Implementing new names and pronouns

[nonie]

Eh, kind of a boring post, but the boards have been slow...  So I am posting about my name.  I think I have sort of settled on William Matthias Nelson.  I didn't like William before cuz I didn't want to be called Willie Nelson, but I get enough crap with Winona that I guess I'm already kind of used to it anyway.  He seems like a pretty decent guy too, from what I've read   I wanted something normal and masculine and William is a good strong W name.  And Matthias is just a name I always liked and isn't too weird to be a middle name.

Other things I had considered were Wesley, Westin, Willem, and Wayland.  And Morris, Marius, and Mikko for the middle name.  I think William goes better with Nelson than any of the other things.  And Will sounds hot

So...  I know other name threads have been posted before but I was wondering more about how others have gone about implementing their new name...  What do you say when you ask people to start using it, how long was it before you legally changed it too, all that stuff.  And how do you get around having some random acquaintance with that name and not wanting to appear like you named yourself after them?  I guess it's a really common name so it shouldn't be that big a deal, but still.  The one Will I know *will* think it's hilarious to accuse me of stealing his name.  Maybe I'll just punch him.  Violence solves everything in the guy world, right? 

Also, I dunno if it's too soon to ask my friends and family to use it and change pronouns...  They mostly all found out pretty recently.  When did you change pronouns and how did you that go?

[Melissa]

Usually when I told people about me being TS, they would ask me what my female name was and I would say Melissa.  Since you've already told people, just mention it when talking with them.

Melissa

[LynnER]

So far as changeing the pronouns..... I really dont know,  My family and friends still have a hard time with that one... And getting them to call me by my chosen name rather than my birth name *sighs* virtualy impoossable..... 
I present as female most of the time when not at work and it really gets on my nerves but hey.... what can you really do?

[Kismet]

Personally, I like Willem and Wayland. I've met far too many Williams who were complete and utter dicks. 'Scuse the pun, but they were real jerks. I've just come to associate the name William with jerk-off jockdom.

Willem or Wayland is nice. Wayland is especially pleasant, and I've never heard it before. It's not 'weird' yet it's not common, either. Willem is equally so.

It's your name and of course ultimately your choice, I just don't like the name William.

As for the pronouns, most of my friends and those whom I'm associated with call me by the 'he' and 'him' business, but not all, and I still haven't breached it with my family yet.

[Dennis]

I like it. One of my best friends is a Will.

Name-wise, people who are supportive are usually pretty eager to use your new name and get used to it. Pronouns take longer. I just quietly correct when they're wrong. I find women worse with pronouns than men, but I've heard MtF's say that they find men worse.

Dennis

[nonie]

I like it. One of my best friends is a Will.

Name-wise, people who are supportive are usually pretty eager to use your new name and get used to it. Pronouns take longer. I just quietly correct when they're wrong. I find women worse with pronouns than men, but I've heard MtF's say that they find men worse.

Dennis

Easier to add one to your side then let one go, I suppose.

William is the only W name that doesn't have sibilance or assonance with my last name so I think it sounds the best cuz it's entirely different sounding...  Wayland's the second best in that sense, but it's hard to go from the ND at the end to another N.  I'll try hard not to be a jerk-off jock though, I promise

[Dennis]

My friend Will is a film buff and all around great guy - not jock-ish in the least. People in law school all thought he was gay. So there are some non-jock Wills out there.

Dennis

[Buffy]

Nice Name....

William Mathias Nelson has a ring to it.... Good job you dont have a surname beginning with D, otherwise initials wll have been WMD, weapons of mass destruction.

I had a friend, whose intitials where PVC.

Pronouns.... at work I wrote a personal e-mail to everyone, telling them my new name andrequesting the use of She, Her etc. It went quite well and not many people made mistakes. When they did I politely corrected them and the where kinda embaressed.

My Father (who is 79) still calls me by my Male name at times and uses Male pronouns when talking about me to his friends. This is my Son, Rebecca is a common mistake or Michael doesnt live here, she lives abroad is another. I don't let this bother me anymore and always correct him.... bless him

Buffy

[Nero]

Hello Mikko,
I think William is one of those classic names that is pretty much free from stereotypes.
A William could be a jock or a nerd, big or small, ugly or handsome, etc.

Willem and Wayland are nice and unique names, however, the trouble with names like these that the majority of the population have never heard of, is that you will introduce yourself...
and then you will have to introduce yourself again and again to the same person.
It'll go something like this -

"Hi, I'm Willem."  <shakes hand>
"Pleased to meet you, William. I'm Peter."
"No, not William, Willem."
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"Willem."
"How do you say that?"
(Peter trips over his tongue several times in his attempt to pronounce the name, finally gets it on the 5th try.)
"Oh, Willem. How do you spell that?"
"W-I-L-L-E-M."
"Oh, heh, heh, just like it sounds."
(Through gritted teeth) "Yes."
"So what is that? Is it French?"

My surname is extremely rare. I've had this exact conversation (names changed), in that exact order, everyday, multiple times a day, my entire life.
It gets very tiresome.

It's going to be difficult enough implementing (to use your word ) your new name, try to make it a recognizable name that people at least know how to pronounce.
Unless of course, you love the name enough to go through that everyday.

By the way, I really like William, and Will does sound sexy.

[nonie]

Hello Mikko,
I think William is one of those classic names that is pretty much free from stereotypes.
A William could be a jock or a nerd, big or small, ugly or handsome, etc.

Willem and Wayland are nice and unique names, however, the trouble with names like these that the majority of the population have never heard of, is that you will introduce yourself...
and then you will have to introduce yourself again and again to the same person.
It'll go something like this -

"Hi, I'm Willem."  <shakes hand>
"Pleased to meet you, William. I'm Peter."
"No, not William, Willem."
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"Willem."
"How do you say that?"
(Peter trips over his tongue several times in his attempt to pronounce the name, finally gets it on the 5th try.)
"Oh, Willem. How do you spell that?"
"W-I-L-L-E-M."
"Oh, heh, heh, just like it sounds."
(Through gritted teeth) "Yes."
"So what is that? Is it French?"

My surname is extremely rare. I've had this exact conversation (names changed), in that exact order, everyday, multiple times a day, my entire life.
It gets very tiresome.

It's going to be difficult enough implementing (to use your word ) your new name, try to make it a recognizable name that people at least know how to pronounce.
Unless of course, you love the name enough to go through that everyday.

By the way, I really like William, and Will does sound sexy.

Thanks

With a name like Winona I got a lot of name confusion too.  I had a couple friends who would correct people's pronunciation, but I let people call me Wynona or Weeona or Wanino or Ramona or Juana or whatever cuz I was tired of correcting people.  A common name will be a little easier to live with, methinks

[LostInTime]

I like the name. 

As for when, just tell your close friends and let it go from there.  Do not be afraid to correct the pronouns and names, at first they may slip and not even realise it.

For the rest, I used a coming out letter at work and with the neighbors I actually cared about.  Detailed what name I was going to go by and all that.

[nonie]

I had a friend who saw a livejournal post about my new name email me to ask if she could start using it and male pronouns in reference to me before I ven asked...  I'm still waffling about how to ask who and when.  But I have a few people calling me just W for now