not sure if i posted this in right place.

[tammygirl2]

I'm sorry if i posted this in the wrong section/forum.

Iv been thinking long and hard about coming out to my dad telling him how i feel.
Iv already told my mum she just said it would be ashame if i was to be a woman but she didn't over react.

My dad knows theres something going on with me but he thinks i gay so he said to me one nights at dinner that he knows somethings going on then he said no matter what it is he wont be shocked and get upset etc. He also said something about controlling sexual urges which leads me to think that he thinks that im gay.

if thats what he thinks then its the total oposite.
I do think he will be saddened if i told his that i want to be a woman but maybe if i did and got it out in the open he could give me his views and we could talk about it. my dad is quite a down to earth person so you never know.

I just don't think we should keep pussyfooting around my issue. My dad has seen my womans/fem clothes and he knows that he and my mum didn't buy them for me and he knows they are not my mums. When he saw them he just stared at them while he said what he came in my room to say (dinners ready).

He couldn't take his eyes off of them but yet he didn't say a word about them.

Its not that i left them out for him too see i just didn't know he was going to come in to my bedroom.

but i dunno. any thoughts guys?

[Steph]

I can't recall if you mentioned if you are in therapy or not, but by the way that you a speaking I don't think that you are.  Coming out to your mom and dad is going to be hard as it's difficult to gauge what is worst for them, having a son who is gay or a son who is TS.  The other point is that you can't be telling them that you "want to be a woman", as their answer could simply be "well you can't".  Remember that simply wanting to be a woman doesn't make you one.  You are either a woman or you are not.

As your dad already suspects that there is something wrong and that you are possibly gay, the best way to approach this is simply tell them that you know there is something different about you and that it feels as though you were born into the wrong body, that the way that you feel is not right, not the way a boy should feel,  or words along those lines.  You also need to tell them that you need to go into therapy to help sort these issues out.  Now you may be gay and that is a different kettle of fish, and has nothing to do with being TS.

Although you said otherwise I'm pretty sure that you did leave out your female cloths, and that subconsciously you probably wanted your dad to find them.  I believe that it's something that we have all done in the past as away of giving the world a peak at the real us.

It seems that your mom is sorta OK but she could probably side with you dad if push come to shove.  Just be careful and when you come out, come out to them both at the same time.  Be prepared for some ridicule, some denial, but be sure that you are prepared with the right answers, don't be wishy washy about yourself.  Be positive and upfront as they are probably going to want to know what this all means and where you are going to go with this.

Just some thoughts to wrestle with.

Steph

[Brittany]

I can't recall if you mentioned if you are in therapy or not, but by the way that you a speaking I don't think that you are.  Coming out to your mom and dad is going to be hard as it's difficult to gauge what is worst for them, having a son who is gay or a son who is TS.  The other point is that you can't be telling them that you "want to be a woman", as their answer could simply be "well you can't".  Remember that simply wanting to be a woman doesn't make you one.  You are either a woman or you are not.

That struck me as a very good way of saying it. It's not that you want to be a woman, the case is that you actually are one, simply in the wrong body. Right now, I'm wrestling with how/when to come out to my mom as well. I know she'll be far less than accepting, so I think it's always best to prepare for the worst. In my case, I'm working on setting up a secondary shelter and an income for when push comes to shoved and I get booted out. You need to think of what the worst likely scenario will be, and really prepare for that. No matter what, I believe that your parents will love you and eventually accept you, even if they don't initially support you. Until then, you need to remain strong and show them that you're serious and have given this a considerable amount of deliberation.