Babies (Rant)

[FinnBear]

I'm not going to lie I love babies. I love my friends babies, I love babysitting, hell I practically live with my godson and his mother. I personally however do not want to have my own babies. Ever. I have never ever wanted that. I am perfectly content taking care or and loving other people's children. Today I was at my local comic book store (it's free comic book day!) and one of our regulars comes in with his 4 month old child. So I go over to him play with him a little and then he leaves after which another regular says "and you want to be a dude?"

first of all this pissed me off because I don't want to be male I am male. Second of all what part of interacting with babies is feminine? Do men not help make babies? Do men not help raise babies? I didn't run over there all "omg you're so cute" and cooing at it I merely interacted in a positive manner with the child. If this was the first incident I wouldn't be so upset but I've had several people criticize me for hanging out with children.

Am I alone in my love for children? Does that really make me more feminine?

[sascraps]

No. And while I personally have no instincts at all for raising or caring for human babies, a lot of men are even more baby-crazy than women and want to have at least a few children. I love raising fur-kids though. 

[Lee]

Nah.  Tiny babies annoy/scare me, but little kids are cute.  Today this little girl walked up to my friend and I with a hand full of dandelions and handed us one.  My immediate reaction was "Awwww."

[JohnAlex]

I can totally relate.  I also love babies, but somehow I also always knew I didn't want to have one of my own.

After I came out to one of my friends, he said to me, "Just what about you do you think is manly?" and then proceeded to give me a list of "female" things I do, such as loving babies. 
It pissed me off.  Even if a lot of men do love babies as well.  I don't even care.  I love babies.  so what.  I'm going to be who I am no matter what that means.  I'm not going to conform myself to the typical male just so people think I'm "manly."   I'm going to be whatever I am.

[Sephirah]

Sorry to butt in here, but the notion that guys can't have a genuine love towards caring for, and interacting with kids is utter hogwash. My cousin works in childcare, and my brother is so sickeningly gaga over the little critters that it turns my stomach. He's at his happiest when he's making all those insane baby noises and up to his elbows in vomit, crud and dirty diapers / nappies. Ugh.

It's a stereotype that's massively outdated and has as much relevance in today's society as trying to make fire by rubbing sticks together.

[PandaValentine]

It's definitely one stereotype I dislike. Two of my sisters boyfriends were like that with her son, very playful with him. It just shows a guy likes kids, or that he's possibly a family man. But yeah I act like that with my nephew, I usually get smiles because I think I'm read as an older brother since I'm too young and two boyish looking to be his mom. I don't do well with other peoples kids though, they kinda bug me. Babies though are adorable but I don't fawn over them. Still I think it's stupid some people think that makes a guy less of a man. Women are not the only people in this world with a love for children. In fact I've met a lot of guys who are playful like that around kids. The ones who aren't are usually frowned upon by women. Though not all since women can be the same way and completely avoid or show no desire for little kids. It's not a man or a woman thing, it's a human thing. Some people like kids, some people LOVE kids, some people dislike kids, other people HATE kids. Nothing to do with women or men. That guy was an ->-bleeped-<-.

But I have heard the same, "And you want to be a male/man" followed by the fact that I like tight clothing (or did) or that sometimes I like wearing eye liner or because I talk baby to animals. But the way I see it, I know men who have done all those things, so the guys who are saying that probably just have some insecurity with their masculinity.

[Adio]

I did an ob/"mother/baby" clinical rotation last semester and loved it.  The birthing process/labor wasn't my favorite part, but I loved working with the babies in the nursery and NICU.  I had never held a newborn before, so it was a very interesting experience.  My first reaction was to go "aww" at how cute and tiny they were.  I briefly thought about becoming a neonatal nurse practitioner. 

Men can love babies, it's not just women.  Why do you think there are so many male pediatricians, ob/gyns, and neonatal/pediatric nurse practitioners?  If those men didn't love babies and children, they (probably) wouldn't work with that population.

