"Carry letter"

[Melissa]

I agree that there are not many situation they are useful in, I still can see how they could be potentially useful in a few, like jail.  Just because you don't get pulled over by police everyday, doesn't mean you should drive without your license.

Melissa

[Sheila]

I had a letter something similar to that. I got my hormones with it and I also, with my name change document, got my DL changed and everything else. I did carry it around for a long time even after SRS. I even carried my surgery paper around for about 6 months. It wasn't until a lady that I worked with said why do you do that. She told me that if anyone approaches you on that matter, just do what any other woman would do, tell them to f___k off. So I took my letters and filed them in my file cabinet. Made my purse a whole lot lighter. Oh, and by the way, I was approached while in transition. Only one time and nothing became of it. It happened at the Mall. A security guard asked me why I was in the womans restroom. We went to see his boss, on my recommendation, and he was told that he wasn't the potty police. He said that right in front of me. I had told them that I had papers to prove that I'm going through the transition phase, but the man in charge said he didn't care to see them as he believed me. His only concern was that I was trying something when we first walked into his office and after a few minutes it was over with. The security guard was in trouble.
Sheila

[angelsgirl]

Throwing my two cents in here, Steph, it's really the cashiers and bartenders asking for ID if you look under 30 and want a pack of cigarettes or an alcoholic beverage or to see an R rated movie.  Me and Lynn can hardly do anything when she's dressed because of the ID problem.  Not that any one has turned her away but that's mostly because she's too afraid of being outed to ask for a drink when we're out.  I doubt that such a paper would make a difference in that kind of situation, but I think for things that are more serious (i.e. anything with the police involved) I'd have to agree with Melissa on that it's better to be safe than sorry.

[umop ap!sdn]

I have one and make sure to have it with me when I'm in public dressed as a woman. I figure any instance where I have to show an ID is going to out me anyway, but once I have my name change finalized and a new ID card if anyone mentions the M I can just say "oops looks like I need to go have that fixed." And that's not even untrue in the long run; fortunately the state I was born in will change the gender marker on birth certificate for a post-op.

(I have got to find out what DMV's policy on ID cards is here in Arizona. It'd be really great if all it takes is an orchi, as I'm considering getting one anyway.)

[Melissa]

Well, I just got my new therapist to write me a carry letter and an ID change letter (for gender marker) today and he'll mail it to me.  I can use the carry letter until I get my new ID.


P.S.  I love your picture angelsgirl.  You are sooo cute. 

Melissa

[stephanie_craxford]

I can see where there is much fear in the US as there seems to be a lot of discrimination, even from the police, but I also understand that this is not widespread and varies from State to State.

One way to counter the need to have carry papers is to get your name changed before you start full time.  This doesn't happen over night but should be time to be in effect/approved around the same time that you go full time, and make sure it's changed on all your documents ID's, D/L's, SSN's and what ever else you carry, credit cards etc...  Going out dressed is all well and good, testing the waters, gaining confidence etc.  But if the fear of being discovered is becoming a road block, keeping you locked up in your own prison then what's the point.

Steph

[Leigh]

Everyone seems to have their panties in a wad about a carry letter.  Whats the worst that can happen?  You might be embarassed.

You might want to worry about being incarcerated instead.  In you still have one the best you can hope for is confinement in solitary.  The alternative is being in general lockup with others that have the same equiptment.  Only if you are a postie will you be with other women.

Research your local laws and see if they have special rules.

Leigh

[Melissa]

Exactly what I've been saying Leigh.

Melissa

[carol_w]

Like others on this board, I have one, too.  In the south-central US, where things can get a bit rural at times, it's an absolute must.  You never know when you might encounter "redneck" attitudes in case that you're pulled over by a cop.  Or, if a lady in a restroom objects to your using it. 

By the way, I'm VERY MUCH part-time at best.  But my "carry letter" is my purse ready to go when I am.

Carol

[LostInTime]

angelsgirl,

I have an ID problem as well and still fighting the state to get the DL changed.

For ordering a drink... What I do is just order with confidence.  Sometimes I am asked for ID and I make a show of taking out my government ID, social security, and digging through the purse.  I then come up empty, apologise, and order a diet coke.  Most times the manager will give the okay for me to be served.

[Melissa]

I got my carry letter in the mail on Saturday.  Here's what it says:

June 15, 2006

To whom it may concern:

Melissa [Last name] is a male-to-female transsexual in the process of transition from one sex to another. During this process her documentation may be in the name of either Melissa or [Male Name]. Some of her identification may say "male" and some may say "female," until such time as she is able to fully change all appropriate documentation legally. In all situations she is to be considered female, not male.

Any questions may be directed to me at (XXX) XXX-XXXX or via e-mail at xxxxx@xxxx.xxx

Sincerely,

[Therapist Name]

I crossed out any identifying info, since I may eventally want to try and scrub my name from the internet.  I also bolded my favorite part.

I'll be able to get my DL changed next month.

As for the alcohol, there's a simple solution to that.  Don't order any.  That's what I do, or I go to a GLBT bar where they don't ask for ID, since they know it would be upsetting.

Melissa

[angelsgirl]

Surprisingly, they ID even more at the gay bar because of the problem they've had with underage drinkers, and if you're in a dress everyone assumes you're a guy underneath it, anyway so she doesn't care about the ID too much.  It really must throw them for a loop when the both of us show up in a skirt!

Anywhere else that we drink, the ID thing can get pretty embarrassing, and because she's 22 (and looks younger than that) she gets carded more than I do.  Although, at one of the bars they've stopped asking because she used to go as Josh all the time and I think they figured it out and stopped badgering her after I made a few indignant comments.

I think it'll be much easier when she goes full-time and has her ID changed.  I can't really see what a carry letter will do in the bar situation, anyway.  I'm just griping 'cause I can.  >

Melissa: Thank you for your nice comment on my avy.

[Melissa]

You're right, a carry letter wouldn't do much in a bar, since they'll treat you how they want regardless.  Like I said though, don't drink.  It will save embarrassment, money, and health.

Melissa

[angelsgirl]

Like I said though, don't drink.  It will save embarrassment, money, and health.

Yes, yes, but all of those things are so terribly boring! 

But seriously, I feel bad when Jocelyn is the only one not getting to have a single drink because of the ID issue.  At home, we hardly ever drink.  It's part of the fun in going out!   I just don't like her being left out (again) because of her condition.

[Melissa]

Ah, I see.  Well, have fun with it then.  If Jocelyn passes well, it's fun to see looks of surprise.  If it makes Jocelyn feel bad, maybe updating the picture on the ID might work.  Your not trained to look at the gender on ID.  I know since I have 2 bartending licenses.

Melissa

[angelsgirl]

Ooooh! That's a really good idea!  They might notice that the name isn't a girl's, but it's better than the current picture in which she's sporting a goattee (she was trying to "blend in" with regular guys at the time).  Thanks!