Steph,
It saddens me a little to read your post. It sounds like the two of you are contemplating a parting over a desire for physical intamacy that your wife cannot extend to another woman.
This is understandable, but I must ask, is it really all that important?
I ask because, my wife and I are very close, more so in an emotional rather than a physical sense. Our relationship transcended the physical long before I ever came out to her, so this is not merely a recent development brought on by HRT or any other aspect of my transition.
We are closer today than we were yesterday and we will be closer tommorow than we are today. We made a committement to each other long ago, and swore we would never part, and so we have not. Neither of us would trade a single day for what might have been nor what might otherwise be for we cannot imagine life without each other.
We have a tradition of always kissing each other before parting company to run errands take trips in which one of us cannot go, etc. The other day an occassion arose in which kissing each other good bye meant doing so in front of somebody else which was not unusual in and of itself but was the first time the occasion arose since I started living full time.
It did make my wife feel a little awkward and I could tell by the nature of the kiss. I discussed it with her on my return, and she addmited that she was not entirely enamered with the idea of being a lesbian just yet. I told her I understood and suggested we do the double cheek air kiss. That's the left to right cheek - kiss the air than the same right to left.
She now delights in this and laughs everytime we do it. At home we kiss as we always have and it is no longer an issue. As each new thing arises we talk it out and determine a course of action that will make us both feel comfortable.
I hope the two of you might take something from this and use it to smooth this rough spot, rather than let a desire for physical intimacy allow an element into your lifes that might end your lifes together prematurely.
I'm not sure if this will make sense to you or if maybe I'm just reading too much into your post. I just hate to see two people grow apart over what we consider a trivial aspect of a relationship. Especially two people who have been together as long as the two of you have.
I know others don't see it that way, and we may be rather special in that aspect. I don't know. Maybe this will be useful to you. I hope so. I wish you and your spouse all the best.
Cassie
