first bra

[aisha]

So.. after much waiting for something to happen, and trying things and having wierd things happen, I finally realized since I'm probably not going to end up getting through therapy because dealing with people's questions and being forced to act like something I'm not just in order to express myself in the way that shouldn't have been a problem in the first place.. is just not me, and is not what I'm trying to do, not to mention hasn't been much help in itself, and i can't really afford it.. I realized! if I just get a bra, and boobs, and wear my hair up most of the time, then that will just be that for the most part, I'll be able to wear whatever clothes without issue mostly in the outside world, and itll be apparent that I'm a girl from the start, and not something I have to explain all the time. I was looking in the mirror with boobs and it suprised me how much I actually pass, finally. I don't know I've seen it before, but I guess its that coupled with my new willingness to go out dressed how I really want to be. So thats what I'm gonna do, and I'm definitely excited about it, but I was wondering, since I don't know the first thing about bras if you guys could help me out? I just want something normal, and kind of cheap, that is comfortable and probably white. Thanks all! peace..

[tekla]

Go to like a VS store, or Macy's lingerie department and ask to be fitted.

And yeah, shave, nothing will stop passing (or for an FtM, aid passing) like facial hair.

[NicholeW.]

I agree with tekla, altho you might also want to find out if there's a free or mostly free clinic in your area that you can afford.

Breasts are certainly the most used and distinctive gender markers. Just growing a set may help more than you think, Aisha.

It's not unheard of for male-ided folks to use hrt or bas to add boobs to their bodies either. Although I personally couldn't see it, ever. But cost and access can make tremendous differences in pace and ability to transition. Honestly speaking, although likely to step on more than one set of toes here, transitioning is often an upper middle-class phenomenon.

There are more transsexuals than ever begin to appear around the internet and a lot that cannot afford even the basics of transition, especially when you look at things from a world-perspective. Even most "poor" folks in USA tend to still fall into the upper 20% of the world's wealthy.

N~

[barbie]

Usually I do not wear bra at my workplace. Everybody knows that I am a dad, and wearing it can make people embarassed.

However, I hope that my image can be changed to a queer, but closer to a female one. Some people at my workplace sometimes comment that my chest is unexpectedly flat and not harmonious with my body shape.

It is tricky how I can slowly change my image of flat chest into an androgynous person with slight boobs. HRT probably can give me 1 or 2-inch thick breasts together with more feminine face, but I do not like any kind of medicine. I love my natural body, and even just dump away antibiotics some doctors prescribe for me. And, more important is the fact that I am a dad of 3 kids.

For example, yesterday night, I combed my hair after taking shower. I sat with my legs crossed in front of the dressing table. My 5-year daughter behind me said like "Dad looks like a young lady. Do not sit that way. I do not like it."

Occasional wearing bra is fine, but permanent change is not desirable in my case. It is always tricky and even thrilling to determine how much further I am allowed to proceed to feminine looking by my family, relatives and colleagues at my workplace. However, I do wear miniskirt with my old friends.

Barbie~~

[Lyric]

As someone with, no doubt, a few more years than you, Aisha, I say stop worrying and enjoy being yourself. Life is too short to spend all your time worrying about what other people might be thinking. We live in a society that tends to try and obscure diversity, yet it's the diverse that make all the important changes and-- I think-- have the most fun.

Breasts & bras are often the last visual signal defining femininity. I was at a public gathering recently and there was a person across the room from me whose gender I could not get a fix on: very tall, large build, not-to-long hair, no makeup and wearing some sort of sexless uniform. Then I noticed the person had boobs. Gender made.

That said, I was browsing through some fashion mags once and was struck by in how many very feminine/high-fashion photos you could not make out any indication of breasts on the models. In fact, I wrote a little blog entry on it:
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-06V_c4Q9YrRaJN3oQXVCRA--?cq=1
Layers and jewelry are always in fashion.

Personally, though, I do love buying and wearing bras. For good deals, you can go to websites like One Hanes Place or Newport News and check the clearance section for super buys. Sizing is tricky, which is why the best way to avoid buying the wrong size is to go for a fitting. I've never done it, but several Susan's people have said it's no sweat to get a fitting in a store. These days, nobody can afford to turn away business. I originally thought I was a 34, but a 36 usually fits me best. I buy AA size bralets if I don't want to wear padding or A-B cups if I decide to wear my "cutlets" (inexpensive silicon pads-- got mine on eBay for $20).

--Lyric

[Cyndigurl45]

I remember my first bra, OMG was it ever nerv racking but now I don't think I could leave the house without one, BTW I have a drawer full LOL I did and still on occasion get a few stares but I shrug them off and go about my business without issue