well, i really don't know where to start i have so much bitching i really want to do. it seems like one thing gets better and three more things just fall completely to pieces. we recently lost a big chunk of our food stamps as we are like way below poverty level even with both of us working and two kids, even worse with a third on the way...her job i would love to have but probably can't because they wouldn't be as respectul of my status, but the ladies do call me Mickie, which is a start. i wish my friend would calling me M*** because he never really existed. i wish my wife could stuttering over she when referring to me, trust me i know it's hard for her, but it's why i never wear a dress when out with her, i am so totally afraid i'm going to get my butt kicked because of her. i'm not saying it's her fault, but i do have a name too. the guys in the shop are complete jackasses, i got one to refer to properly for like half an hour and then after that it was over. i wish when people saw or heard my so on the phone, it wouldn't automatically confuse an entire store. i'm afraid to even go in the women's restroom tho i shouldn't have a problem but all it takes is one, i do feel like less of a woman because i can't even trust my so to say she when in the restroom with her cause i know what will happen. i can't stand it when cutomers refer to me properly, but the guys in the shop just go on and on like it's not an issue. i know i really didn't have much of a choice to take weeks off of work like some, i had to do it on the job, i have kids to feed, and it's even harder since they've started to cut her hours and not even give her a 90 day evaluation after being there almost 7 months. and they make her schedule so i can't even work, cause i have to at least be on the schedule for at least for hours or the computer rejects it.
i'm not here to badmouth my so, but that's what she'll think this is if she ever reads it....she has these double standards...she says she is fine going out with me in public as a woman and showing me affection but we don't really get to do it all that much she always wants to put our son down and then he just wants to wander wherever as fast as he can so i have to chase him. i don't like chasing kids, and it's even worse when in heels. i give her some credit tho, every now and then she does good, better than she should i think. when my daughter was in the hospital, the nurse asked who was with my daughter, and she didn't hesitate to say my mom, my dad and my aunt. i wasn't paying any attention at the time, but my so said the hurse looked her up and down, looked me up and down and i think was completely confused but i guess came to the conclusion that "dad" would be along later. my wife said she stood there silent cause she wasn't saying a word, and i agree with her, not everybody needs to know, nor could she say, she's dad either at least not yet. i really don't think it would have mattered to her(nurse), but she just can't do it yet. later on the same day, we were all sitting in the pre-op room and and another nurse came in and asked which one of us was mom,(by this time sis had shown up) and we both pointed to my so...lol. then she had to be discharged later the same day and a different nurse had come in, by this time my so had had to leave for work and she asked who mom was...and we both responded in unison that mom had left and she asked if anyone could sign, and i responded that i was dad and would have to, but it kinda pissed me off that she spoke primarily to sis, my daughter was coming home with me, i was actually quite upset and felt like saying, look, lady she's going home with me, not her, talk to me, i didn't read the discharge papers until later when my wife got home from work and it said the person that accompanied her through discharge was mother and i was like you weren't even there...lol. she figures they already had the paperwork made up, but you never know, they saw three blondes, one of them has to be mom right?
i think i'll end this now..i'm actually quite tired....
Warrior Princess,
Mickie
