Newbie

[Andre]

Hey people!I was wondering if u members with experience could suggest me some good introductory sites.I read some FTM diaries but need more. Here support group doesn't exist and would like to know what I should  ???expect.I'm 18 and FTM. My mom knows it I told her 2 weeks ago, and she said that she will support me if that's what I want. But I had to promise her to have one child before transition.Hard to hold on...really, but would like to pass my genes cause don't want to be a slave of a woman later. Can transition be succesful after pregnancy?At the moment I hardly have breasts,and have naturally hairs on body and chin.
Regards!
buddy Andre.

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Andre,

Welcome to Susan's.  This is a wonderful site with lots of information for you to browse though.  Check out the Wiki, and the Library as there is lots to look at there.  Be sure to read the Rules, and feel free to take part, ask questions and give your points of view.  Relax you are among friends.

As to your question

Can transition be successful after pregnancy?

I'm afraid that I'm not qualified to advise you on that, but my own feeling is that you probably can.  The best thing to do would be to talk to your mother and see your family doctor and see what his feelings are.  Then if he didn't know then may be he could steer you towards someone who did.

We have several FtM here at Susan's hopefully they will see this post and be able to give you a better insight to this.  One member who comes to mind is Dennis.  He is FtM and in transition himself and just had top surgery.  I'll give him a nudge for you.

Again enjoy your stay.

Chat later

Steph

[Andre]

Thanks Stephanie! I checked Wiki and it helped me about lot of terms(no more Google for me:)). Library is also good.
Nice to find support here. I changed school 3 times cause others were teasing me:(.But I said to myself, Andre take it like a man. Life is short to waste energy on "limited" people. THOSE are really limited people
I read some post of Dennis and wow really admire him. O well hope to fully confirm my identity once. Now let's start from "simple" things-going to buy male underwear today.
Thanx people!
Andre

[beth]

hello Andre,

              i'm so sorry to hear you have had to change schools. kids are very cruel sometimes and you are so right about that limiting them. Dennis is a great guy. sometimes some of us girls get a little carried away and do a little "man" bashing even tho we should never group all men together. there are many very good men and Dennis is certainly one of the best. Good luck with your shopping Andre.

beth

[stephanie_craxford]

Hi Andre

Boxers or briefs 

You will find men's cloths is generally a lot cheaper than women's clothing   Have fun shopping.

Chat later,

Steph

[Dennis]

OK, I'm back in town. Thanks for the compliments guys and girls

There is no reason that you can't transition after having a child. There is a documentary about FtM parents that has just come out called Transparent. This is a link to a review of it: http://www.newfest.org/cgi-bin/iowa/films.html?film=875

Some cautionary notes, however, are, that you shouldn't start testosterone if you're thinking of becoming pregnant, or if you have started, you should stop at least 6 months before becoming pregnant. It can cause birth defects otherwise.

Also, you need to be sure of your legal situation. If you transition and the father of the child is still in the child's life, he could go for custody of the child. Depending on where you live, being trans could be counted against you. Also, parents have been known to seek custody of their grandchild against their child.

Transition can be a fairly self absorbed time, so don't have a child unless you are prepared to commit the emotional resources to raising the child.

Dennis

[Terri-Gene]

Hey Dennis, Good Morning!.  I would almost bet money that you knew what you were looking for when you went shopping, but did you find what you were looking for?  and did you find anything you werent looking for that you simply could not resist?  And what kind of colors did you go with?

And I assume you are all out of the binders and bandages by now, everything come out looking natural?  Betcha can't wait to sprout hair on that new chest, just so you can run around in nothing but a pair of jogging trunks to show it off.

And Andre, wish you all the luck in the world and the FtMs here, especially Dennis, will give you all the first hand advice you care to hear I imagine.  Haven't got any for you myself as I'm not exactly coming from the same direction and definately don't have the same goals, and I've never been comfortable with men outside of a professional atmosphere, till I met Dennis that is .... a different kind of man, more like what a man should be ..... He's just sort of ... confident, relaxed and comfortable with himself and others.

Terri

[Dennis]

It was a great experience. I'll post all about it in the FtM forum as soon as I catch up with unread topics.

Dennis

[Andre]

hey!Wow thanks for replies. And advices.Yeah shopping was great!I bought jacket, jeans and boxers.Salesman was so confused when I bought man's model of jeans. And for boxers my mom was of great help to me. She told that she was buying it for my brother...
Now I'm ready for new school!Thanx for support.And Dennis about that family planning yeah I'll wait with therapy only cause of that, and I'll try to speed up later so the father don't have to know.So much time till that....now must focus on school and preparing for future job that must be good if I want to raise child on my own and be independent.

Andre'87.

[Terri-Gene]

Yes Andre raising children is quite a challenge.  I have 4 daughters and a son, with the yougest, one of the daughters, being 22 now.  They can be a pleasure and a pain and it seems the feelings of responsibility toward them never ends, no matter how well they fly on thier own.

A good job is manditory though, kids cost a lot of money.  I worked two and even three jobs daily for many years when the older ones were in their teens and the youngest just beginning her adventures.  It left little or no time for myself, but the time I could spend with the kids made up for all of it.

No one can really tell you how to raise a child, as a lot of that depends on the child and your relationship with it, but it is a wonderful thing to watch a person grow and learn from a complete helpless infant to a confident secure adult and share in all the steps and realizations along the way.  I hope you realise all your dreams.

Terri

[Andre]

Thanks Terri! I'm aware of that. The first day at school(today) went by ok,great majority thought I'm a boy.Now I'm at break and this evening I'll try to bind my chest for the first time. It is so hot here and I have to wear few shirts to hide my chest. I bought bandages so wish me luck with binding!
Buddy Andre

[Dennis]

Good luck Andre. When you get the bucks together, underworks (www.underworks.com) has a bunch of binders. Ace bandages over the long term can be uncomfortable and possibly damaging.

Dennis

[Terri-Gene]

Thank you for the reply Andre, and luck is all I can wish you on the subject of binding, as I don't personally relate to that as it is an FtM issue not exactly applicable to an MtF.

Sounds like School is going to work out well for you, Just remember that which ever way you are going as a TS, it's more then 90% attitude and the appearances are just frosting on the cake.

Terri

[Andre]

Hey people thanks for replies! Yeah Dennis bandages are extremely uncomfortable(damn nipples) well I guess I'll be back to shirts.Terri agree with u, but I have no (social)experience as FTM.I'm not yet that strong(emotional) and can't tell to strangers in school.... I'll let them figure out that ...(signed in notebooks as Andre).
I guess at this moment appearance is the only way to confirm identity:((
But in the future;)