I identify as about 75% female and 25% male.* I do not think and live the way I do to make a political statement. I am not like those feminists who while not actually being attracted to other women became lesbians as a way of signalling their profound dislike for the prevailing patriarchal society. However, I don't think that androgynous describes me either. I am very attracted to femininity and I love expressing it. I am definitely much more female than male. Androgyny seems to me at least to describe people who define themselves as being neither male or female. I am giving serious thought to describing myself as transgendered because I have feminised my male name and I use 'Miss' or 'Ms' as my chosen title, there are many other reasons as well. What caused me some confusion is that the term transsexual that I had identified with seems to increasingly mean these days someone who seriously intends to physically transition to the opposite sex through HRT and surgery. While I have taken oestrogen and spiro in the past, I am dead set against surgery.
* Often this can go up to 90% female and 10% male. Other times it can fall away to a 70,30 split. But the female in me is always the dominant personality. The boy(and I use the term boy deliberately, the male part of me is not a man)part of me is thoughtful and he doesn't demand a lot of attention, but he doesn't want to disappear either. He has pulled me back on occasion from taking an irrevocable step. E.g one time on a crowded train I came within a hair's breadth of standing up and telling everyone the truth about myself. I have felt this powerful compulsion quite a number of times, and I feel that it was the boy in me who held me back and urged caution. I have learned to listen to his counsel.
