Tammy's Crazy Ambitions (Sponsored by Self-Doubt)

[tammy753]

So, I think I am turning into my mother. Neither one of us ever really cared for me.

I seem to have all these grand ideas for projects. I get all excited and I buy everything. Then, I do this unbelievable thing that she was the absolute master of: I pack it all up, put it in a closet, and completely forget about it. When we moved, we found one of the most memorable examples of the massive number she left behind—a project to make stuffed animals for us when we were little kids. We were in our 20s at the time.

Last night at 3:00 AM, I woke up and realized I am doing the exact same thing. Except, I don't have her excuse of raising three children as a single mom—not that those things actually take up time or anything.

Currently, I have these tote bags with bands on them that I was going to convert into purses. I bought shoulder strap material, zippers, color-matched thread, organizers that fit perfectly, D-rings, and all the other necessary hardware. Then, I did the most amazing thing. I put all the materials in the bag and sat it on the back of my desk. It will be forgotten there until I either move, or my landlord gets complaints about the smell of my decomposing body and sends someone to clean out my apartment. I also purchased materials to build drawers in the back of my Jeep. The wood is currently neatly stacked in a storage unit, where it will likely rot and grow into a new tree before I ever get that project done.

I don't feel like I am making progress on my transition. My therapist rolls her eyes at me, so I think she likes me, LOL. She then says, "You are in therapy, on HRT, planning to move to a new city to transition, etc." I tell her I didn't do anything this week, which makes her sigh. Then, I see her eyes turn into dollar signs like some kind of Looney Tunes cartoon character. I think she has her eyes on a mansion someplace tropical, and my issues are so severe I will be in therapy until I have paid for it—and a yacht to take her there.

I am still employed, but you can tell I don't care at all about my job. I am failing to even pretend these days. I do get in a lot of snarky comments lately, so at least that gives me a reason to log in every day.

I am working on my writing. I hope you can tell—if not, just lie to me and tell me it's awesome. I do enjoy writing, but we all need to keep that to ourselves. If my therapist finds out she was right, she will want a raise and won't be around long enough to treat all my issues.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Your writing is awesome. I just billed your therapist $50 to say that, so if she raises your rate, sorry. 🤣

I do the same thing with starting something, then postponing it. I don't forget about it, as I fully intend to get back to it one day when all of the other interruptions get out of the way.

I still have my living room and kitchen full of camping gear that was supposed to be moved to the Jeep for a weeklong trip to do some prospecting. That got put on hold while I wait for the VA to send the paperwork for a surgical consult on my knee.

One of my workbenches is set up for jewelry making. I collected or purchased rocks and spent months polishing them to make into jewelry. Then I started watching tutorials on how to do wirewrap jewelry. I made about fifty pieces and gave most of them away as gifts. I haven't made any in the year that I have lived here, but my workbench is covered in polished stones, wire, and all the necessary tools.

I'll get to it one day soon. I hope.

[tammy753]

Your writing is awesome. I just billed your therapist $50 to say that, so if she raises your rate, sorry. 🤣

I do the same thing with starting something, then postponing it. I don't forget about it, as I fully intend to get back to it one day when all of the other interruptions get out of the way.

I still have my living room and kitchen full of camping gear that was supposed to be moved to the Jeep for a weeklong trip to do some prospecting. That got put on hold while I wait for the VA to send the paperwork for a surgical consult on my knee.

One of my workbenches is set up for jewelry making. I collected or purchased rocks and spent months polishing them to make into jewelry. Then I started watching tutorials on how to do wirewrap jewelry. I made about fifty pieces and gave most of them away as gifts. I haven't made any in the year that I have lived here, but my workbench is covered in polished stones, wire, and all the necessary tools.

I'll get to it one day soon. I hope.

Hmmm, so she is bribing you to get me to give her a raise, you say? Well played. She is very sneaky. She asks me about my week and then 10 minutes later we are talking about my childhood trauma, not the snarky comments I make to my coworkers in hopes of getting fired so I get severance.

Yeah, I think we need a new day called "Someday." It will come midweek—we can throw out Wednesday, it's a useless day anyway. We can make all employers pay their staff to do their long-forgotten projects. I would probably take a personal day to avoid doing my own projects, but it's still a solid idea.

If you find gold, will you use that to make jewelry, or will it just sit in the corner until the dust mites take over your house and start a jewelry factory? If you can tame them, they are free labor. They do eat dead skin though, so watch out—they might turn into bloodthirsty vampires and overthrow you.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I love the way you think!

I don't use my gold for jewelry for a number of reasons.

It is just nuggets and flakes and requires being smelted down into pure gold before it can be used for anything.

Gold is very soft. Jewelry-grade gold is not pure gold. It is an alloy to make it more durable.

I have always said that I won't sell my gold until I collect enough to fill a Mason jar. That hasn't happened yet. However, I did sell my gold in South Dakota to pay for a passport, pay off my old Jeep, buy new struts and tires for it, and cover my move to Colorado.

So it was worth starting over.