Was this a hard decision for you to make or not?

[CosmicJoke]

Hi everyone. I realize there are some people that may say "No, it was the easiest decision I ever made." Personally it was a very hard decision for me whether or not to transition. I can't say that I regret doing it but there was alot of thinking that I did beforehand.

Now I am pursuing vaginoplasty at this point. I guess this decision kind of finalizes it for me that I am going to be a woman. I know this is exactly what I want but I would be lying if I said I am completely fearless about this decision.

This is mostly just me reflecting on my own transition a little. I am just curious what some of your experiences are? Was transition a hard decision for you to make? Maybe you are considering transitioning and are currently trying decide whether to do it or not?

Any additional thoughts on this would be appreciated!

[Laura Squirrel]

The only other choice I had was death. It was that simple. Had I not come out at age 29, I would've been dead by 30 or MAYBE  31. No question about that.

[Finally Anna]

Coming out? Transitioning? Not the same.

I had to come out at the young age of 62. The direction was towards eternity so it was most likely a matter of life and death. Denial and suppression held for 50 years but then caved.

Transitioning? The jury is out, on this. Some level of social transition is in the cards and kind of ongoing. Physical transition via hrt and/or surgery is not certainly needed.

[big kim]

I would have died had I not transitioned. Not by my own hand, I'm a coward. My behaviour was more and more out of control and dangerous. I drank like a fish, did tons of speed,weed and coke then something to knock me out to sleep. Drove like Steve McQueen in Bullitt, rode my Triumph Bonneville like Godzilla was chasing me. Got into fights hoping I would be killed or dying  in a car or motorcycle accident.
Self medicated at 32 and did electrolysis, started growing  my hair out.
Cut back my drugs to a little  weed and a dab of speed at weekends. Started drinking  sensibly. Transitioned a few days before my 34th birthday. Post op at 37. Somehow made it to 68!

[Alana Ashleigh]

I never had a plans on taking hrt when I realized I was transgender. I got to the point where I couldn't function and was a mess, and figured I didn't have anything to lose by trying hrt. Fortunately, hrt helped me, even though I haven't fully transitioned.

[Maid Marion]

There is a lot involved in social transitioning, as women are constantly judged by a different set of rules.  As a young looking small petite women with an hourglass figure I score rather high, enough to be noticed by both men and women.  Many older women fade into invisibility.  I am young enough to confidently shop for groceries in heels yet old enough to have learned the walk, talk, mannerisms, and social knowledge expected of women where I live.

[Lori Dee ✅]

It was very hard for me. I was first diagnosed in 2017, and I rejected the idea. Then two different psychologists came to the same diagnosis. I wasn't ready to accept it. The last psychologist asked me why I rejected it, and my answer told him that I had no clue what being transgender meant.

I spent two more years in therapy with him as he explained what I misunderstood and shot down myths and disinformation. Then I asked him why he thought I was transgender, and he explained various behaviors since I was a child that I had told him about, and showed how those connected to his diagnosis.

Eventually, I saw what he saw, and what others had seen as well. Then therapy was about: now that I know this, what do I do about it? More therapy to discuss options, possible outcomes, obstacles, available services, and support.

Eventually, I decided that if this is who I am, then so be it. After that, I stopped questioning it. It became about what I could afford to do and what I wanted to get done.

[KathyLauren]

The hard part for me was admitting to myself that I was transgender.  I was 61 when that happened.  Then, I spent a few months trying to decide if I should/could/would transition.  I put a bit of effort into that thought process.  The deciding factor was that, although I had never felt suicidal, I could not guarantee that that would remain the case if I didn't transition.  Getting to that decision point was hard, but once I was there, it was a no-brainer: I had to do it.

Once I came out to my wife the process was quick, though not rushed.  All the decisions seemed obvious: HRT, social transition, surgery.

[tammy753]

I am still struggling with it. I wish I could just do it but I was raised in a way where I am ashamed of who I am. Therapy is in progress...

[Lori Dee ✅]

I am still struggling with it. I wish I could just do it but I was raised in a way where I am ashamed of who I am. Therapy is in progress...

Trust me, Tammy. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a beautiful person, and that won't change with transition.

[Sarah B ✅]

Hi Everyone

Was this a hard decision for you to make or not?

Well, as Cosmic said, "the answer for some will be no." She is right in the sense that it was not hard for me.  In fact, it was really very easy.  Even then I did not decide anything about who I was.  What I mean by that is that I did not decide to become female or to become a woman.

Yes, I changed my life around in February 1989.  I moved and began working in another state.  As far as living my life as Sarah was concerned there was no gradual process.  One day I put on my clothes, did my makeup and hair then went back to work as Sarah.

The reason was simply that I wanted to live my life as Sarah.  Another way of saying it is that I wanted more of what I had experienced during my holidays over the two Christmases prior to February 1989.

The question remains: why was it so easy?

There are a couple of reasons.  I wanted to wear female clothing because it felt right.  I wanted HRT because I wanted breasts.  I wanted surgery because I wanted to function as any other woman in society.  I realised that particular point much later on.  So the decisions about those things were very easy for me.

The underlying reason behind all of this is something I only realised a couple of years ago, I think.  It was because I was always female.  That understanding stems partly from an incident when I was standing in front of a pile of clothes and wanted to look for female clothing.  Why would a child of four or five in my circumstances want to do that?

So no, there was no decision to become who I am today because I did not become female.  I was always female.  I simply stopped living the way I had been living and started living my life as Sarah.

So no, it was not hard.  For me it was extremely easy.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@CosmicJoke

[Finally Anna]

Coming out? Transitioning? Not the same.

I had to come out at the young age of 62. The direction was towards eternity so it was most likely a matter of life and death. Denial and suppression held for 50 years but then caved.

Transitioning? The jury is out, on this. Some level of social transition is in the cards and kind of ongoing. Physical transition via hrt and/or surgery is not certainly needed.

So, to answer the question: In hindsight the coming out was 50 years in the making and it was both easy and hard.
Easy because I finally "came home" and the psychological pains (with some physical harms) that had accompanied me just vanished.
Hard because of the possible social side effects related to coming out.
Unknown due to physical transition uncertainty.
🥰