip like the conservative cowboy type guy at breakfast and then the lady at the opposite table at dinner.
I also realize that I need to learn how women communicate because I felt uncomfortable when the lady was commenting on me being beautiful. I know that's how women compliment one another but it's all so very new to me.

Babes steps for me.