Ok, when it comes to dating relationships and starting those relationships I can be pretty dense. Always have been, though i'm getting better. So today's humiliation might very well been my fault.
You see, when I was starting this semester a few weeks in I asked one of my known lesbian friends out. She was cool and she seemed interested. But she had just broken up with her girlfriend and didn't feel comfortable dating me then. I nodded and said sorry, and went on.
Now since its been a hectic semester I haven't seen her all that much. Today I caught up with her, and we exchanged numbers and myspace addresses so we can stay in touch. Then we started talking, and I brought up that someone thought we should be dating since we both are sarcastic as hell. I simply brought it up because I found the concept of dating someone just because they were as sarcastic as you to be funny. She asked who and I told her who I thought it was, but I couldn't remember to clearly. She said she wan't looking for anyone and I told her I was the same since I had just had my own breakup. Then she invites me to play badmitten with her friends. I agreed, it beat sitting in my dorm alone and sounded fun.
So after playing for about an hour and a half straight, and having alot of fun, we are getting ready to go. A guy who I knew but couldn't remember his name pulls me aside. He says that Cortnie had asked him to tell me that she didn't feel comfortable with all the advancements. He had this big brother and protective air about him as he did this, so I knew it was serious. I responded that I didn't know what she could mean, I had only asked her once. But I made it clear that the middleman was not wanted or appreciated.
So then I confront her in the lobby, and she said not to involve the guy that had approached me. I informed her that next time to tell me, and that he had said she had put him to it. I also told her that to the best of my knowledge I had only asked her out once. She denied it and said she didn't want drama. I wanted to yell at her why I was so upset, but in the school's gym in the lobby did not seem the time or place. Losing my cool would be worse.
But I wanted to tell her that the guy had almost made me drop him and run in a panicked state. I wanted her to know that I still don't trust men fully, and having been raped was a big part of that. Had this guy made one movement towards me that is exactly how I would have acted. So basically by having or allowing him to play protective of her almost got him hurt. It also hurt and humiliated me because it meant for whatever reason she could not tell me what was going on. Not only that, but basically the middle of the gym was the best place for this to get resolved.
So yeah, i'm hurt and angry, and made an excuse for myself so I could leave the group. I don't know where we stand as friends, and I don't know how i'm supposed to resolve this. My day had been looking up when this happened.
