Tammy's Crazy Ambitions (Sponsored by Self-Doubt)

[Lori Dee ✅]

I agree with Davina.
Just do it and get it over with.

No Excuses.
No Regrets.
Make it Happen.

You've got this.

Just remember, you are only giving him information. What he does with it is up to him, not you. He might not be open at first, but he may later realize you are still the same person. Give him time to adjust and process it.

You have lived with this for years or decades. It is new information for him. Let him come to his own conclusions and adjust at his own pace. Answer his questions as honestly as you can. If you don't know the answer, say that.

This isn't something you chose. No one chooses to be transgender. It happened to us, and we are just making the best of it.

[tammy753]

I am going to go but I am stressing out about it. I am not telling him unless he asks but the fact that strangers can't tell what I am scares me a little. I also am not found of the idea of falling back on my previous way of acting to hide who I am. I know i am being silly but its how it is for me right now.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I am going to go but I am stressing out about it. I am not telling him unless he asks but the fact that strangers can't tell what I am scares me a little. I also am not found of the idea of falling back on my previous way of acting to hide who I am. I know i am being silly but its how it is for me right now.

That is just normal anxiety, Tammy.

All of us who came out to family went through the same thing. I actually expected my brother to be understanding, but nope. He has become a bigot in his old age. I gave him the information; he got angry and hung up. My last words to him were: I love you, Brother.

It hurt at first, but now I realize that I don't need negative people in my life. I can't force him to believe or accept anything. That's his job, not mine. Personally, I am happy not to have contact with him now. If he changes his mind someday, I will accept his apology.

Just relax and be yourself. The best thing you can do is not about what you say or how you say it. It's about being yourself and being open and honest about who you are.

Go easy on yourself.

[Devlyn ✅]

My brother was okay. Then he became a real jerk. Then he became okay again and it seems to be permanent. I lost zero hours of sleep while he worked out his attitude.

[Stottie Girl]

Hey Tammy, you absolutely must go in my opinion. We are at a similar level of transition and if you are anything like me, you are likely getting close to the point of total male fail. You have a golden opportunity to have a memorable time with your brother just as the old you (assuming that is what you want to do), the next time around it may be totally out of your hands whether you tell him as it will be obvious to all who see you. That's not to put any pressure on you of course, tell him when you are good and ready and not before would be my advice unless he asks directly.

Try and get past the anxiety and whatever you do don't bail on him, you will end up regretting it I'm sure. Just enjoy your time with him and if the timing feels right, tell him, if not, treasure the memory in case he reacts badly when you do.

My two cents, not saying it's right or anything but that is what I would do.

You've got this.

[tammy753]

I am going and my anxiety is passing a little. I am a planner so as I get things ready tonight I will probably be ready. I dug out the guitar I am giving my niece. I used to buy part online and build them so I think she will be excited. I bought her a bigger amp and other things to get her started. So I am focusing on getting stuff ready which is helping.

She is 20 or so. Not sure its the style she will like but I think its cool. Its Telecaster in metallic purple with Gold hardware. I had thought about building guitars for a living but there is no money in it. Wow another side tangent. I also drank root beer today...nope that isn't a tangent worth of discussion.

Any way I appreciate the advise I am the type that images all the worst possibilities and then dwells on them for days. Hopefully I can get past it with out my therapist. I can't afford a third mansion.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Purple Telecaster with gold trim? If she doesn't like it, I can find it a good home...

On my wall. (I don't play, but I love the sound.)

[tammy753]

I am a terrible player as well but I love building them. I think its because I love music and I can create something that enables that or I love spending money. I really hope its not the second one.

I should have warned you this is like a Jeep topic with me.

