Tammy's Crazy Ambitions (Sponsored by Self-Doubt)

[tammy753]

Hi everyone!

My therapist challenged me to start this. I am emailing her a screenshot of this to prove I did it, not sure she will approve of the content but that is on her for not telling me what to write. She could have said be mature and write like a grown up but she just said start a blog so who is at fault here? Me I think not.

The CliffNotes on me:

• Age? Yes I am over half a century old quit reminding me.
  
• Agoraphobia? Check!
  
• HRT? YEP, 13 years, just added progesterone! Started regulated HRT almost a month ago through FOLX.
  
• Social Anxiety? Of course.
  
• Loves Tacos? Who doesn't!
  
• Jeeps? I love Jeeps. Be careful starting me talking about mine.
  
• Antidepressants? Can't you tell? Just in case: YES!
  
• Self Doubt? Did you see my current sponsor?
  

Tammy Dislikes:

• Pickles
• Herself (some days)
• Having to pee constantly (Thanks Spiro)
• Chicken (Wait don't go we can still be friends!)

Since I'm working on my social interactions from the comfort of my own cave, I'm using this thread to track my goals—no matter how chaotic they get. There will probably be other crazy ramblings and yes I will get excited about changes I make to my jeep (Second warning).

Here are the "Crazy Ambitions" I'm currently aiming for:

• Short Term Goal: Start Electrolysis and stop talking like Barry White.
  
• Jeep Goals: Lockers, New Fenders, Light bar to see the end of the tunnel, and a Re-Gear to make driving 70 impossible.
  
• Long Term Goal: Move to an accepting state where I can live as my true self.
  

Today's Ambition: Successfully launching this thread without closing the tab in a panic.

P.S. I almost named this thread "Brought to you by Lexapro and the number 8," but I am on my best behavior and would never put that in writing.

So there it is I have done my homework. Feel free to write back about Tacos or Jeeps (You have been warned!). You can even share your crazy ambitions here.

[Stottie Girl]

Yay! Tammy has a blog! Get in there!

I will definitely be popping in to see what's going on in your world and for a general natter!

Sadly I have never owned a jeep and I've never had a taco so I'm not much use for todays discussion lol!

I think you will find having your own space for random musings can be very helpful. Before I started mine I had never had any intention of writing a blog but now I can't imagine not having one. There is no right or wrong way to use yours, use it in what ever way feels natural.

[Maid Marion]

Hi Tammy,

What kind of tacos do you like?

The best kind I've eaten were in Northern California made with cilantro.
For a couple of years there was a couple from California who had a taco restaurant in the center of town withl good tacos.

Marion

[tammy753]

I am a little, ok a lot white trash, so a good Taco Bell taco is good. I did eat at this restaurant in Columbus that had great tacos but its been years and don't remember the name. I'm not sure what was on them now but I remember comparing everything to them for a long time.

[tammy753]

Yay! Tammy has a blog! Get in there!

I will definitely be popping in to see what's going on in your world and for a general natter!

Sadly I have never owned a jeep and I've never had a taco so I'm not much use for todays discussion lol!

I think you will find having your own space for random musings can be very helpful. Before I started mine I had never had any intention of writing a blog but now I can't imagine not having one. There is no right or wrong way to use yours, use it in what ever way feels natural.

Don't expect profound revelations maybe profoundly obvious ones to everyone else. Thanks I am not much for writing so expect bullet point posts since the words and me are not great acquaintances. If you are coming back for delusional thoughts and incoherent ramblings I'm your girl.

[KristaFairchild]

I'm rolling the red California carpet out toward you! Probably the most supportive state for LGBTQ+ in the union.  Policy wise anyway. Beware our Central Valley. 

[Lori Dee ✅]

Congrats, Tammy, on your very own blog!

I love the title and the way it started. Your therapist was correct that blogging can be very therapeutic. You don't need to give details or things you'd rather not discuss (it is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC FORUM after all). 🤣

I got my cargo rack and interior cargo shelf from Hooke Road. If you haven't heard of them, check out their Jeep accessories. Actually, truck and 4x4 accessories, but who cares about those?

Looking forward to following along here as you get settled in. Love what you've done with it so far.

