For anybody who's interested, I happened to discuss this topic with my therapist earlier this week. (I started seeing a therapist a couple of months ago to lay to rest some childhood ghosts and it has continued into 'improving life' stuff.)
I am 59 and I find that most men in my age range are REALLY narrow minded and homophobic. For them, finding that they are seeing someone who wasn't "born normal female" can be quite disturbing so my last session dealt with how to bring it up with a man without panicking him.
My therapists' advice was "go slow, in small steps, watch his reaction, and don't go to the next step until he is ready". As she said, we have had years to adjust to all this and think about it so it is going to take some time for the guy to comfortably cover the same ground.
Her suggested steps were:
1 - let him get to know you and avoid any emotional connection for awhile (both ways)
2 - go some place where you are likely to encounter Gays, Lesbians, or other "non-standard people" and see what his reaction is. Make a favourable comment to show your openness (if you have to) to see how he feels about such things
3 - don't just TELL him about your past in one great swoop - lead into it slowly. You can mention "a troubled childhood" but don't go into details. Later, when he asks, add more detail, and slowly work up to the whole truth.
4 - Give him time to digest the information at every step and don't go forward until he is comfortable.
Since I have just met somebody new, it is time to try this out and see if it works (provided I don't jump his bones at the first opportunity!
)