I have built\assembled or repaired over the years. I had this plan before COVID that I was going to build one Purple Guitar with Gold hardware in the most popular styles. Then Covid hit and the suppliers stopped making some of the bodies I could afford. Add to that my advanced aging hands I have moved on. I do have parts for a couple more guitars that I will build someday. I think they might have routed and sprouted but I hope not. They won't be as cool as this one is to me but I never made anything for her so this feels like a filling in that missing piece. I built things for my other Nieces and Nephews back when my Grandfather was still around but she was born right before I took this job and I never got to it before he passed and we had to sell the workshop.

Wow see what happens when you leave me unattended. I blame Sarah and Lori.

[Stottie Girl]

What did I do like? 🤣🤣! Nowt to do with me!

Seriously though, you are a woman of many talents Tammy! Some of them are even useful🤣

[Petunia]

Good luck tonight Tammy. Just do it and get it over with.

[tammy753]

I just got back and we had a good day. We didn't to the entire trail I planned but we say around and talk about nothing for 3 hours. I didn't tell him but we sat by the water all day and had lunch. I brought my portable fridge and food so we could just relax.

Quick tip don't fill the fridge to top it makes them heavy. I might need to repeat Physics or science. Maybe just common sense, is that a class?

I didn't take many pictures so nothing to share that way but it was a fun day. Thanks for the encouragement even if I didn't want to hear.

Next time do the same think just know I will still try to find a way to weasel out of going.

[Stottie Girl]

I just got back and we had a good day. We didn't to the entire trail I planned but we say around and talk about nothing for 3 hours. I didn't tell him but we sat by the water all day and had lunch. I brought my portable fridge and food so we could just relax.

Quick tip don't fill the fridge to top it makes them heavy. I might need to repeat Physics or science. Maybe just common sense, is that a class?

I didn't take many pictures so nothing to share that way but it was a fun day. Thanks for the encouragement even if I didn't want to hear.

Next time do the same think just know I will still try to find a way to weasel out of going.

Nobody says you have to tell him right now. You can tell him in your own good time when you are good and ready Tammy. I am master of not telling anyone! I'm a total chicken! (ooh sorry, I know chicken is a dirty word for you🤣)

I'm chuffed to bits you had a lovely day together. You were so full of anxiety I'm glad it all went well. Onto the next challenge!

[Lori Dee ✅]

Congrats on a great day, Tammy!

As Sarah said, all in YOUR time. You'll get there when the time is right.

[davina61]

See there was nothing to worry about, I got told when I started work by the old boys" you die if you worry, you die if you dont so why worry"

[tammy753]

As I said, yesterday was my trip with my brother. We did a trail ride, then we pulled into a spot next to a bridge overlooking a beautiful tire sticking out of the muck. It was just upriver from a modern art exhibit of a washer drum that had been placed strategically next to the shore to make sure it was easy to photograph. All of these amazing sights sat proudly beneath a spray-painted mural of the F-word on the side of the bridge. The view was spectacular!

Seriously though, it was a great spot and we had a good time talking about nothing. He wants to do something like this every year, dammit. LOL

It was a great day and I am glad I went.

Today I have been training someone to do my job. I think this is them prepping my replacement. I am hoping to get severance if that is true. My boss says it's not that, but I don't know if I trust him. He did smirk and I heard a loud laugh after we hung up the call—they may have been in my head, though.

Some advice: I order garbage bags from Amazon cause... well, I don't know why. Anyway, since I was ordering something, I thought I would order some Sun Chips (For those that don't have these, they are crisps that are covered in various artificial flavors and they pretend to be healthier than regular crisps, but they aren't). Anyway, do you know what happens when you put chips in a box with a roll of 30, 30-gallon trash bags? You get chip powder. You will need a spoon and determination to eat them. Does anyone know how many spoonfuls of chip powder equals 14 chips? AI tells me it's 3 to 4 level spoonfuls, but that clearly assumes a uniform powder size. I'm guessing Amazon just wants me to buy a food scale to control my chip powder intake.

Not feeling very feminine today. I just feel like a blob that sort of resembles a human that is really tired and wants a nap. So today's blog is done. At least I tried to teach something this time.

