Letter from my last recruit, an 18 year old young lady, in boot camp. This is why I still love the Marine Corps, because of Marines like these.
"SSgt H*****,
Well, I'm putting down my thoughts but tell me later if I'm wrong.
I joined the Marine Corps for many reasons. Many of those reasons being patriotic. One reason though was to be a part of something that had characters as awkward and strong as my own. I thought these characters were made, or at least should be, in boot camp. Being here, now, I realize that you grow up with some character you will have the rest of your life. The Marine Corps doesn't change you, you can only change you. Unlike I thought, there is not many people here that have character. It's just like the real world, only a few. I guess because the Marine Corp (sic) is the Few & Proud. I thought the numbers would be greater. If that makes any since (sic) to you.
The girls that I'm graduating with, you said I would make life long friendships with. Thats not so true. There are some, but most can continue on with there (sic) Civilian Natures without me. They don't understand what it means and I don't know if that kind of can be taught? They can be told how much the Marine Corp is loyal, and even how much respect the name even deserves, and they have been, because our SDI SSgt D****, & our DI's tryed (sic) to instill that in us and tryed to teach us, thats why I don't think it can really be taught. It is more of a feeling,like happiness, we cannot be taught things that make us happy, we just get happy. Just not everyone feels the same way about the Marine Corp.
The girls that Im graduating with are not anything like me. The only thing that we had in common was wanting to be a Marine, and by the end of this some of them won't even want that. I believe my DI's when they tell us 3/4 of us will fail, and 1/2 of us will get pregnant w/in the first year. I believe them because of how these girls act when there not around the DI's, how they act when were given responsibility to do somethings ourselves.
Its kind of sad, perhaps Im wrong for thinking so...bad? I guess what counts is that Im pretty Damn Sure that I have a strong character, & that its going to help me along my path as a Marine, along the path of a woman, also the path of life! I think you would tell me if I was wrong.
Anyways, this letter got really long. I think I started to ramble--just like you do:) lol. Anyway, see you at my graduation! It's coming up soon. The last month should fly by.
K**** aka Recruit M***
PS I really would like an honest response! Hey & write more during this last month. Tell B***** better late than never. "
This is my response:
Hi K****, 10 Nov 2008
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to all of us...
I apologize I slacked a little writing letters, I know how much they mean to someone going through the many challenges away from home that you are experiencing. I promise I'll pick it up this last month, okay?
I got both letters the same day...the first letter, you qual'd on the range and are currently sick. I don't remember boot camp, but I do remember Iraq. It is just this general malaise that no one disease or sickness could describe. We called it, originally, the Kuwait Krud, only because when we went to Iraq later Iraq Krud didn't sound as eloquent. It's just the unfamiliar grouping of a bunch of different people together and the communal sickness that results...you get immune to it eventually.
The second letter doesn't really come as a surprise. You are too much like me. I underwent the same thing, when I realized that what made me tick, and what made most others tick, were entirely different. I joined for very much the same reasons you did...the pride of belonging, the life long brotherhood/sisterhood, the feeling of serving something higher than myself, and doing something important with my life. These things are still valid and the reasons I have stayed in the Marine Corps so long.
There came a day I realized that most people did not feel this way. Whether in the Marine Corps or not. Most people throughout the world have more base motivations for the things they do, ie the need to look out for number one, and while no doubt retaining intangible qualities they place more stock in the tangible. It is kind of like realizing that Santa Claus doesn't exist when you finally understand this. You are right, the Marine Corps will not change them entirely, but it will change them, just as it will change you. But it will not change who you really are, as you said, only you can do that.
I am impressed with you that you are coming to this understanding this early in your career and in your life...that shows that you really do see things for what they are, and while your own selfless world view remains rock-solid, you cannot hold others to the same standard. Example, there is a certain SSgt here who is the epitomy of sellfishness and self-promotion. But he is, afterall, still a Marine just as I am. The other recruiters are a mix of good and bad qualities that make up who they are in uniform and out. They are people. Me, along with my own failings, possess far different feelings than most others...so who did I gravitate towards friendship with? The one other person who shared a lot of my own qualities, which I am sure you know who that is. You might say that you were lucky I was your recruiter, not that other guy:)
I honestly have to say I forgotten that boot camp isn't really where this happens, at least it didn't for me. I barely got to know anyone and things moved by rather quick. The friendships you will have do not really come from boot camp, but in places you will be in the future, possibly school but more likely in the Fleet. In the fleet you will have time to get to know people and have time to build those friendships. No friendship is tested as worthy that adversity AND time have not welded together. You will meet people you can't stand, people you are indifferent to, people you like, and people you love. The people you love are the ones that share these same qualities that you do, or at least in part. Boot camp is not the place to love people. There just isn't the time to.
You also have to remember that boot camp, while a great test, is not the most challenging thing you will do in the Marine Corps, only the first. For three months, you have 40-50 girls from all different walks of life, from cities and towns, Christian and atheist, etc, that are there to form a team. Part of what you feel is understanding the other members of your team who have a completely different way of looking at things...it is, after all, a growing experience.
I'm sure you know the Marine Corps is no bed of roses, and knew that before you joined...this is part of that realization: that the Marine Corps is composed of human beings. Santa Claus, I hate to say it, does not exist.
But don't ever let that stop you from being you, and growing into something even better. You know who you are, and, I think, you realize that you are better than most. Part of that is knowing that you can positively affect others, but you cannot change them until they decide to change...but when and if they do, it will be in no small part for your example of courage, honesty, integrity, strength, and kindness.
How do you know the Marine Corps isn't changing these other girls? It's hard for you to see, and you may never have a proper measuring device to really know. But I betcha it is the case.
The statistics are, for the most part, accurate. A lot of the young ladies you are with will not finish their tour in the Marine Corps. It's just the way it is...they are young like you, and will make mistakes as young people do. The problem with females is nature, and getting pregnant is not something males have to worry about, even if they wanted to use it like some females do. The weeding out process, unfortunately, isn't realistically in boot camp. A secret for you: in recruiting, the big picture is the numbers, as I'm sure you know; it's the same way in boot camp. The DI's have to graduate X number of recruits...the resulting Marines who aren't a benefit to the Marine Corps will shoot themselves in the foot eventually and thus be weeded out. The DI's can't do this, because of the environment (there is little time or opportunity to f*** up) and because they HAVE to. It sucks...out here, if someone is qualified, I have no choice but to sell them on the Marine Corps and try to get them to enlist. It doesn't matter if I think them a dirtbag or not, the Marine Corps decides who is qualified and who is not. I can only do my job. It is the same for DI's.
I guess there is the "ideal" and the "real". You have to find a medium between the two. Just be true to yourself, and don't worry about the others. You may not think you changed them, but you probably already did. Don't forget that. The lessons you, and the Marine Corps, teaches may not be learned; but they still must be taught.
K**** you are an exceptional person in this world. You have not had to opportunity to meet others yet, boot camp has a way of covering the true nature of people...it can be like jail. Don't hold others to your own standard, because that may be too high for some or most. Part of being a true Lady or Gentleman is holding yourself to your own exacting standards, but excepting others as they are; and maybe trying to change them by your own example.
So God Bless you K****, I'm unsure how to really answer this. I suppose it's just something you have to learn, by trial and error, as you move through the Marine Corps and in life. But don't ever let it make you jaded, but a goal to obtain. Semper Fidelis, and I mean that.
SSgt H*****
