Yesterday I went to the county admin bldg. to get some legal issues taken care of. As usual I had to visit several offices before finding the right people who could help me. Unfortunately, what is usually a simple thing to do became problematic mainly because of my recent name change. I finally ended up in the right office but by this time I was starting to feel a bit frustrated and tired.
I had to show my legal name change papers to them so I was outed from the beginning but it didn't seem to be a problem and everyone continued to be very friendly. After telling my story once again, the clerk said she had some questions about the process so she asked her supervisor to help me. I explained the situation to her (once again) and she told me that there could be potential problems in transferring the deed into my new name and I should seek a lawyer out to make sure it was done properly. I told her I could not afford a lawyer at this time and I wanted to know if I was in any legal trouble if I just did nothing until I sell the house at a later date. She started telling me some legal stuff and what I needed to do and I was getting confused with all the papers and instructions she was asking me to do.
Then, something very strange, and very new happened. I started to cry.
It wasn't sobbing or anything like that, just a couple of tears is all. I did not do this intentionally and in fact I was shocked that it had happened. Yes I felt frustrated and overwhelmed but the thought of tearing up never entered my mind. I quickly turned away as I was deeply embarrassed by what had just happened. Her face relaxed and she said, here's what you can do. Go across the street to the Title company and tell them what is going on. They may be able to help you or at least get you started on it. She then said, I will look up your deed and give you a copy which could help. Long story short, the lawyer was very personable with lots of smiles and he fixed the problem at no charge.
Before transitioning and HRT, if my wife had told me this had happened to her I would have laughed an would have told her remember this if she ever got stopped by the police for speeding. But now I realize that it just happens. At least I think it just happens. I certainly don't want to make a habit of crying when under stress, especially while in public and this wasn't all that stressful! But it happened so suddenly and without warning I was caught off guard by it. I am strangely confused by it all, but I also have the feeling that I had just discovered a new part of my self.
Dora
