What to tell the HR department and when

[paulault55]

my therapist at my last session last week wanted me to look into contacting my HR department. I am in the computer industry and out EEO does not include gender identity however all the other computer companies i researched on the HRC that my company deals with do have gender identity in their EEO's and we usually follow their lead. I sent an e-mail to my HR department asking what our policy was and said it was for a friend, well she called me when i was out and wants to do this over the phone tomorrow, i don't want to lie to her by saying i was asking for a friend, she probably has an idea i'm asking for myself and when i do tell them my intentions down the road it will look bad. I'm leaning toward being honest with her, any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

[sneakersjay]

I poked around the coming out section here on Susan's and around the net and put together a printed package for my employer, such as a general overview of transsexualism, what transition entails, and what I would expect by coming out (pronouns, etc; bathrooms aren't an issue at my work), plus a personal letter - basically the same letter I wrote my family but took out the more personal parts and specifics about hormones and surgery -- figured work didn't need that much detail, LOL.

And I gave them a time frame.  The manager I gave the packet to was supportive, so that helped, and I told her that physical changes were already starting and I wanted to come out as they were going to be much more obvious in the coming months.

Jay

[paulault55]

Thanks for the reply Sneakersjay, i was just testing the waters so to speak with them to see what their stance is, i'm not coming out to them yet but later this year. I have a unique situation i work from home and have very little contact with management or customers, last time i saw my manager was in 2002 he is in Phoenix and one customer in 2007.

[sneakersjay]

I also have an online job and I just emailed my intentions to the HR contact.  She then took care of the legal stuff with payroll, and told me it was up to me if I told my coworkers.  Non-issue.

Jay

[Janet_Girl]

I did the same as Jay, but I work in retail.  I passed the package onto my store manager, who pass it on to HR.  I gave it to them about a month before my male self went on vacation, permently.  I wonder if they had gotten it, so I called my HR and she said that it was fine with the company. 

The funny thing is that she told me, that when I came out at work, I was required to use the women restroom.  We had not even discussed the issue, this was what my company required.

Janet

[paulault55]

Thanks for the replies, my HR contact has not called me back yet, but i had my therapy session today and told him i was just going to tell her the information is for me, being up front now will cause fewer questions later and he agreed. I'll update this after i talk to them.

Paula.

[paulault55]

I just wanted to update anybody following this post, finally got ahold of the HR person, i probably freaked her out cause she had been on the job only 6 weeks, anyway when she started asking about my friend i came out and told her the information was for me and that i wondered what our companies policy was on gender idenitity and told her in the future i would be transitioning, i could tell she was unfamilar with what i was saying but she thought our company would be ok with it but would check with her boss. She called back an hour later and said her boss said it was ok if i transitioned and if there was anything they could do to help. I can't believe i outed myself after all i was only looking for some information but everything turned out ok. 

[Janet_Girl]

Full time here you come, Paula. 

Janet

[Steph]

Check out this article in our Wiki Paula:

https://www.susans.org/wiki/The_Closet

It's a fairly comprehensive topic with many links.  Good reading.

Steph

[paulault55]

Janet ft is in my future after i get more laser treatments, get my feminine voice down and lose some weight and of course come out to family and friends.

Steph, i looked at the wiki you linked to a few weeks ago  and have already written the coming out letter to my co-workers using ideas from one of the letters i liked, my therapist read it and liked it so much he asked to keep it. Now if i can get past this mental block of how to tell my stepfather my therapist feels everyone else will be lots easier.


Paula.