[BrandonJames]

I have been taking care of kids my whole life, i started with my brothers. my oldest brother is four years my jr. and my next is 6yrs my jr. so i was  old enough to help around the house and pretty much took over at 11. then i was watching them left and right. i have had plenty of babysitting gigs and i even worked in a daycare for a bit. but i didnt have a chance to come out before i left. i didnt like the way they handled things at the daycare. its weird for the first 2 yrs after i left home i wanted nothing to do with kids, i felt like if i saw another kid i was gonna pull my hair out. but now that things are just starting to look like they will fall into place i want one. its weird tho i already feel so at ease with other peoples kids that the thought of having one around the house all the time dosent bother me too much.

however my gf is constantly changing her mind as to if she is ready or not. im talking every other month or so she wants one and then she dosent and wants it to be just us for a bit. I have known for a while that i cant have kids so i think i have just strived to be around them as much as i can. even before i came out to myself i knew that i couldnt have kids, its a medical and genetic. my aunt cant and my mom wasnt supposed to even get pregnat but i gess thats just how it works sometimes.

[Mr.Rainey]

I am on the kids scare me side of the fence here but I disage with the stereotype.

[Yakshini]

I personally dislike babies, but I'm only one person. I love fur-babies, especially kitties, and that's fine with me. My love for cats could be considered feminine but I really don't care.

[some ftm guy]

Sorry to butt in here, but the notion that guys can't have a genuine love towards caring for, and interacting with kids is utter hogwash. My cousin works in childcare, and my brother is so sickeningly gaga over the little critters that it turns my stomach. He's at his happiest when he's making all those insane baby noises and up to his elbows in vomit, crud and dirty diapers / nappies. Ugh.

It's a stereotype that's massively outdated and has as much relevance in today's society as trying to make fire by rubbing sticks together.

couldn't have said it better myself, I'm one of the 'don't want children they're loud, annoying and expensive." guys. then again i don't have any positive male examples of parenting even if i liked kids so it'd be stupid if i had kids or even babysat. I'll hopefully always have a dog though. and the stereotype that only a real man wants nothing to do with kids is pretty damn stupid. what does that mean if it's true? that 99% of all fathers became fathers by accident? i was thinking probably half or a little less do by accident. i bet most men want to pass on their genes probably just as much as women do it's just because of that stupid stereotype they know to not talk about it or people will be like "what kind of man are you?" or something.

[kyril]

There's nothing inherently unmanly about liking, caring for, or interacting with kids.

However, it is something you're going to have to learn to be very careful with. If you're read as male, you simply cannot freely interact with other people's kids. It's seen as suspicious, dangerous behaviour. My father (completely upstanding respectable totally-non-pedophile innocent citizen) had the cops called on him once when he approached a 4-year-old boy whom he saw wandering alone in a mall. He was trying to get the boy to come with him to the security desk. He walked up to the boy and knelt down and greeted him, the boy ran away, somebody called the police. Most adult men avoid other people's kids (and my dad typically does too, this was an exception prompted by safety concern) not because we don't like kids but because we don't want to arouse suspicion that we like kids too much.

[Cindy]

There's nothing inherently unmanly about liking, caring for, or interacting with kids.

However, it is something you're going to have to learn to be very careful with. If you're read as male, you simply cannot freely interact with other people's kids. It's seen as suspicious, dangerous behaviour. My father (completely upstanding respectable totally-non-pedophile innocent citizen) had the cops called on him once when he approached a 4-year-old boy whom he saw wandering alone in a mall. He was trying to get the boy to come with him to the security desk. He walked up to the boy and knelt down and greeted him, the boy ran away, somebody called the police. Most adult men avoid other people's kids (and my dad typically does too, this was an exception prompted by safety concern) not because we don't like kids but because we don't want to arouse suspicion that we like kids too much.

This is so true and so important. Why are there not enough male teachers in junior/primary schools? Because of the risk of being labelled as a paedophile. I love babies, like small children and go off them when they are teens. Hmm normal adult. But the danger of being labelled in public as a paedophile  is so damaging.  I personally know a man who had a senior position. He was arrested for paedophilia, the press were present as the police invaded his home. He was totally innocent. It was a case of mistaken identity and poor police work. Why were the press there?