[Stottie Girl]

Don't expect profound revelations maybe profoundly obvious ones to everyone else. Thanks I am not much for writing so expect bullet point posts since the words and me are not great acquaintances. If you are coming back for delusional thoughts and incoherent ramblings I'm your girl.

Ramble away Tammy, It's nice to have a home where you can download. Really, the blog is for you, not our entertainment.

[davina61]

Same for me I just unload what I have been doing, cant say I have eaten a Taco (or did I when I went to Florida in 80s?) . Have worked on Jeeps, WW2 ones when I had a garage (no I am not that old!) . I am a hot rodder so you get a lot of car stuff on my diary. Welcome to the rambling thread section.

[Captain.Val]

Hey Tammy, super cool and honest start to your blog. It's always the coolest peole having the most self-doubt. So yeah, I think you're cool!

[tammy753]

Thanks all! I hope my intro didn't rub any one the wrong way I have a dark sense of humor and usually very inappropriate. I really appreciate all the comments.

Now for the other things. This is Lori and Davina's fault.

I have a tower of boxes taller than me that are threatening to attack me. They are the new fenders for my Jeep from Black Mountain Jeeps. I am super excited since this is the next step in getting it ready for my move. They are 10" Flat Fenders which will restore my articulation and help protect my Jeep. I also have aluminum inner fenders for the front to replace the plastic ones. I am really nervous about installing them because it means drilling holes in my jeep, see what you did this is your fault. I am considering having them painted or wrapped to match my Chief Blue jeep but haven't decided, you didn't heed the warning. I am also going to take a saw to the center console, I have wide hips and the seatbelt digs into my hip so i am recessing it into the console so it will still work, seriously I gave you multiple warnings. Ok I will stop for now your welcome.

Any way I need to go pretend to be competent at my job. Starting this was scary for me. I always feel like my personality is a little overwhelming so I hope that isn't coming through.

[tammy753]

Same for me I just unload what I have been doing, cant say I have eaten a Taco (or did I when I went to Florida in 80s?) . Have worked on Jeeps, WW2 ones when I had a garage (no I am not that old!) . I am a hot rodder so you get a lot of car stuff on my diary. Welcome to the rambling thread section.

So I also have a Mustang GT in Fury Orange. I will admit it scares me some times. I don't drive it a lot and so when I get in it its a rocket ship. It has 460HP and I don't know how long it takes to get onto a freeway but I know I am still trying to get on faster. I usually have to let off part way down the on ramp not to break 88. I don't want to go back in time, I don't have a Doc Brown to save me.

[Captain.Val]

460 HP omg! You're safe from time travel though... as long as you don't switch on the flux capacitor.

[Lori Dee ✅]

460 HP omg! You're safe from time travel though... as long as you don't switch on the flux capacitor.

But if you need one, check out O'Reilly Auto Parts. 🤣

[tammy753]

But if you need one, check out O'Reilly Auto Parts. 🤣

ITS SOLD OUT! I bet someone bought one and then went back in time and bought the rest. Dang it who did it???

[Devlyn ✅]

Only one man.

[Captain.Val]

Hahahahahah

[davina61]

My hot rod friends just bought a UK spec 2016 GT convertible, had a ride the other day and it goes okay!

[tammy753]

Ok so here is a serious topic. I had a Dream last night, I was out as my true self just exploring the world and was extremely happy. For some reason i was wearing high heels and it was a focused part of the dream Then I ran into my family, my estranged sister pointed me out to them and I could see the anger on my mothers face and so I tried to get away i walked\ran as fast as I could until I was lost. I ended up at a huge crowded hotel and my shoes were gone but the impression of them was visible on my feet. I felt trapped and every one was staring at me.

I felt so ashamed and afraid. I also just wanted them to unsee me and felt like our relationship would never be the same.

When i say me family I mean people that are deceased too. Like my grandparent and parents....

This dream is haunting me today for some reason.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Don't panic.

Dreams are just a form of venting. I won't get into it if you don't want to, but basically, dreams are training your mind not to react to unimportant things. So, if you dream about it, that means your mind considered the scenario and decided it was nothing to worry about.