[Stottie Girl]

As I said, yesterday was my trip with my brother. We did a trail ride, then we pulled into a spot next to a bridge overlooking a beautiful tire sticking out of the muck. It was just upriver from a modern art exhibit of a washer drum that had been placed strategically next to the shore to make sure it was easy to photograph. All of these amazing sights sat proudly beneath a spray-painted mural of the F-word on the side of the bridge. The view was spectacular!

Seriously though, it was a great spot and we had a good time talking about nothing. He wants to do something like this every year, dammit. LOL

It was a great day and I am glad I went.

Today I have been training someone to do my job. I think this is them prepping my replacement. I am hoping to get severance if that is true. My boss says it's not that, but I don't know if I trust him. He did smirk and I heard a loud laugh after we hung up the call—they may have been in my head, though.

Some advice: I order garbage bags from Amazon cause... well, I don't know why. Anyway, since I was ordering something, I thought I would order some Sun Chips (For those that don't have these, they are crisps that are covered in various artificial flavors and they pretend to be healthier than regular crisps, but they aren't). Anyway, do you know what happens when you put chips in a box with a roll of 30, 30-gallon trash bags? You get chip powder. You will need a spoon and determination to eat them. Does anyone know how many spoonfuls of chip powder equals 14 chips? AI tells me it's 3 to 4 level spoonfuls, but that clearly assumes a uniform powder size. I'm guessing Amazon just wants me to buy a food scale to control my chip powder intake.

Not feeling very feminine today. I just feel like a blob that sort of resembles a human that is really tired and wants a nap. So today's blog is done. At least I tried to teach something this time.

Ha You've seen my chunky arms in my pic Tammy, I feel like a vaguely human blob everyday!

Hmm chip powder? Make some chilli, grate some cheddar on top and sprinkle the chip powder over it? Might be an idea maybe?

Nice to see you have your humour back sis.

[tammy753]

Nice to see you have your humour back sis.

Thanks or I am sorry. I don't know I do have a straw so might just snort the Sun Chips. I think I have a razor blade around here to cut it into lines. What do you think is in the Cheese powder they coat them with? Its highly addictive so this may be a bad plan.

[Mariah ✅]

I don't blame you for not trusting him. These days I'm of the mindset that I can not trust someone further than I can throw them which in his case wouldn't be possible. Having said that, I too hope I'm wrong and that it is just as he stated not the case. I hope all works out well for you. Hugs
Mariah

As I said, yesterday was my trip with my brother. We did a trail ride, then we pulled into a spot next to a bridge overlooking a beautiful tire sticking out of the muck. It was just upriver from a modern art exhibit of a washer drum that had been placed strategically next to the shore to make sure it was easy to photograph. All of these amazing sights sat proudly beneath a spray-painted mural of the F-word on the side of the bridge. The view was spectacular!

Seriously though, it was a great spot and we had a good time talking about nothing. He wants to do something like this every year, dammit. LOL

It was a great day and I am glad I went.

Today I have been training someone to do my job. I think this is them prepping my replacement. I am hoping to get severance if that is true. My boss says it's not that, but I don't know if I trust him. He did smirk and I heard a loud laugh after we hung up the call—they may have been in my head, though.

Some advice: I order garbage bags from Amazon cause... well, I don't know why. Anyway, since I was ordering something, I thought I would order some Sun Chips (For those that don't have these, they are crisps that are covered in various artificial flavors and they pretend to be healthier than regular crisps, but they aren't). Anyway, do you know what happens when you put chips in a box with a roll of 30, 30-gallon trash bags? You get chip powder. You will need a spoon and determination to eat them. Does anyone know how many spoonfuls of chip powder equals 14 chips? AI tells me it's 3 to 4 level spoonfuls, but that clearly assumes a uniform powder size. I'm guessing Amazon just wants me to buy a food scale to control my chip powder intake.

Not feeling very feminine today. I just feel like a blob that sort of resembles a human that is really tired and wants a nap. So today's blog is done. At least I tried to teach something this time.