dhn mjnh'op

juliemac · April 26, 2011, 10:21:59 PM

Sorry. Feeling sorry for my self. Pathetic.
Im going top disappear for a while.
Take care all

Janet_Girl · April 26, 2011, 10:34:06 PM

I take it the surgeon is of no help, or travel expenses make it impossible to go see him. It sounds like you are still dilating, which is good.

I wish I could help. But all I can do is offer a shoulder to cry on and a warm sisterly hug.

Kristyn · April 26, 2011, 11:00:14 PM

I care Julie. I'm sorry you are in such a state. I wish I could wash it all away from you but the best I can do is send you some healing thoughts, love and understanding. Stay strong my friend.

RabbitsOfTheWorldUnite · April 26, 2011, 11:11:08 PM

Overcoming obstacles makes us stronger. Don't lose heart and always take pride in knowing you can make it through another day. I love you julie.

FairyGirl · April 27, 2011, 02:19:21 AM

Julie, sorry hon but you're wrong. We do care. I'm very sorry that the doctors you have seen haven't been able to help you, and I can just imagine how devastated you must feel. Probably a dumb question on my part but have you tried using maxipads to cut down on the clothing abrasion? They used to help me in that regard when I was still swollen after surgery.

The thing is to try at all costs to keep your depth. Width can be regained, I know this from experience. As long as you can still use #1, keep using it! It sounds like maybe swelling is causing most of the issues? What did the doctors tell you about the distended/swollen regions? Maybe if you can keep those parts protected for a while and continue dilating with the #1 eventually those parts will heal. I'm sorry I don't know the specific details, but we are here for each other and that's a lot more important than all those arguing threads put together. We really do care, because we are in this together.

*big hugs*
Chloe

juliemac · April 27, 2011, 06:59:11 PM

If there were a group of people that would understand, it would be you guys.
Last night I was overly tired, frustrated and pissed off. I melted emotionally, crying, I typed it out to get it out of my system never intending to hit send.
I was feeling sorry for myself and the cause of the problem was my decisions last year. Well the damage is done and though some of it can be minimized, I dont have a way to pay for it. I need to find a way to reduce the effects till I can.
It took 3 weeks to get the results of a blood test for hormone levels (just another frustration), my hormones are good with the script I have.
Its almost 8pm, jammies are on and I am going to bed with out dialating.

Again, if any one was offended, please dont be, I was venting irrationally and not directed at you.

Kristyn · April 27, 2011, 07:17:32 PM

There's no need to explain yourself Julie, you have every right to feel the way you do.

Please do not go to bed without dilating, you have to maintain what you have because eventually you will have the money to have things fixed up. You don't want to look back a couple of years from now and say "Damn! I wish I would have kept dilating!". Hang in there things will get better, they always do!

FairyGirl · April 27, 2011, 07:30:53 PM

Quote from: Kristyn on April 27, 2011, 07:17:32 PM
There's no need to explain yourself Julie, you have every right to feel the way you do.

Please do not go to bed without dilating, you have to maintain what you have because eventually you will have the money to have things fixed up. You don't want to look back a couple of years from now and say "Damn! I wish I would have kept dilating!". Hang in there things will get better, they always do!

exactly what she said. *hugs*

juliemac · April 28, 2011, 08:56:28 PM

10 months to the day after surgery for me...., And yes, I did dilate.
I found a place that might give me the cash, but at 24%. Ouch.

Kristyn · April 28, 2011, 09:36:48 PM

Quote from: juliemac on April 28, 2011, 08:56:28 PM
10 months to the day after surgery for me...., And yes, I did dilate.
I found a place that might give me the cash, but at 24%. Ouch.

Congratulations on 10 months!

Thank you for dilating and sticking through this tough time--you won't regret it.

24% seems high, I guess. Depends on how much you are borrowing and your ability and time frame to pay back

Janet_Girl · April 28, 2011, 11:17:27 PM

At 24%, that sounds like a credit card. You should be able find something cheaper.

Hang in there with the dilations. No I have not had SRS, but I do read what others have done and not done. You need to at least keep up even the smallest one, till you can get things fixed.

And Congratulations on 10 Months.

juliemac · May 01, 2011, 07:38:28 PM

10 months. Wow. Seems like I have been "right" for ever.

I'm switching my bank to a Credit Union as my bank buys other banks but seems sparse on loans. The other guys will be a fall back.

juliemac · May 04, 2011, 08:40:42 PM

You really are a remarkable bunch of people. I am glad to have found you and thats from the bottom of my heart.

I discovered tonight (after months of PITA dialations) that if I depress the dialator toewards my back, I didnt bruise the expansile tissue.
A full hour of #2, (Bob's it name BTW) and no pain. Phew.
Watch out Juan, your next.....

(hehehe)

FairyGirl · May 04, 2011, 08:59:18 PM

That's great news Julie! My #2 (Mr. Pointy) was a lifesaver for several months because due to contraction I just couldn't get any larger around, but thanks to "him" I didn't lose any depth. After a while with more healing and softening of skin I'm once again able to use my larger sizes.

So glad to hear you're getting better!

*hugs*
Chloe

Renate · May 04, 2011, 09:34:41 PM

Julie:

I would guess that you are using completely straight dilators?
Some women seem to prefer the curved ones.
(And then again, some don't seem to care.)

You might try ordering some of the Soul Source curved dilators.

juliemac · May 05, 2011, 05:44:19 PM

Quote from: Renate on May 04, 2011, 09:34:41 PM
You might try ordering some of the Soul Source curved dilators.

Interesting. I'll have to convert them to metric to see what size to order though

Renate · May 05, 2011, 08:03:23 PM

Quote from: juliemac on May 05, 2011, 05:44:19 PM
I'll have to convert them to metric...

Here is a size chart.

FairyGirl · May 05, 2011, 08:16:28 PM

Quote from: juliemac on May 05, 2011, 05:44:19 PM
Interesting. I'll have to convert them to metric to see what size to order though

well on the website they say they are 9 inches length, but this picture I posted in another thread shows mine only measure 8 inches or so:

The numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4 respectively are:

1 1/8" diameter x 9" length (circumference 3.5") d = 2.9 cm, c = 8.9 cm
1 1/4" diameter x 9" length (circumference 3.9") d = 3.2 cm, c = 9.9 cm
1 3/8" diameter x 9" length (circumference 4.3") d = 3.5 cm, c = 10.9 cm
1 1/2" diameter x 9" length (circumference 4.7") d = 3.8 cm, c = 11.9 cm

It's amazing how much difference a tiny eight of an inch diameter makes in how it feels going in!

juliemac · May 06, 2011, 04:51:27 AM

LOL. I saw the circumference and thought 4 1/2" OMG! That would hurt!

I need a circle template (like the OLD day drafters used)
"Want to sleep with me? Where do you fit in this?"
A little too forward?

Order going in tonight.

And what happened to your avatar Fairygirl?

FairyGirl · May 06, 2011, 06:45:06 AM

Quote from: juliemac on May 06, 2011, 04:51:27 AM
LOL. I saw the circumference and thought 4 1/2" OMG! That would hurt!

I need a circle template (like the OLD day drafters used)
"Want to sleep with me? Where do you fit in this?"
A little too forward?

Order going in tonight.

And what happened to your avatar Fairygirl?

ha I like the template idea

I change them around randomly lol. Currently it's one of my own art creations, her ears are more pointy than mine

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