Jesus Is Watching You
A robber breaks into a home and hears a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Startled, he asks, "Who said that?"
Again, the voice says, "Jesus is watching you."
The robber turns around to see a parrot. He asks the parrot what his name is. The parrot replies, "Cornelius."
The robber asks, "Who names a parrot 'Cornelius'?"
The parrot replies, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus."
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Two little mischievous boys
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They
were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see
them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the
older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What
happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"
