Hi everyone!

[(miss)understood]

Greetings!

I've been a lurker for a while, and finally had the "courage" to sign up...I'm not that good at writing introductions and there are some things that I don't feel comfortable sharing publicly (at least yet), but I'll try to write something.

I'm an adult, but I do beg to disagree about being a "guy"; I guess I've always been a bit more girlish than boyish, but it really hit me when puberty started...I honestly don't know what I was expecting, but I do know that I don't want to be "one of the guys". It's like living in another country without speaking or understanding the local language at all. It feels just so weird when people expect me to be able to fix cars or lift heavy things or something like that. I have a driver's license and I can drive a car, but I don't know how to fix a broken one -- that's why there are professionals! Or "you can't like X because you're a guy"...stereotypes like that are just stupid and harmful in my opinion. (Why yes, Sex and the City happens to be my favorite TV show!  )

Some years ago I stumbled upon BBC's brain sex ID test and the result was hardly surprising, it just confirmed what I already knew: I'm more female than male, at least when it comes to brains. Last year I did it again and surprise, got the same results. Still, it's been very hard to accept that I'm not "normal". Maybe it's related to the way the general public feels about trans people; the people in this country (an European country) are becoming more and more accepting towards gays and lesbians, but transsexuals are seen as something weird and scary.

As for my physical appearance, I'm not that tall (around 5 ft 6 in), although I've grown a bit lately (eep!). I've always been a bit overweight and I like to think that I have a pretty face, although it's rather hard to notice, thanks to that annoying facial hair.  I consider my brown eyes as my best feature and they've been often complimented by people, strangers and friends and family alike.

I'm a huge fan of Ayumi Hamasaki! That's where my username comes from, since (miss)understood is the name of one of her albums and there's also a song with the same name on the album.

(This turned out to be quite a messy post, apologies for that...my thoughts are quite messed up, too, so I guess that explains this a bit.)

~Olivia~

[Padma]

We're all a mess in progress - pleased to meet you.

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Miss Understood,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Hugs and Love,
Janet

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Miss Understood,
It is good to meet you.

Still, it's been very hard to accept that I'm not "normal".

None of us are normal and I don't mean just us people at Susan's.
As a comedian once said the only thing that is normal is a setting on a dryer.

Oh hon keep post even if it looks messy.
First off it is good to get it out; it therapeutical.
And second we loved to help each other and we need to now where you are coming from to help.
So "Messy" posting are good for you.
Welcome to Susan's
Jillieann

[annette]

Hello Miss Understood.

Welcome to the forum.
So, you are living in an European country, well that makes us neighbors.
What about not being normal....in my country they say: ever met someone who is normal, and did you like it?
In other words, it's hard to find somebody who is normal. maybe impossible.
Anyway, you look quite normal to me but I understand you're in confusing times right now.
I hope we can contribute any support for you to makes things clear.
In the mean time you can write, ask, chat anything you want to, clear up your heart.

And Jillieann, my dryer lives his own life, no matter what the setting is (lol)
So even that is not normal but is depending of the dryer's mood of the day.

hugs
annette

[Ruby]

Welcome Olivia,

I look forward to more of your posts. This is a good place.

Cheers! 

Ruby

[Jillieann Rose]

Your so right Annette.
Anyway I think normal is boring.
Different (not normal) is so much better but not alway comfortable.

[Jillieann Rose]

And I know because I;m just a crazy old lady.

[annette]

I agree with Jillieann :Different people just give more color to the world.

So that makes us two crazy old ladies.

But back to miss Understood, accepting by other people is in my opinion all about the way you are presenting yourself.
When you look, talk and behave yourself like a woman there isn't anybody who can do anything else than see you as a woman.

The way public thinks about transgenders is also given by tv programs, when they follow someone on their way to transition but, these people weren't the best representers of a tgirl, not in a phisical way but also not in a behavirour way.
It looked to me that they find someone who was dying to get on television for an hour of fame.

In my little country there are more than 500 tg's according to a study of the medical center, I don't know them, they are living their lives in the way of their gender so, nobody will notice them and they don't need an hour of fame.
Just a life with friends and family, work, hobbies,relations, to say it short...a normal life.
So for you who is a bit ashame to be not normal.....it's possible to get a normal life.

I hope you will find inner peace with yourself,  here on this place you are accepted and we know what you are dealing with.

hugs
annette

[(miss)understood]

Thanks for the replies, everyone!

@yoxi: You're absolutely right on that. Then again, are we ever complete? (OK, that's starting to be a bit too philosophical...)

@Janet Lynn: Thanks for the useful links, I've read them now.

@Jillieann: Yep, that's what my mom always says, too! Still, many times I've just wanted to do the stuff genetic girls do, without getting any odd stares or such. I'm sure you know what I mean.

@annette: Thanks for the welcome, I'm glad to be here! What you said about people who just want their hour of fame, it's true. There are plenty of genetic girls and boys who are willing to do just about anything to become famous (for a while) and I just don't understand them. Why would someone do something physically dangerous (for example) in exchange for an hour in TV? Many of the things people do in TV reality shows like Fear Factor are just way beyond my understanding, such as eating bugs and other living animals -- eek!

@Ruby: Yep, Susan's seems like a place where people really care about each other, and that's really great.

~Olivia~

[Padma]

Some people think we're working with a blueprint for the perfect us, but to me that's like being a half-finished office building - feh, no thanks. I'd rather see us as constantly evolving, like a forest. Or is that too philosopical too?