His career and life have been ruined.

Slightly off topic, I was brought before a committee for sexual abuse of a female student following a complaint by the student, yes me. I sat before this large group of people who did not look as if they were interested in my side of the story.

Asked to respond to the action I told the group that E had told me she could hear thoughts. My thoughts were anti her and I thought her a prostitute. All of which was crap. When she presented her side of the story she admitted she could read peoples minds. The committee gave her the benefit of the doubt. For X sake a Univesity that give benefit of doubt to a mind reader

In practice , I was going to fail her as a student as she hadn't done any of the work (post grad), but she needed to stay in Australia while her son finished high school. She concocted the whole mess to stay while her son  finished school, she then left. 

I was tarnished.

Cindy

[Brent123]

There's nothing inherently unmanly about liking, caring for, or interacting with kids.

However, it is something you're going to have to learn to be very careful with. If you're read as male, you simply cannot freely interact with other people's kids. It's seen as suspicious, dangerous behaviour. My father (completely upstanding respectable totally-non-pedophile innocent citizen) had the cops called on him once when he approached a 4-year-old boy whom he saw wandering alone in a mall. He was trying to get the boy to come with him to the security desk. He walked up to the boy and knelt down and greeted him, the boy ran away, somebody called the police. Most adult men avoid other people's kids (and my dad typically does too, this was an exception prompted by safety concern) not because we don't like kids but because we don't want to arouse suspicion that we like kids too much.

I love kids and this worries me. I love playing with kids but, once I pass more as male, I'm going to have to alter the way I act around them.

[Alex37]

I love kids and this worries me. I love playing with kids but, once I pass more as male, I'm going to have to alter the way I act around them.

yeah this worries me too

[PandaValentine]

There's nothing inherently unmanly about liking, caring for, or interacting with kids.

However, it is something you're going to have to learn to be very careful with. If you're read as male, you simply cannot freely interact with other people's kids. It's seen as suspicious, dangerous behaviour. My father (completely upstanding respectable totally-non-pedophile innocent citizen) had the cops called on him once when he approached a 4-year-old boy whom he saw wandering alone in a mall. He was trying to get the boy to come with him to the security desk. He walked up to the boy and knelt down and greeted him, the boy ran away, somebody called the police. Most adult men avoid other people's kids (and my dad typically does too, this was an exception prompted by safety concern) not because we don't like kids but because we don't want to arouse suspicion that we like kids too much.

Couldn't agree more. It really saddens me that this is the way society has come to view all men, and so many good men get hurt for it.

[FebruaryFalls]

Yeah, I love babies, I love kids, but I have no interest in having my own, nor do I want to bring a kid into this world. If I ever chose to have one, I'd adopt

[JohnAlex]

Yeah, I love babies, I love kids, but I have no interest in having my own, nor do I want to bring a kid into this world. If I ever chose to have one, I'd adopt

Same here.

[Kohitsu]

I'm one of the few guys here that cannot stand being around children. They freak me out. I don't know why, I've just always been really disgusted and disturbed by little children, especially before I knew I was trans. Fur-children, especially dogs, is another story. I see a dog and I go all gaga over it like a stereotypical female would go gaga over someone's baby. I just love baby animals a billion times more than human babies. 

This reminds me of one time in art class, we had to go around the room and each person revealed a secret about themselves. One guy said, "I hate children, every time I see or even hear one, I just want to smash their tiny heads into the concrete." Everyone else in the room was like "OMG!!!" But I was thinking to myself "Well, that makes two of us then..." Yeah... don't have children around me. XD;

[FinnBear]

yeah this worries me too

Me three. I'm already having to work at not smiling around little children. Especially little girls who I constantly smile at because they're so cute. I'm really paranoid that's going to get me into a lot of trouble later and I hate, HATE; the fact that because I'm percieved as male that means I'll no longer be able to interact with children the way I have been. It really sucks.