"are you a boy or a girl?"

[Jayr]

-

[Calistine]

I am a counselor for the after school program at an elementary school and even though the kids refer to me as a guy a few of them asked me if I was a girl. One kid asked me like 5 times and I started to get really annoyed. Theyve decided Im a boy though because only boys have facial hair heheh.
People only care because society pressures them to care. It sucks but thats the way it is. It gets better when you pass better though of course.

[Nikolai_S]

I've had that happen to me before... it's kind of awkward at first, but then I'm just glad they asked. I just say "I'm a guy" and stick to it no matter what. One day I had on eyeliner and wasn't binding, and I still stuck by it. I explained moobs by being embarrassed about a genetic issue I had, and then just let them think I was a really feminine guy. I think they thought I was mtf by the end of it, actually. Otherwise I haven't had anyone question my response, they're mostly just curious and confused about it.

So you can either say "I'm a guy" or shrug and say "what does it matter?" After the answer they'll just get bored and go away. If they find out you're biologically female, you can say something about wanting to mess with their heads. Same thing if another person asks about it.

[Nygeel]

I've had people ask "are you a boy or a girl?" Typically young kids that are like...5. I tend to simply answer with "yes" and carry on. It confuses them where they can't really think of anything else to say. Never had a problem.

[jacob.ayden.averi]

I say I'm a boy. And if they press it, I say I haven't gone through puberty and to stfu. ^.^

[Crimbuki]

"don't worry about that.''  Argh lame I know!

Are you kidding? That's one of my favorite retorts. 

That and "I'm whatever you want me to be.  "

I had a small kid ask me this once, but I didn't have time to think up a creative answer as the boy's mom interjected and ushered him away.

With kids I think I might want to sow the seeds of tolerance, explain that I'm "both" or "something in between".

[Riley]

I laugh loudly in response to that question, which has a rather belittling effect on the person who asked. 

[LordKAT]

I guess I liked turning the question back on them as it often leads to a happy face if very young and a conversation if they are a bit older. I ask what they would like me to be or what do they think I am. Then say they are right no matter what they say. If they come up and say that one thinks girl and the other guy, just tell them they are both right.  It may be weird but it does get them to back off and/or as questions in a tolerant way.

[JohnR]

Jayr, it was a damn cool answer to give.

[xAndrewx]

Dude that ain't lame you were right, they shouldn't worry about that because it wasn't their business. Sounds like you handled it well.

[matt]

I've had that happen to me once on a train. Two adult guys came up to me on the platform after we left the train, and asked me "are you a girl or a boy?", I just said, "Yes." and walked off. I think they were a bit confused and looked a bit stupid but I was in a hurry so I just left them there frozen on the spot  . Anyway, I felt good about it coz I wasn't lying and that made me feel more confident about my answer, I am definitely a boy or a girl. 

[Wolf]

I get this all the time in school. I'm 'out' there, and the people who ask are usually two years below, because the older ones have already had their 'question time' with me and are a bit more informed ... .. so i hear 'are you a boy or a girl' at least once a day. Usually i say 'boy', or 'yes' or whatever comes out my mouth first. If i'm not in a hurry and in a good mood and they're old enough i try to explain and answer questions. it's great when you can get someone to understand and they stop being deuches about it and start being a bit more respectful.

It's true. It's nobodies buisness except your own, but in my experience when it's avoided people start rumours and that can end up being more harmful than being up front and honest; then again my school is very open minded and accepting.

[insideontheoutside]

This happened to me once (well, it's happened more than once but I'm just going to relate this one story!) ... I think I was about 15 in high school. There was a group of "popular" kids who apparently had decided they wanted to embarrass me during the lunch break. So 2 girls and a guy come up to where I was sitting along this brick wall outside and they're laughing and the one girl (imagine a total "valley girl" accent) says, "So like, are you like, a girl or a boy?" (more laughing). So I respond, "Why are you asking? Do you wanna f__k me?"

That pretty much shut them up because they definitely weren't expecting that - then while they were still trying to formulate what I said I added, "Because you know, I can't really figure out another reason why someone would want to know what's in my pants." The lead bimbo huffed and then turned and the other two followed.

They tried messing with me a couple other times after that and I just shut them down every time. I think they got bored after that LOL

[Tad]

I never bothered answering.. and would leave people to argue back in school time. Typically people would assume I'm a guy.. until someone who knew that I wasn't told them.. the new person wouldn't beleive them and they'd be having this huge converation right around me. Eventually the new person would think to ask.. and I just wouldn't reply.. lolz.

[Crimbuki]

... so for the next twenty minutes of class there were all these homophobic terms coming from this one boy. The teacher just urged everyone to be quiet. That dick of a kid shouted back to the teacher "Well they shouldn't be allowed in society." Which got a surprisingly got a >-bleeped-<-ton of "Ooohs" of disbelieve.

Wow! I would have flipped my lid right then and there!  I would totally fight that dude.

[annette]

Hi yair

You are supprised and hurt by the question because I think, you are in a vulnerable position about your gender at this moment.
Things will get better in time because the T will do his work.
In the mean time you can say, well i'm a boy and what are you?
So he can think about his own gender and answer your question.

hug annette

[justmeinoz]

Good off the cuff answer actually, leaves them with nowhere to go.   Other than something along the lines of," as I don't intend to have sex with you, who cares," will leave an opening for an answer.

[Al James]

As i  normally have to put up with this question from drunken idiots when i'm working the answer ive always wanted to try is ' well if you can't tell bet you don't have much luck in the bedroom'. Never dared used it yet, usually end up muttering ' whats it got to do with you?'

[marissak]

I was taken off guard so the only thing that came out of my mouth was "don't worry about that.''  Argh lame I know!
...

I'm scared if I say I'm a boy I'll get bullied or something, than again I think its about time I come out to everyone. I don't know??
...
I hate that kind of attention, why does my gender concern people so much? Geez just leave me alone!

I think your response was the right one given the circumstances you have described.

Your fear is also justified. If you say you are a boy, boys do have the tendency of teasing and bullying the more feminine boys (I do not mean this in an insulting way ... I was a slightly feminine boy growing up and I avoided all trouble by being reserved and minding my own business).

Ignore these people who are so bothered about your gender. You have decades more to live and these people do not matter in the big scheme of things. Stay with your friends and ignore the rest. There is a lot more to life than these people.

[Dominick_81]

That happened to me before. But at the time I was in denial. This girl just asked me if I was a boy or girl and I said girl, and then she asked me if i was sure. 

Now that I'm out of the denial stage, I'm not sure what I would say if someone asked me that question today.